


A Moment Beneath the Stars

by Moonrayne



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Kissing, Light Angst, Masturbation, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonrayne/pseuds/Moonrayne
Summary: A series of chronological snippets told from the point of view of Sara Ryder, mostly focused on her romance with Jaal Ama Darav. This fic follows canon fairly closely, with some divergence in pacing and additions to conversations. There are also plenty of "in-between" moments, exploring the progression of their relationship. Enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy meets girl. And then threatens to kill her.

Sara Ryder did not know whether the beefy, lilac-skinned angara towering over her was trying to be intimidating or if he simply had no concept of personal space. Intimidated, she was not; despite the fact that his eyes were oceans and his voice was whiskey. She was the Human Pathfinder, and she would not let herself be daunted by broad shoulders or close proximity. 

 _“Aya is hidden”_ , had been his first words to her. They hadn’t been expecting visitors and were likely feeling threatened because of it. She could understand that, so she went with her gut: “I apologize. We _are_ here peacefully. Landing here, without warning, on fire, was not the plan.” she answered, hoping this angara could read the sincerity in her eyes. 

“That’s good to know. Because if it was, that would be a very bad plan.” he replied with a wry smile that made something in her belly waver. “I’ll inform Evfra. He’ll be waiting for you in his office at the Resistance Headquarters. I’ll meet you there.” He walked back the way he’d come, leaving her with Paaran Shie and the soldiers. 

Sara smiled internally at the exchange, it was certainly better than First Contact with the kett, she concluded. Her walk through the angaran city was tense, but the sights were beautiful. Though she was not allowed to interact with anyone but the mayor, she mentally catalogued the details of what she saw. The angara were fascinating, so many different colors and accents. Aya itself was lush, filled with pleasant smells, vibrant foliage, and elegant architecture; she hoped someday her people would have a similar home. 

She entered the Resistance Headquarters to find the angara with the scar on his neck again, Jaal she thought she’d heard Paaran Shie say. Now, she was certain these people had no concept of personal space, because the one walking past her was definitely in her bubble and staring unabashedly; she stared back, turning to meet his gaze defiantly. 

“Our experience with the kett makes us naturally distrustful of all aliens.” Jaal explained, as she approached him. 

Sara nodded in understanding, adding another reason to her growing list of dislike for the kett. Her job was now made more difficult, having to battle whatever prejudices the angara had developed toward aliens. “We’ve had our own run-ins with the kett.”

“Then...you really do understand.” he responded with mild surprise. “When the Archon came to Heleus, he demolished our sovereign state -- took what he wanted, as if we were nothing.” He explained further, anger evident on his face. “Now the kett mercilessly abduct angara. Often, we never see our people again.” 

The sadness in his eyes at those words made Sara’s heart ache for him. She did not want to imagine the pain and constant fear the angara must live with; the knowledge that the kett were actively snatching their people away. Her distaste for the kett was growing by the minute. “The kett kidnap you -- steal your people?” 

“And the Resistance fights them every day, with everything we can.” he replied, his chest puffed and chin raised, obviously proud of the Resistance’s work as defenders for his people. 

“Is it attrition? What are they after?” Sara inquired, her analytical mind immediately seeking the root of the problem. 

“You should save your questions for Evfra. He is waiting, come.” Was his only response, before leading the way to the Resistance’s leader.

 

* * *

 

He had threatened to kill her in her sleep. And here she was, showing him around her ship. Of course, she knew it was an impossible threat; SAM would make sure of that. Regardless, she would do her best to earn his trust, he was her envoy after all; an ambassador for his people just as she was a representative for hers. 

“To the left are the crew quarters with the bathrooms at the far end, feel free to pick a locker and a bed.” She paused and looked at him inquisitively, “Do Angara bathe? You smell really nice, so I would imagine as much…” 

Jaal chuckled at her “Yes, we do clean our bodies regularly with water and soaps. I have brought my own cleansing materials, I can send you an inventory if that is required.” 

“Please do.” She nodded and continued forward, pointing out the med lab to the right -- “Lexi, our doctor, will want to give you a full physical as soon as possible, if that’s alright. Just make an appointment with her when you get a chance.” Jaal grunted his agreement, nodding in understanding. “The galley is at the end of the corridor to the right, our resident grumpy old krogan, Drack, resides there, so you may want to stake your claim somewhere else if you need a space to work.” Sara chuckled to herself at the thought. 

“Oh! What do Angara eat? Do Angara eat?” She hoped her curiosity was endearing and not aggravating; she knew from experience that she sometimes asked too many questions. Jaal seemed accepting of it for the time being, he chuckled at her again before replying. “Yes, we mostly eat nutrient paste, which I have also brought with me. Occasionally we eat fruit, but it is generally more difficult to obtain.” 

Sara nodded absently “Hmm. Do you know what’s in the nutrient paste or how to make it?” 

“No.” He replied simply. 

“The door straight ahead leads to my quarters, so you know where to go if you need to follow through on your threat.” Sara quipped jokingly at him. The rich laugh that escaped him was unexpectedly wonderful, she smiled up at him, glad that her new crewmate seemed to have a sense of humor. “Let’s take the stairs up to the bridge.” 

“This is Suvi, our science officer, and Kallo, our pilot.” She introduced, “This is Jaal Ama Darav, he has volunteered to be our envoy through angaran space.” They welcomed him kindly and briskly, as was their way. Jaal returned their greetings before following Sara all the way up to the front of the bridge, once again highlighting his lack of regard for personal space, she realized -- feeling the warm bulk of him behind her. 

Sara swallowed thickly when he felt his breath near her ear. “You were right, the inside of the ship is even more impressive. This view is astonishing.” Jaal murmured in a hushed, awestruck tone. 

She made a half turn to face him; his eyes looked somehow focused and unfocused on the sight before him; the stars reflected in his eyes. He was beautiful, Sara realized -- in the purest sense of the word. The universe in all its splendor and light was mirrored on his face, making him glow with the wonder of it. 

Sara shook herself from the thought; she would have to speak to him about this close proximity thing -- or maybe not. 

“SAM.” Her voice too brash. “Call the ground crew in for a meeting please.” 

“Right away Pathfinder.” SAM’s voice echoed through the ship. 

“Let’s finish up our tour and head to the conference room, shall we.” Sara indicated toward the door, pulling Jaal out of his reverie.

 

* * *

 

Sara stared at the datapads in front of her, each detailing the information Jaal had provided on the two worlds they should visit. Voeld seemed like a good place to start, if the kett had a presence there, then perhaps they could find information as to the Moshae’s location on their own. On the other hand, Jaal had mentioned that Moshae Sjefa was a scientist, perhaps if they spoke with the scientists on Havarl, they would be able to provide some insight on both the Remnant and the Moshae. 

She sighed heavily at the implications each option held. She needed more information to make a decision; perhaps talking to Jaal would be informative, she decided. 

He was hunched over, apparently working on settling in, when Sara arrived at the tech lab. He didn’t appear to have heard her walk in. “So...Jaal” she began. 

“So?” Jaal replied, standing to face her, seemingly unsurprised by her presence; maybe he had heard her after all. 

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk alone. You comfortable in here?” Sara asked politely.

He approached her, but didn’t get as close as their previous encounters, perhaps someone had made mention the concept of personal space. “I took it as a place to work, as you suggested. And sleep -- it feels strange to stay with the others. They are -- you are --  aliens.” 

Sara smiled at him, she understood his sentiment; they had to deal with getting to know one new species, while he had to contend with five. “And you’re alien to us. So, there, we have something in common.” 

He gave her a small smile in return, “Ah, we can look at it as a… place to start.” 

Sara nodded in agreement, “Provided we each approach it from a place of understanding, I’d say that’s not a bad start.” 

Jaal looked pensive for a moment, “Perhaps then, if we’re all aliens, it’s about what _kind_ of alien, we are.” His implications clear: prove to me that you are not like the kett. 

“You had no idea about us… but you signed up to help us anyway.” Sara commented, admiring his bravery. Considering what the kett were doing to the angara, he decidedly had courage in spades. 

“Perhaps it had nothing to do with you.” Jaal replied mysteriously. 

Sara’s brow quirked at that. “Care to elaborate?” 

“I do not.” He answered. 

That was one way to stall a conversation, she thought. Recalling the reason she had come to see him originally, she asked “How do you know Moshae Sjefa?” 

“She’s our greatest mind on the Remnant. I was her student.” He explained. 

“You studied the Remnant too?” Sara asked, hoping his knowledge could add to their findings. 

Jaal made a sound resembling a derisive scoff. “A little. I was terrible. I quit. Or she threw me out. One of those.” He admitted. “We’re still… very close.” 

The loving tone in his voice made Sara’s stomach clench. She thought for a moment to clarify what the nature of their relationship was, but quickly thought better of it. They had practically just met, it would be too intimate a question. Her eyes darted around the room, seeking a way to veer the conversation elsewhere. 

“So… is that your rifle?” She asked lamely, knowing it obviously was. Though, curiously, it resembled some of the Kett weapons she had seen. 

“It is now. It’s Kett. With my own modifications.” Jaal confirmed. “I like to tinker -- to get my hands on something and take it apart.” 

Sara’s lips curved into a smile. “That’s a skill I know we can use.” She stated, thinking of all the unknown technology they had already seen in Heleus. “But I have one request,” she added with a crooked smirk, “Please don’t take apart my ship.” 

Jaal chuckled and paused, as if considering her for a moment. “You’re right. I signed up -- volunteered -- for this. It’s exciting.” He admitted. “There’s something unique about you -- uneasy, raw -- but somehow profound.” 

Sara felt something at the back of her mind buzz pleasantly at his statement. “Face value, that sounds like a compliment. A nice one.” Had the room just gotten hotter? She was certain it must have. 

He smiled warmly at her. “It is. Angara feel deeply. We have more trouble hiding our emotions than showing them.” He admitted with a low laugh. “I should… get back to my work.” 

Sara nodded, “Right, of course.” She paused, uncertain. “When we have down time. I’d love to watch you work.” Her voice had inadvertently dropped an octave. 

“Sure. I could show everyone.” He offered. 

“Umm, no. Just us. So we can get to know each other better, or just share a hobby.” If she hadn’t been blushing before, she surely was now. 

“Oh? Of course.” Jaal replied simply, as if she hadn’t just embarrassed herself. 

“Good good.” Sara slowly backed out of the room. “See you later Jaal.” 

Her cheeks burned all the way back to her quarters. That had done nothing to help the decision at hand, she’d gotten completely derailed in their conversation. Had she just tried to flirt with her new crewmate? Surely not, she merely wanted to get to know him a little better; he was technically on her team now after all. It just so happened that he was a little mysterious and interesting and kind of gorgeous -- shit.

 

* * *

 

She had decided they should go to Havarl first; partly in hopes that the scientist could provide information on the Remnant or the Moshae. Though if she were being honest with herself, she'd chosen it because Jaal had mentioned it was the angaran homeworld and that the angara suspected the planet was in decline because of the Remnant. If her predictions were correct, there would be a vault there. Perhaps she could active it, as she had the one on Eos. Perhaps she could heal the ravaged and wild planet of a people who had already suffered too much. 

They were coming into the planet’s orbit. Jaal stood nearby giving Suvi the navpoint for Daar Paleev, “This is home. This is where our ancestors came from.” His voice hitched. “It looks so small from here.” 

“It's lovely, even from up here.” Sara smiled at him. “The first time I saw Earth from orbit, it brought me to tears. I never really lost that sense of awe, I used to get misty-eyed every time I saw it.” she confessed. 

“Approaching the landing zone, Pathfinder.” Kallo called from his station. 

Sara pushed back from her place at the helm. “Liam. Jaal. Suit up, we’re heading out.” 

They disembarked to find that it was raining. Really raining. She was pretty sure she would cry if she thought about it for too long. 

“SAM, are the water and air safe?” she asked, fingers itching to remove her helmet. 

“Yes, Pathfinder” 

Her helmet came off immediately, followed closely by her gloves. She faced heavenward, eyes closed, hands outstretched, a smile on her lips. She spun slowly, letting the drops of rain wet her skin, like tiny kisses of dew. “It's beautiful” she breathed. 

Liam cheered. “Yeah, now this is a planet!” 

Sara could feel Jaal’s eyes on her, maybe he thought she was crazy now; she wasn't entirely sure she cared at the moment. 

“It is beautiful,” Jaal agreed, “but the wilds can also be deadly.” 

Sara opened her eyes to meet his gaze. “Deadly and beautiful can be good, given the right circumstances…” her voice throaty, she let the insinuation hang. 

She watched the breeze play with his Rofjinn, his eyes shining in evening sky, his rifle in his arms; the words deadly and beautiful echoed in her mind. 

“Whoa there Ryder. Take it down a notch” Liam pleaded with a chuckle. 

Sara laughed, equipping her gloves once more. “Come on, let's go.” 

 

* * *

 

“I'll stay with her. Seriously. This is part of what I'm trained to do. I'll keep her calm until you two can clear out the wildlife.” Liam insisted. 

Sara frowned, but nodded. He was right, they wouldn't be able to get the injured scientist back Pelaav until they had a clear path, and she was too delirious to be left alone. They were sheltered at least, so Liam could keep her safe for the time being. 

“Alright, we’ll clear the way and come back to get you. Stay safe.” She stressed, gripping his shoulder in emphasis. 

“We should hurry.” Jaal insisted, “The rain is gaining intensity. There may be a serious storm on the way.” 

Sara followed him out of the hovel that had once been a house. Jaal had not been wrong; the rain was pelting her skin viciously now, her hair was soaked and heavy in its ponytail, bangs sticking to to her forehead. 

The low growls of the Rylkor could be heard nearby. “SAM, picking anything up?” Sara asked in hushed tones. 

“I’m detecting several life forms in the vicinity Ryder.” SAM informed. 

Before Sara could devise a plan, a Rylkor burst through the bushes beside them, roaring its hunger. She gestured at Jaal to follow and ran as fast as she could, leading the creature away from the house. The rain was really coming down, visibility was getting worse by the minute. 

She fired an incinerating blast from her omni-tool, succeeding in getting it to chase her as she sprinted at full speed. “Ryder!” She heard Jaal call out, but it was too late; her momentum carried her over the edge of the cliff. Sara instinctively used her jump jet to stay airborne, turning her body to aim her rifle at the Rylkor. Her scope showed its brain spattering out in two directions; Jaal was a quick shot, it seemed. 

The beast tumbled over the cliff, down into the ravine. “Ryder!” Jaal shouted from the edge, his arm outstretched. He was much too far for her to reach however and she knew the timer on her jet was nearly at its end. 

As she felt gravity begin to take action, Sara used her biotics to propel her forward, nearly toppling Jaal in her exuberance. “Shit! Are you alright?” she asked with a laugh. 

He had practically caught her mid air, turning with her momentum so that they stayed standing, his hands at her waist. He laughed boisterously “Yes. That was… exciting.” he decided. “Are you well?” Sara nodded in affirmation, dropping her hands from where they lay on his chest as he released her. 

“Pathfinder. Visibility is below 5%. I suggest finding shelter until the storm passes.” SAM suggested. 

“We need to find somewhere to shield ourselves from the storm. We can’t get back to the house like this.” Sara yelled at Jaal, the force of the storm was making the wind rush around them, water bombarding them from all sides.

“There is a cave nearby.” Jaal called out, grabbing her wrist to lead the way. 

He’d been right, there was a small cave a few meters away, the inner cavern was sheltered from the raging storm. “Nice find, Jaal. This will be perfect until the rain abates.” Sara praised 

She informed Liam of their whereabouts over comms, letting him know that they would wait out the storm. Liam told her that he’d been able to stabilize the angaran scientist and that she was much calmer now.

“Great, now all we have to do is wait for the storm to pass.” Sara commented, sitting down on the cave floor facing Jaal, arms resting on her knees. She noted the way her angaran companion sat; his back against the cave wall, calves and feet folded in under his thighs. 

“You’re a great shot Jaal, and you move so fast. Good eyes too.” Sara complimented her companion. 

“Thank you. The same could be said of you. Your ability to predict movement is impressive.” He countered. 

“Thanks, lots of practice I guess. ” she replied with a smile and a shrug. “You called my name before I went over the cliff. Did you know it was there?” Sara asked.

“Yes. I saw it. Did you not?” Jaal asked curiously. 

“Not until I was right up on it. The darkness and the rain made it difficult to see. I guess angara eyes are better suited for this environment.” She concluded with a shrug. 

“Hmm, your reflexes must be very fast then. Otherwise you would have ended up in the ravine with the Rylkor.” His wry chuckle echoing through the chamber. 

The pair fell silent, the fierce wind outside making a muffled whistle inside the cave. 

“So Jaal, what’s your story? Tell me about yourself?” Sara asked, hoping to both pass the time and get to know this fascinating angara a little better. 

He stayed silent for a moment. “Why?” he asked, suddenly on guard. 

“Well… why wouldn’t you?” Sara paused. “Are you hiding something?” Her brow quirked in disbelief. 

“Maybe. That would only make sense.” Jaal responded, his tone discomfited. 

Sara’s lips quirked. “You’re messing with me, right?” She asked, thinking it was the best explanation for the sudden change in his demeanor. 

“Possibly.” He replied, though he seemed unsure. “What does that mean?” 

Sara’s brow furrowed, recalling her exact wording. “Uh, sorry. It’s an idiom. It means you’re joking, trying to make me feel uncomfortable.” 

“Ah. Then no. Evfra instructed me to be cautious. I’m... not very good at being cautious.” He admitted. 

Sara giggled at that. “Don’t worry. I’m not either.” she confided. “Here, I’ll start. I was born on Earth. Third planet of the Sol System in the Milky Way and the home planet of humans.” 

“I was born here, on Havarl.” Jaal said hesitantly. 

“And you moved to Aya first chance you got?” She guessed. 

“I lived there because of the Vesaal. It’s a privilege to work on Aya, since it cannot support a large population, so we have a lottery to share it.” Jaal explained. 

Sara smiled at that. “Aya is lovely, what I saw of it anyway. It reminded me of Earth... in some ways. I’ll show you vids sometime, though they don’t do it justice.” 

“I’d like that, thank you.” He returned her smile. 

“Hear that?” she asked excitedly, “The rain is dying down.” Sara ran to the cave’s entrance for a better look. It was still raining, but it had return to the steady drizzle they’d experienced upon landing.

“Come on, let’s get going.” she beckoned at Jaal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Jaal begin their journey of friendship, learning, and cooperation. And then there's some angara butt!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos and to those who subscribed, it is very encouraging. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. After proofreading so many times, the words start to blur together.

Sara was tired; they had accomplished a lot on Havarl in a relatively short time and it had taken a toll. She stretched her arms over her head, her body tense from being overworked for so many consecutive days. One more email, she told herself; one more email and she would take a break. They were headed to Voeld now; the trip would thankfully take a couple of days, so she needed to take advantage of the travel time to rest. Yoga, she decided, would be the answer to her tight muscles.

Three emails, two reports, and one project approval for Liam later, Sara finally pushed her chair back from her desk. She removed her shirt, keeping only her sports bra, and swapped her pants for tight shorts; she hated loose clothing while doing yoga, she would always end up tangled in them somehow. She placed her mat in line with the center window, the passing nebulae would be the perfect background for her practice. Her breaths steadied as she began her salutation to the stars.

She inhaled deeply, feeling the pull of the pose, focusing on the way the muscles of her back felt as they arched. She released her breath, sinking more fully into the stretch, until she could feel the tightness give away.

“Ryder. Jaal is outside your door. It appears he would like to speak with you.” Came SAM’s voice from the node at her desk.

Sara exhaled again, but stayed in her pose. So much for a relaxing yoga session, she thought bitterly. “Okay. Let him in SAM.” She would just finish this stretch and see what her angaran teammate wanted.

“Hmm, Ryder. You seem busy. Should I return later?” Jaal asked as he stepped into her quarters.

Another paced inhale. “No, just give me two seconds.”

She exhaled one last time before bringing herself back to standing. “What’s up Jaal? How can I help?” Sara asked, finally meeting his gaze. “Have a seat, if you’d like.” She added, gesturing at the couch.

Jaal stood his ground. “Ryder.” he paused, “Why did we stay on Havarl to fix the vault instead of going to Voeld sooner?”

Sara rolled up her mat while she answered. “We were already there. Plus, I would have been so mad if I had missed out on the view from atop Mithrava.”

Jaal said nothing, simply stood inside her doorway. Sara faced him again and found him staring at her curiously. “So it was convenience?” He asked, his brows furrowed.

Sara opened her mouth to agree, but stopped herself. He had interrupted her practice, and now she was being dismissive and flippant; that needed to stop. He deserved a proper answer; it was a fair question and she’d never asked anyone to follow her blindly.

“No. I’m sorry Jaal, that was a crappy answer. Come sit and I’ll explain.” She stated, grabbing a hoodie to toss over her head as she sat on the couch.

Jaal sat down next to her, his face attentive and patient.

She considered her words carefully before clarifying. “I made the decision to fix the vault on Havarl before leaving for Voeld because the tactical detriment paled in comparison to the value of healing Havarl.”

“But the Moshae… you need her to get into the vault on Aya.” He insisted.

Sara looked at him sadly, remembering the loving tone in his voice when he’d first spoken of the Moshae. “I know you care for Moshae Sjefa, Jaal.” She squeezed his arm in understanding. “But she’s one person. An important one, I know, but a few more days on Havarl wasn’t likely to be the difference in whether or not our rescue is successful.” She paused again, weighing her words. “I made the choice because all the good we could do -- the good we did -- on Havarl, was more important to me.”

“I see.” Jaal responded. He stared at her quietly, as if contemplating her words. Perhaps, he did not agree with her assessment of the situation, Sara thought.

“Jaal, there may be more decisions I’ll have make that you may not agree with. I at least want you to know that SAM and I analyze those kinds of decisions both statistically and emotionally, to make as informed a choice as possible.” She elaborated.

His brow furrowed slightly. “You misunderstand me, Ryder. I was simply curious as to why you made the decision. I did not disagree with it… it brings me joy that my homeworld is recovering, and I am hopeful and glad, in knowing that we are on our way to rescue the Moshae.”

“Oh. Oh good. Okay.” She chuckled disparagingly to herself. “Sorry for assuming, though the point still stands, I suppose. In any case, I don’t mind the question. I’m not infallible, so I always appreciate a differing viewpoint.” Sara shrugged.

“Your style of leadership is very different from Evfra’s. It is… refreshing.” Jaal commented.

She smiled and shrugged, “Thanks, I think.”

He graced her with a smile in return, his eyes aglow with the light of the passing stars. She was reminded once more just how lovely he was. She needed to stop this little crush on its tracks while she still could. Asking about his beloved would do the trick.

“So, you mentioned you studied under the Moshae. Tell me about her. Is she a teacher? A religious figure?” She asked, snapping the hem of her shorts against her thigh absentmindedly.

“She’s many things. She’s a clear thinker with deep knowledge and insight. She teaches and inspires. She is beloved. _I_ , love her.” Jaal explained.

There it was, the perfect opening. “I see. Are romantic relationships between students and teachers common amongst the angara?”

Jaal laughed “No no no. Not that way. Moshae Sjefa is 115 of your years old.”

“Oh, I take that to mean there is a large age gap, that prevents a romantic relationship between you?” Her pulse quickened at the thought; the rational part of her mind telling her that there were so many other obstacles to worry about.

“Yes, among other things. I am 27 of your years old, so it is indeed a rather large gap.” He paused, looking pensive before continuing. “Age seems much more important to the Initiative species than to angara. Liam and Doctor T’Perro both asked about my age.”

“It can be for some people. Though our lifespans vary drastically.” She commented.

“Liam explained that it is impolite to ask human women their age, but I find that I am curious.” Jaal confided.

Sara giggled. “It’s okay, Jaal. I guess I’m technically 656, but I was 22 when we left the Milky Way. That’s still within the first few years of adulthood for humans.”

“In that case, your accomplishments for your age are impressive. Though if your true age is 656, perhaps you have some work to do.” He said sardonically, his lips in a lopsided smirk that made Sara’s insides tingle.

Another giggle escaped her and she found it difficult to keep the grin from her face.

Jaal cleared his throat. “I should let you get back to… whatever it was you were doing when I interrupted.”

“It’s called yoga.” Sara explained, the smile still on her lips. “It’s an exercise that is used for training strength and flexibility in the body, and control and serenity in the mind. It focuses on meditation and regulating breath to find balance.”

“Well, it was certainly an interesting sight. Angara practice contemplative meditation, but our bodies are still, when we do so.” He concluded, clearing his throat again as he rose from the couch. “Thank you for answering my questions Ryder.”

“Anytime Jaal, it was... nice to just chat for a while. We’ll talk again later?” She asked expectantly.

“I look forward to it.” He said, granting her another small smile before exiting the room.

 

* * *

 

It had been a good day for Sara Ryder. The galaxy was mostly in shambles and barely holding together, but in the bubble of her ship, it had been a good day. After her conversation with Jaal, she’d been able to get back to her yoga practice. The exercise had been exactly what she’d needed, to soothe her muscles and calm her mind.

She had spent the rest of her day checking in with most of her crew, getting know them a little better, making sure they were okay. Some conversations had been personal, others more poignant, and a few humorous. She still wanted to finish checking in with everyone, Liam, Gil, and Vetra remained on her list, but there would be time for them tomorrow. It was nearly the end of the evening shift and she wanted to wind down in its final hours.

Sara had a specific project in mind and was hoping a certain angara would help her with it.

“Jaal, are you busy?” Sara asked, stepping into the tech lab. “I have something I’d like your help with, if you have the time.”

He was sitting on a chair at the back of the room, typing furiously into his omni-tool. “Hmm? Oh, hello Ryder.” He made a few more gestures at the device on his arm before standing to face her, giving her his full attention. “Yes, I have time. What did you need from me?”

She held her sniper rifle up in display, “I wanted to modify my scope with infrared indicators or maybe heat sensors. I’m not sure which would serve me better on Voeld.” She explained. “I thought you might be able to provide your expertise.”

His eyes widened slightly, his back straightening almost imperceptibly at her words. “Of course, I would love to help.” He beckoned her over, grabbing a second chair to place beside the one he had been occupying.

She set her rifle down on the table in front of them and sat on the chair he had provided. Jaal was broad shouldered and large, making the space feel somewhat cramped. She certainly wasn’t uncomfortable, but she could feel the warmth coming off him and the slightest tingle of his bioelectricity humming pleasantly in the air. She focused her attention on the task at hand; her deft fingers quickly finding the tools she needed to remove the scope from the rifle.

“Hmm, perhaps we should do both and give you a way to switch between them. Voeld is a harsh world and each may be useful depending on the situations we find ourselves in.” Jaal commented.

“That is a great idea, if we can manage it.” Sara agreed, handing him the scope so that he could take it apart. She stood to grab the gun cleaning kit on the shelf above them, her hand leaning on Jaal’s shoulder for support in order to reach it.

“I have another reason for coming to see you as well.” Sara admitted, settling into the chair once more.

“Oh?” He inquired absentmindedly, his focus on the scope in his hands.

“I want to learn more about your species, if that’s okay?” Sara requested, intent on finding out more about the angara in general and Jaal, specifically.

Jaal hummed his approval, his hands still working on carefully pulling apart the scope. “What would you like to know? I will answer what I can.”

Sara began taking her rifle apart, her hands performing the motions almost automatically. “How long have you had electromagnetic capabilities? How did they evolve?”

“No idea.” He replied. “Biology doesn’t interest me. But I’m sure you can easily read up on it.”

Sara frowned. “That’s disappointing. No biology at all?”

“How do your eyeballs work?” He countered.

She was sure he was being facetious, but took the bait anyway. “An internal lense focuses an image onto the retina where it becomes electrical impulses that are deciphered in the occipital lobe of the brain. Back here.” She gestured under her ponytail.

Jaal stopped his work to raise a brow at her. “You took my sarcasm as an invitation to show off. Pitiful.”

Sara laughed at that. “Sorry, I studied xenobiology when I was in the Alliance.” She shook her head. “Not that it matters. My mom was a biotic implants researcher, she ingrained a love of biology in me early on. I probably could have given you that same answer at the age of three.”

He stared at her with a smirk on his face, brow still raised.

She laughed again, a flush heating her face. “Damn, okay _that_ was showing off. Sorry!”

Jaal chuckled at her before returning his attention to the scope. “What is the Alliance?” He asked.

“Oh, the Systems Alliance is the governing body for humans in the Milky Way. I was specifically part of the Alliance military.” Sara clarified. “They provide financial assistance for education, which was great for the overpriced Salarian-style university I attended.”

“Salarian? Like Kallo?” He asked

Sara set down another part of her rifle, picking up the next piece to clean it meticulously. ‘Yeah, like Kallo. Salarians are considered an exceptionally intelligent species. My university provided the accelerated style of education that they generally receive.”

“Because you are exceptionally intelligent?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Shit. Everything I say sounds like I’m bragging. Ugh. You’re not allowed to ask me any more questions.” Sara jokingly exclaimed with a laugh, shaking her head at herself. “Tell me more about your people. How many colonies do you have? On what planets?”

“This design seems rather primitive.” He commented; the pieces of the scope laid out neatly before him. His hands now busied with working on a sketch.

“Oh, it kind of is. It’s a duplex reticle, really old school, but it’s what my dad taught me to shoot with. I’m clearly in need of an upgrade.” Sara answered.

Jaal looked at her again, as if considering her for a moment. “Hmm.”

He turned back to his schematic before speaking again. “Since the Scourge, we’ve managed to survive on a small number of planets. What we know from before the Scourge is mostly oral history.” He picked up a part examine it more closely. “We did have space flight, and the stories tell of five original colonies.”

“Interesting. Could there be other colonies out there that you’ve lost touch with?” Sara asked.

“Perhaps. The Scourge did do a good job of dividing us. It’s possible that there are angara somewhere that we don’t know about.” He agreed.

Sara gently rubbed gun oil on the bolt in her hands. “So, I know that the sages on Mithrava believe in reincarnation, but is there a central angaran religion?”

“There are many variations, but the essential tenet is reincarnation. We evolve to make our families strong. ‘Born from what was before. Blessed to be better than before.’ If you are a believer, that is.” Jaal elaborated.

“Are you?” She inquired curiously.

“No.” Was his immediate response. “Yes?” He turned to her with a laugh. “Sometimes. I don’t know if it’s the same for humans. Sahuna, my true mother, is a firm believer.”

Sara giggled, “Yes, it is definitely the same for humans.”

“Are you a believer?” He asked, his voice soft.

“Science was the religion of our household, but I don’t know… Sometimes, is a good answer, I think.” She replied, smiling at him. “Though after what we saw with Taavos, whether by religion or science… that was… amazing.”

Jaal hummed his agreement. “It was, indeed.”

“Ryder, the night shift is beginning. You should get some sleep.” SAM interjected from her omni-tool.

Sara momentarily felt like a petulant child, she didn’t want to go to bed. She was enjoying speaking with Jaal like this, so candidly and casually. She did need to rest, however, and she was nearly finished reassembling her sniper rifle, sans scope. “I suppose so. Thanks SAM.”

“You should probably get some sleep too Jaal, don’t stay up working on this for my sake. I can help with the redesign tomorrow or whenever you’re free.” Sara insisted, gently squeezing his shoulder for emphasis.

Jaal made a sound of noncommittal from his throat. “Good night, Ryder.”

“Good night Jaal, _sleep well_.” Sara made an attempt at a subtle indication before leaving the tech lab.

Today had definitely been a good day, she thought again, as she crawled into her bed with a smile plastered to her face. Her mind filled with the wry chuckle and starry eyes of a certain angara, as she drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

She was on Earth, sitting on a sandy beach, her feet buried in the sand. She could feel the warmth of the sun and hear the waves breaking against the shore. Sara took a deep breath, her lungs filling with the salty sea air.

She could hear Scott calling her name from afar. Where was he? He was always at her side. She stood, shielding her eyes from the sun to look around the horizon. She saw him, standing at the edge of a cliff, waving to her. He called her name again, beckoning her over.

She ran to him, her legs burning as she sprinted as fast as she could, but somehow never closing in. She called his name, to tell him she couldn’t; he would need to come to her. No sound came from her mouth, his name echoing in her mind. She tried again, panic setting in as the clouds darkened around them. He had turned away from her now; she saw him staring out over the cliff. She yelled his name, felt her throat sting with the effort of it, but still her voice went unheard.

The clouds rumbled, their darkness intensifying; the wind carried the massive clouds like a terrible stampede. Sara fell to her knees, the clouds were coming right at the cliff, but she couldn’t reach him. She couldn’t… and then she was falling.

Her body tumbled through the air, hitting the crags, once, twice, before landing painfully. She tried to get her bearings, tried to take a breathe. She couldn’t, she was gasping for air and she knew - _she knew_ \- she was on Habitat 7.

She looked up to find a crowd around her, but she couldn’t make out their faces. Her eyes watered as she tried to seek out her dad. He had been there. Where was he now? She could feel the people around her waiting for her to do something. Her lungs fought for air; the pressure building inside her chest and bearing down on her from the spectators. Her vision clouded, the darkness creeping in at the edges.

Sara gasped loudly for air, finally filling her lungs as she sat up in her bed. She was sweating and cold, her chest ached when she coughed. She brought her knees to her chest, fighting to steady her breathing, but losing miserably as her body convulsed with a sob. She’d had similar dreams before and she knew would again; each time bringing feelings of despair.

She wiped her eyes of the moisture that was gathering in them; her parents would have wanted her to be strong, her twin needed her to be. Sara took slow, deep breaths to calm herself; it was _just_ a dream, she repeated the mantra in her mind.

She still hadn’t quite dealt with her father’s sacrifice, she knew that. She also knew she didn’t want to face it alone. She was waiting, pushing those feelings away until Scott was by her side, to grieve with her. Sara’s conscious mind easily compartmentalized those feeling, set them aside for another day, but clearly her dreamscape was another story.

Apparently, a good day did not preclude a bad night.

 

* * *

 

Half of Sara’s day had somehow disappeared. She wasn’t sure where it had gone, but she still hadn’t checked in with Jaal about the scope and she had emails coming in faster than she could answer them. She’d had a long conversation with Vetra at least, which had been nice; for all her tough exterior, the turian was very kind.

Her stomach grumbled in protest, letting her know that her biotic body demanded sustenance. Sara sighed, there was still so much to do before they arrived at Voeld, she couldn't waste time eating. She grabbed a protein bar from the galley, devouring it in three bites as she made her way over to the storage room. She still hadn’t really spoken with Liam after everything they’d done on Havarl.

“Liam, I signed off on that... project.” She paused, wondering why her crewmate was working shirtless.

“I saw the approval, thanks Ryder, it’s great!” He exclaimed, looking up from the armor on his table. His eyes darted over her shoulder. “Jaal Ama Darav! We got our gear.”

“Kosta. Ryder.” Came Jaal’s baritone from beside her.

Sara’s brain must have short-circuited. She was certain a very naked Jaal had not just walked into this room. This had to be a dream. Was she staring? Oh stars, she was definitely staring. But how could she not -- he was fascinating. The way the thick corded tendons connected from his neck, to his chest, and down to his arms. Her eyes dipped lower, following the plane of his muscled abdomen, but found her visual exploration ruined by the table. She needed to get her hands on some angaran anatomy books as soon as possible.

Sara swallowed thickly, knowing she was blushing, but trying her best to sound casual. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s with the gun show?”

“We’re swapping armor, not weapons.” Jaal replied sardonically.

Liam chuckled, “Don’t let him tease you. I explained the reference.”

Liam turned his attention back to Jaal. “Ready to go?”

“Go!” Jaal confirmed.

Sara had no idea what she was witnessing. Liam asked and Jaal answered; it was like they were playing a speed version of 20 questions where all the questions were potentially insulting. She did her best to listen to their conversation, glancing around to room in an attempt to look at anything except Jaal -- but wow, the gradient colors of his skin were pretty.

She shuffled awkwardly with a hand on her hip, her eyes flitting frantically from one thing to the next, but somehow always coming back to -- stars, his trapezius muscles were enormous, no wonder he looked so beefy.

She could hear the tension in Jaal’s voice increasing. This needed to stop, one of them was going to get insulted and the other, punched. “Okay stop! Hang on a second. Are you deliberately trying to offend Jaal?” Sara demanded, focusing her attention on Liam.

“Of course he is.” Jaal replied with a shrug.

“That’s the point. Asking stuff the diplomats leave out. Armor for answers.” Liam explained.

“My turn was earlier.” Jaal elaborated. Sara met his gaze, realizing it was the first time she’d seen him without his eyepiece -- even in the dim lighting of the storage room, his eyes were luminous. She covered her face with her hand in an effort to concentrate.“Nexus info packets leave _a lot_ out.” Jaal added.

Jaal stammered an apology, “I am sorry -- was this not sanctioned?

“You weaseling adhi.” Liam blurted.

“Nevertheless.” Jaal remarked, walking toward the door. She did her best to keep her eyes locked on his. “Ryder.” He said as a farewell, the smirk on his face telling her that he had certainly seen the blush on her cheeks. Sara couldn’t help but stare as he exited the room; she was _not_ disappointed. The phrase “ass that won’t quit” came to mind -- and his back -- the way the sinewy muscles met to make an exquisite pattern was entrancing.

“Why was he naked? What was this about?” Sara whispered urgently to Liam, once Jaal was out of sight. “You’d better start explaining fast, Kosta.” Sara practically hissed, her cheeks still burning.

Liam laughed, “Not sure why you’re complaining. The way you broke neck just then, suggests you quite enjoyed that show.”

“Liam” Sara replied, warningly.

“Okay okay, relax. It was just for convenience. We were joking around and realized we didn’t know how to insult each other. Or how _not_ to. Some things are so ingrained, they’re invisible. We don’t even know the warning signs.” he reasoned. “So we got it over with.  Now we won’t do it accidentally. Like when we’re trying to negotiate an outpost. Enough of his people want to shoot us _now_.”

She crossed her arms with a heavy sigh, “Okay, I can understand the intent. It does make sense to figure out each other’s triggers in a controlled setting. It’s actually kind of good team-building exercise, provided everyone can keep from getting offended.” Sara conceded.

Liam scoffed “If Jaal was offended, I’d be on the floor. I’ll take that kind of honest any day. We have a lot to learn, that’s part of what our team is for. Better now, then when people’s lives are on the line.”

“Alright, fair enough. No harm, no foul. Just... I know we don’t have a uniform policy or anything, but in the future, if the two of you could try to stay mostly clothed while in public, that would be grand.” She pleaded, shaking her head disbelievingly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Jaal are grief-stricken. They seek comfort in each other and find the beginnings of real friendship (and maybe a little more).

Sara sat by her gear locker, thumbing the switch on her new scope. Despite her insistence, Jaal had stayed up to work on it; he’d only just finished it when he handed it to her, before they'd disembarked on Voeld. She recalled how he’d smiled shyly at her praise and thanks.

She wondered how long it would be until she saw that smile again. Sara knew he was resilient, he had to be, his people had been fighting the kett for his entire life. Still, she wondered how long it would take to recover from the abomination they had witnessed.

He had fallen to his knees in despair and wept at the horror of what they had witnessed; wept for all the angara they’d lost, all the angara _he had killed_. Sara had wanted so badly to hug him, to soothe his aching heart in whatever way she could. All she could provide was a comforting hand and a kind word, because despite the atrocity -- they had a mission.

The discovery of what the kett were doing to the angara had infuriated her, had made her chest constrict in anguish; she could only imagine how much worse it was for Jaal, for all the angara. It was still happening out there, perhaps not in that specific horror palace, but who knew how many others existed. They had been able to save some lives, at least; though the thought did little to help the sorrow she felt.

Sara felt the pain of this deeply; something about this perversion of science filled her with grief and rage. She knew from experience that this would pass, she had survived heartache many times before, but for the moment she wasn’t sure of what to do.

Her father would tell her to use the anger and sadness she was feeling, to channel it into defeating the kett -- and he would be right. As long as the kett were present in Andromeda, the Initiative would not be able to settle -- to live -- peacefully, amongst the angara.

Her thoughts drifted back to Jaal; they had spoken briefly with the Moshae, but she hadn’t seen him since. She wanted to seek him out, perhaps for her own comfort as much as his. Sara had come to the conclusion that she genuinely liked him. She’d initially thought that it was simply because he was angaran, someone new and different. She now realized that it was only Jaal’s voice that made her knees weak, Jaal’s eyes that she fell into whenever she looked at them -- as if something ethereal was pulling her in.

Sara exhaled sharply, her emotions were running rampant after what they’d experienced. She would need to revisit that particular topic at a later time, right now she needed to be a good friend and ensure he was okay.

The door of the tech lab closed behind her as she approached Jaal; he was hunched over near the his bedding. “Jaal..?” She said softly.

“Thank you, for checking, but I’m… alright.” Jaal replied, his voice thick with emotion.

“Don’t know if I would be.” Sara admitted.

“I have to be. How else do we go on?” He stood to face her, his eyes reflecting sadness of his heart. “You know?”

Sara nodded in silent agreement. “I may seem tough, but I have a good shoulder. I.. just want you to know that I’m here, if you need me.”

“That’s kind. You’re… kind.” He looked down dejectedly. “I really miss my family at times like these. Are you close to your family?” He asked.

“I was -- am. My mom and dad are dead. My brother is in a medically induced coma. I’m kind of an orphan at the moment.” Sara confided, her heart aching at the thought of her family.

“I’m sorry.” Jaal replied, the empathy in his eyes making her chest twinge.

“Yeah well,” her voice hitched, “this random collection of Tempest oddballs can feel like family sometimes.”

“Yeah” He breathed. “I never really felt I had a purpose, but here, I do.”

“What about the Resistance?” Sara asked, though his words warmed her heart. He was a valuable part of the team and she was happy to hear that he felt as though he belonged.

“My place in the Resistance is… not what I’d like.” Jaal confided. “ _You_ are going to do something important, Ryder. I feel it. This is where I should be.”

Sara smiled sweetly at him. “I’m glad you feel that way, Jaal. I like… having you around. Specifically you.” She confessed.

“Because of my skill and knowledge?” He asked.

“Those are good too, but that wasn’t really what I meant.” She could feel the heat beginning to rise to her face; her hand nervously rearranging her bangs.

“Because you enjoy spending time with me, as much I do with you?” Jaal professed.

Her heart fluttered pleasantly, “You do?”

“Yes. You’re fascinating. And special. And… strange.” He said, with a ghost of a smile.

She chuckled gently. “Thanks.” Sara met his gaze so that he could see her sincerity. “I think you’re interesting and... charming. I’m really pleased you’re here, Jaal.”

He was on her before she had a chance to react, holding her in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Ryder.” He whispered.

Sara put her arms around his waist happily; if a hug was what he needed, she was perfectly willing to provide. “Do angara hug a lot?” She asked.

He released her, suddenly looking nervous. “I am sorry, I -- yes we do -- I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.”

She gave him an amused smile. “You didn’t. Human friends hug too.”

“Oh good. Yes. Friends.” He said the word as though trying it out. “Can you… stay and talk some more?” He requested.

“Of course. What did you want to talk about?” Sara asked.

Jaal grabbed two chairs for them to sit on, patting the empty one in front of him. “Anything to keep my mind off…” He paused with a pained look. “Tell me about your family?”

Sara smiled sadly at him, “Sure. My family is small, especially by angaran standards. My brother Scott and I grew up on the Citadel with our parents, but we did have our grandparents back on Earth.”

“What is, the Citadel? My translator seems to have faltered.” Jaal asked.

“The Citadel is a massive space station that housed the seat of government for the Milky Way.” Sara explained. “I’ll take you to the Nexus soon. Its design was inspired by the Citadel, though it is much smaller. Oh, the Nexus has a Cultural Center!” She recalled. “You might find it interesting.”

Jaal nodded in agreement, “I believe I would. As I mentioned, your Nexus info packets were lacking. I would like to learn more about the Initiative species.”

“Well, I may not have all of the information the Cultural Center does, but I’ll happily try to answer any questions you might have.” Sara offered. “You don’t even have to get naked for me.” She quipped, thinking of the ‘cultural exchange’ she’d witnessed between him and Liam.

Jaal chuckled at that. “No… at least, not right now. I would rather learn more about you, specifically.” Jaal said, urging her to continue.

She felt a warmth spread through her core at his words. “Well, my dad was assigned as a military attaché on the Citadel, after Scott and I were born. It was a good place for my mom to work too, since all sorts of interspecies and interdisciplinary research went on there.” Sara explained.

“You mentioned your mother was a biotic implants researcher. Cora explained a little about biotics, but I am still unclear about the implants.” Jaal inquired.

“The implants work on neuro-electrical impulses to help amplify and control our biotic abilities. They are interfaced beneath the cerebellum, into our nervous system. I’m lucky in that regard, I think. The surgery can be risky, but mom knew all the best people in the field.” Sara explained.

“It certainly seems dangerous. When did you receive your implant?” He asked.

“People get them at all different ages, depending on when their biotics manifest, but it’s most common to get the surgery during puberty -- most biotics keep the same implant for the rest of their lives. I got my L3 implant when I was 10. Those were the third generation of human biotic implants.” She clarified.

“Mmm, training for you seems to start much later than it does for us. Our bioelectricity is honed from a very young age, just as we are taught to speak or feed ourselves. Though I suppose our access to that education is made simpler by the fact that we _all_ share the ability, unlike with your biotics.” Jaal commented.

“Yeah, human biotics were scary to a lot of people back in the Milky Way. It was something new and there was big learning curve in the beginning. I heard a lot of fucked up stories about some of the older human biotics.” She said, shaking her head woefully.

“Anyway, mom’s contribution to the Initiative -- or really just the human Pathfinder team -- was an innovative implant that was interconnected with SAM, more powerful too. I got my L3 replaced just a few months before she passed.” Sara recalled painfully. “The surgery was dangerous, but I never worried, because I knew she’d be in the operating room the whole time. It’s amazing, the sense of calm family can give.” She smiled sadly.

“Yes. Family makes us stronger. They give us resilience when we need it.” He agreed.

“Tell me about your family, Jaal. You seem really close to them.” Sara asked curiously.

“I am, it is part of our culture. It will… take time to tell you about them. We should get drinks and snacks” He joked, with an amused chuckle.

She giggled softly, “Are there really that many of them?”

“My family is large, I have one true mother, Sahuna, and more than five additional mothers. I have eight brothers and sisters, and about 4 times as many cousins, all raised together.”

She cringed slightly, letting out a small laugh, “You were not kidding, that’s a lot of family. I can’t even imagine. I don’t think I could have handled more than one of Scott, but I can’t fathom a life without my little brother.”

“So you are the elder sibling?” Jaal noted.

“We’re twins, actually. I was born a minute ahead of him though, so technically, I’m older.” She claimed with a smile.

“Hmm, I am younger than half of my siblings, and older than the other half, so I suppose am technically the middle child.” He commented.

“So tell about them, your brothers and sisters. Which ones got you in trouble? Which ones took the fall when you did something wrong? Who did you have to rescue the first time they drank too much tavum?” She asked with a chuckle.

Jaal laughed in return, “This really will take a while…” he warned.

“I’ve got time.” Sara assured him, happy to be the shoulder he needed in that moment; a way to let life feel normal, if only for a short while.

 

* * *

 

Sara was cold; not -- I may as well be going to back into cryo because I am literally freezing -- cold, but definitely enough that she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself in a mountain of blankets. Jaal, meanwhile, stood next to her seemingly unaffected; looking through the scope of his sniper rifle every few minutes.

They were next to a heat lamp, which helped, but her extremities were aching already. How she had gotten herself into this, she wasn’t quite sure. That was lie though, Sara knew exactly what she had done to put herself in this situation; standing outside of Techiix in the dead of night while it was absolutely frigid.

She and Jaal had convinced Orev, the sniper who had occupied their current position, to go join the Resistance. Eska, the steward of Techiix, had informed them that she now had no sniper coverage for that night. She _suggested_ that since Sara and Jaal were the cause of said lack of coverage, they should remedy the situation, while she found a replacement.

They had agreed, of course, because how could they not. It _had_ been their fault that Orev had run off immediately to speak with his family. They were both proficient snipers and they would be a convenient, temporary solution. Still, it was cold and she wanted a blanket -- or five, Sara thought bitterly.

“Jaal, this scope is amazing. Thanks again, for putting it together for me.” Sara commented, monitoring the horizon through it.

“It was my pleasure, Ryder. It was interesting to get my hands on human technology, even if it was outdated. I am glad my modifications have been useful.” Jaal replied, his voice low and calm in the late hour.

Sara sighed gently, there was something about his voice when it hit that deep baritone that made her insides melt. “It is an absolute delight.” She murmured happily, knowing she was referring to more than just the scope.

She glanced over at him to see a small smile on his lips, making her smile in turn. “It’s beautiful out here.” Sara whispered softly, turning her gaze toward the sky. It was night time, though the sun could never really be seen; the ice on the ground and rings surrounding Voeld seemed to be reflecting off each other, both glimmering beautifully in the relative darkness.

Sara felt his eyes on her, but kept her gaze on the stars. “It is… beautiful.” He agreed. “In a way that something so dangerous has no right to be.”

She hummed her concurrence; Voeld may have been uncomfortably cold, but _stars_ it was gorgeous. She tore her eyes from the sky to scan the horizon again, thankfully they’d seen no kett so far; Orev had mentioned that the Resistance kept most from getting through.

Sara looked out over the frozen lake, she could see the yevara glowing beneath the ice; so many of fauna and flora of Heleus had developed bioluminescence. The researchers had shown her audio recordings of the yevara, even through the atmospheric static, they were hauntingly beautiful. They reminded her of whale songs she’d heard as a kid, when she and Scott had visited a marine life center on Earth with their parents. She sighed heavily at the thought; she couldn’t make hunting down the poachers a priority, but she definitely wanted to look into it.

“Is something the matter, Ryder?” Jaal asked, his voice sedate, but curious.

“Mmm, I was thinking about the yevara.” She looked at him, noting how his skin looked almost pink from the light of the heat lamp. “Tell me about them?” Sara pleaded gently.

“Nearly all our traditional stories were lost in the Scourge. Except for tales of the yevara on Voeld.” There was reverence in his tone. “How they sang from the oceans and lured the sun out of hiding. How in ancient times, they guided angara ships to safe shores.”

Sara could see her breathe condense as she exhaled, the mist disappearing in the breeze. “That’s beautiful, Jaal.” She awed.

“The yevara are intelligent, amazing creatures.” He said, unable to keep the emotion from his voice.

Sara sighed sadly. “And they’re being slaughtered.” She paused, carefully considering her words. “I want to go after the poachers Jaal, but right now we need to focus on the kett. That base needs to be destroyed and with Buxil’s help, we’re _going_ to do it.” She declared, feeling the need to explain herself to him.

He gave her a curious look. “I know, Ryder. There is always more work to be done, that is what the Resistance faces every day.”

Sara’s eyes swept over the horizon again. “There is so much help our team could provide, so much to be done here, but I have to look at the bigger picture.” She said woefully, more to herself than to him.

She glanced at him again to find him looking at her, “We’ll be back. We’ll find those poachers and stop them. I promise.” She pledged, her hand reaching to grip his arm in reassurance, knowing it was for her sake, as much as his.

“Thank you, Sara.” He said, giving her a grateful smile and grasping her arm in return.

She exhaled slowly, her mind filled with the echo of her name on his lips. It was the first time he’d used it and it was as if she were learning her name anew. The sultry way he rolled the ‘r’, was enough to bring warmth to her belly, even in this frigid climate.

 

* * *

 

The inside of Aya’s city was even more lovely than she remembered, or perhaps it was because she could walk freely now, interacting as she pleased. She took her time walking through the market, enjoying the sights, scents, and sounds; stopping occasionally just to watch the angara interact with each other.

They were a fascinating people, and she would argue that they weren’t that different from her own people in many ways. They were very talkative -- she had observed arguments, discussions, small talk, and even an unheard couple whispering intimately to each other. There was a little more public touching than she was used to, despite the fact that she often used physical touch for communication; perhaps it had something to do with their bioelectricity.

She spotted Jaal standing apart from the crowds, looking out over the railing, to the rolling hills and peaceful lakes of Aya. The gentle breeze made his rofjinn sway softly around him, making him seem so still and tranquil by comparison. He must have finished the mission report he’d gone off to work on after they’d spoken to Evfra.

Her heart had stopped momentarily at Evfra’s words -- _report for reassignment_. After everything they had already been through together, it hadn’t even occurred to her that Jaal would have to leave, now that their intended joint mission was completed. He was part of the team, part of their little Tempest family -- and more importantly, she had grown close to him, learned to trust him and lean on him. Their synergy out on the field was beyond comparison; she trusted her entire team, knew they were all talented, but she and Jaal just worked on the same wavelength.

She’d been relieved that Jaal had immediately responded to Evfra’s request with _‘I need to stay with the Pathfinder’_. She had supported his statement without hesitation, informing the Resistance leader that his lieutenant had already become a valued member of her crew. Thankfully, Evfra had seen the benefit in their statements -- though he’d called them requests -- and he conceded to let Jaal stay on the Tempest.

Sara approached Jaal, coming to stand at the railing beside him, she admired the view below; Aya was truly a haven. She took a deep breath of the fresh, mountainous air, closing her eyes briefly to enjoy the fragrances in the wind; she could distinctly make out the rich scent that defined Jaal.

“Well, what do you think?” She heard him ask beside her. Sara opened her eyes to find that he had edged closer to her; he was now within the confines of her bubble, their arms nearly brushing together. He had been doing that more often, she realized; coming into her space, touching and hugging. She was glad, angara seemed to communicate that way, their body language conveying their feelings as much as their words. With Jaal, it felt comfortable -- appropriate, even -- and it probably meant he trusted her, or at least saw her as less of an alien.

Sara’s teeth grabbed at her lower lip, releasing it slowly as her mind relished in the timbre of his voice. Her eyes roamed over the landscape before them. “I could get used to this.” She murmured serenely.

“You can see why we take turns living here.” He commented.

“Yeah, it’s magnificent.” She turned her gaze on him, taking in the details of his face, the calm of his posture. “You’re relaxed here… there’s a sparkle in your eyes.” She observed, her voice low and filled with admiration.

“I am. Thank you. It’s... nice of you to notice.” Jaal responded, giving her a kind smile.

Sara focused her attention on the scenic countryside to keep from blushing. “I like to notice. In fact, it’s difficult not to. You are… fascinating, Jaal.”

“As are you, Sara…” He murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The information on the ME:A wiki differs from the information given in the game in some aspects of the twins' early life. I went with what felt like the right head-canon for me. Born on Earth (as Ryder states in-game) and raised on the Citadel. No grandparents are ever mentioned, but I decided to add them in, because I felt it helped to justify trips to Earth. Also, I have not found any mention of what type of implant Ryder has, but I assumed an L3 because of the timeline of implants.
> 
> For clarity's sake, the Voeld scene occurs while the Moshae is safely recovering on the Tempest. My Sara decided that Voeld needed a little cleaning up, while the Moshae got her strength back. More importantly, because this is entirely from Sara's point of view, this chapter has some attempts at showing that Jaal's feelings for her are changing/developing. I hope that came through in the writing.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has left kudos, subscribed, or bookmarked. It's really nice to see and it helps keep me inspired. I hope you're enjoying the show. I'll update again soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaal and Sara get to know each other a little better and start to build a little intimacy.

Sara had come to the tech lab seeking Jaal’s company, something she found herself doing with increasing frequency. The tool he had been holding clanked loudly against the metal floor, when she'd startled him. She had apparently walked in on him working on gifts for the entire crew; he was filled with a jittery, nervous demeanor that seemed wholly unlike him.

He had approached her to pull her in for a brief hug, which she’d happily returned -- stars he smelled good. Jaal proceeded to tell her about his gift ideas for the crew, while she provided dubious advice and tried her best not to laugh. It was adorable and sweet, but there was obviously something up.

She placed her hands on his biceps, meeting his eyes directly, in an effort to stop his rambling. “Jaal, you’re very kind, but this is a lot of work. What is this really about?” She asked gently.

He deflated, his worry showing on his face. “I’m sure that I seem confident and skilled to you, but I’m not. Or, I don’t feel like I am.” He admitted.

“Oh Jaal.” She slipped her arms around his waist, giving him a comforting hug. “That’s really common. I feel that way sometimes… a lot, actually.” She pulled away from him to meet his eyes again.“If it counts for anything, I think you’re great.” She added with a crooked smile.

He chuckled nervously, “That’s… so…”

“It’s true.” Sara stated, a little part of her enjoying the fact that he was so clearly flustered.

He cleared his throat. “You’re… making me blush.”

“I can’t tell.” She lied, giving him a reprieve, though the blueish tinge on his face was evident.

“My family is well-known. Our lineage is respected. And many of my kin have achieved great things.” He told her, explaining the root of his anxiety. “I’ve… never been one of them. So many older siblings and cousins who succeeded at everything. I stopped trying to… keep up.”

“Jaal, you _are_ one of them. Look at everything you’ve achieved as part of the Resistance. You rose through the ranks and gained Evfra’s trust within a few years of joining. From what you’ve told me, you’ve had plenty of successful missions.” She insisted, understanding his feelings of inadequacy, but knowing that he was very capable.

“Yes, but my family’s name carries weight within the Resistance. It… carried me.” He explained, giving her a crestfallen look.

Sara gave him an indulgent smile. “Okay, then focus on everything you’ve accomplished here, with us. You joined up with a bunch of aliens to heal planets, destroy kett facilities, rescue the Moshae.” She paused, trying to find the words to ease his worry. “Your family’s name has no significance here. You’re the only Ama Darav I know, and if I haven’t made it clear, I think you’re extremely impressive.”

He looked pensive, as though contemplating her words. “You are right, I am… proud, to be part of this team. There are still many things I want to achieve, however.”

“And you will. You’re not in anyone’s shadow here. I believe in you.” She told him sincerely, gripping his hand in reassurance.

He squeezed her hand in return. “Thank you, for listening.”

 

* * *

  

Sara read the email for the third time. _Dearest_ , he’d called her, asking if it was too strong a word when two people were fond of each other. She was certainly fond of him, and it appeared he felt the similarly. _Dearest_ though, that was intense -- but in truth it thrilled her.

Her rational mind told her she shouldn’t read too much into it, as he’d mentioned, there may have been a difference in the meaning of the word that direct translation couldn’t account for. He enjoyed her -- there was no faulty translation there -- that was a simple concept.

Sara searched her own feelings, thinking of the moments they had spent together, out on missions and in the instances they found themselves in private. They had gotten to know each other, flirted, laughed, shared in each others pain; yes, she had enjoyed those moments -- cherished them.

There was more than enjoyment of her company is his words, he’d declared his adoration for her strength, courage, and beauty. Her heart had fluttered wildly when she’d first read the words and did so again as her eyes focused on each one, reveling in them.

She imagined him saying them to her, the thought alone making her skin prickle with delight; her mind creating the scene, him close -- embracing her -- his smoky voice whispering the words in her ear. She wondered if angara kissed, she sincerely hope so.

Sara shook herself of the fantasy, bringing her attention back to the email. She needed to respond and move on with her day, there was a lot she wanted to accomplish before they reached the Nexus.

 _Jaal_ , she began -- no -- _Dearest Jaal,_

_Thank you for your lovely words. Don’t worry that you’ve been made me uncomfortable, quite the opposite, in fact. You are free with your emotions and eloquent in your writing. I may be less so, but I hope my sentiment will be clear._

_Spending time with you brings me joy. I find you wonderful in every sense of the word. It has been a delight getting to know you, to transition from Pathfinder to friend. I hope our relationship continues to flourish._

_Sincerely,_

_Sara_

She sent it off to Jaal before she could second-guess herself. It was fine, she’d been clear without getting overly intimate, at least she hoped.

Sara made her way over to the couch, picking up the datapad she’d loaded with the angaran physiology books the doctor on Aya had provided. If she was going to take this infatuation of hers seriously, she had some reading to do.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived at the Nexus, she’d made a beeline for the Hyperion’s medbay, as she often did. She spotted Dr. Carlyle and waved, waiting by her brother’s bedside until he came over.

“Hi Harry, how is he doing?” Sara asked the doctor.

“Hello Sara.” He smiled sadly at her. “Still no change. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but at least he’s stable.”

She replied calmly, “I know, these things are unpredictable.” Despite her mind screaming -- _but it’s been months._

He gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder, “I’ll let you have some privacy with him.”

Sara pulled up a chair to sit beside the bed where her brother lay prone. She sighed heavily, rubbing the tension from her temples before grasping Scott’s hand.

“Hey baby brother.” She whispered with a smile. “Sorry I’ve been away for so long. We made a second First Contact. Can you believe it? This one was way better. I even got a new crewmate out of it.”

She rubbed his hand soothingly. “They’re called angara. You’ll find out all about them when you wake up, but they’re mostly really nice. Jaal especially, he’s the one who joined my squad.” She paused. “You’d like him, he’s a hell of a sniper.”

“They have this _beautiful_ planet called Aya. You’re going to love it. There are waterfalls everywhere.” She sighed. “They’ve been through some shit though, Scott. The angara… they’ve suffered so much. The things the kett do to them.” She stopped, feeling her throat constrict slightly.

She took a steadying breath. “We’re going to help them. We’re going to fix this place, for all of us. Just wake up soon, or you’ll miss all the action.” She squeezed his hand lovingly.

She missed the sound of his voice, his laughter, his constant sarcastic humor. Her twin had always been her best friend, her confidant; even when they drove each other crazy, it was never long before they were laughing together again. “I’ll be back soon” She promised, dropping a kiss on his forehead as she rose from the chair.

 

* * *

  

She stood at the balcony outside the science lab, after a meeting with Dr. Aridana. She felt as though she’d been running around the Nexus all day. Everyone needed something from _the Pathfinder_ , and Sara obliged. She felt like a politician, listening to suggestions and complaints, settling disputes, and making decisions that probably should not have fallen to her.

She wasn’t a politician though, she was a soldier and a scientist. She was a Pathfinder too though, and she supposed it did require a bit of politicking. The title felt easier to carry every day, as though it was slowly becoming a part of her identity. It came with responsibilities she’d never really thought she would have, but it wasn’t a burden; she found she liked the leadership role she’d been forced into. Perhaps her father had known that, when he’d made her Pathfinder; perhaps he’d been training her for it all along.

Sara sighed, she was weary, mentally at least, which was nearly worse than the physical fatigue after a mission. She glanced at the door to the Cultural Center, she hadn’t actually been in yet, but maybe watching some vids from Earth would be a good way to relax for a little while.

The escape Sara sought was halted by the asari in charge of the Cultural Center. The liaison greeted her and explained the purpose of the Cultural Center. Unsurprisingly, the welcome was followed by a request to please reset the Pathfinder VI, because who better to do it than their only Pathfinder.

Thankfully the process was relatively quick and simple; Sara completed the setup for the Pathfinder exhibit, and turned to find Jaal watching her from nearby.

“Ryder!” He exclaimed loudly as she came closer. “Thank you for arranging my access to the Cultural Center.” He made a pleased noise with his throat. “There is so much to study here. It would take a lifetime!”

His exuberance made Sara smile, it was nice to see him excited. “Depends on whose lifetime” she quipped, earning a chuckle from him.”I’d enjoy _that_. All the reading -- history, science, culture. Get some snacks, settle into that corner over there.” She added, indulging in the impossible daydream.

He chuckled again. “We will have to get you some angaran texts. And the corner will need some cushions to make it more comfortable. I’ll bring my own snacks though, your food is a bit… bland.” He said playfully, including himself in her little fantasy.

She giggled and flashed him a coquettish smile. “It’ll be great, we’ll learn about our respective cultures and have the benefit of each other’s company for a more… hands-on experience.”

“That sounds like a good way to spend a lifetime or two.” Jaal answered with a crooked smile. “Hmm, on second thought, I’ll use my time here to study the asari first. No offense, but humans will have to wait.”

Sara laughed, “Hey, asari have much longer lifespans! That’ll take ages. Humans are the better choice.” She argued.

“Perhaps, but _you_ are human, and the idea of learning -- what did you call it -- _hands-on_  with you, sounds much more interesting.” He replied suggestively, though the tone of his voice was playful.

Sara felt herself blushing, the heat quickly rising to her cheeks. “Well, they might kick us out of the Cultural Center for that.” She replied with a laugh, nervously tucking her bangs behind her ear.

“Another time, then.” He replied with a throaty chuckle.

 _Oh_ \- was all Sara’s mind could come up with. She tried to process what she had gotten herself into, her mind scrambling to think of a response.

“Pathfinder, Captain Dunn has sent an urgent message concerning a situation that requires your immediate attention.” SAM informed from her omni-tool, saving Sara from her inability to flirt.

“Okay, thanks SAM.” Sara cleared her throat, forcing herself to meet Jaal’s gaze. “Right, I’ll... see you later.” She waved awkwardly, cringing at herself as she left the Cultural Center.

 

* * *

  

The crew had spent a couple of days on the Nexus; restocking, refueling, and resting. Sara certainly hadn’t gotten any rest, her days had been filled with more odd tasks than she wanted to consider. They were on their way to Kadara now, at least; Jaal had received word from Evfra that Shena had a lead on Vehn Terev.

She was currently -- finally --  relaxing, curled up on her couch with a collection of datapads. She had accomplished quite a bit of reading on angaran physiology, learning how to patch Jaal up in the field had been her priority, but now she was poring over the details of their bioelectricity.

It was amazing, the things they could do with it. Jaal had mentioned their skills were honed from a young age, but she’d had no idea how precise their control of it could be. It was kind of like her biotics, finely tuned to the point of hairsplitting -- nothing like the raw and immense power of Cora or Scott.

The angara’s uses for their bioelectricity were fascinating. Unlike biotics, which were primarily used in combat, the angara used their ability for more than just fighting. As Sara had suspected from what she’d seen on Aya, they used it for communication, hence the minute touches that seemed common among them. Surprisingly, they also seemed to use it for art -- she wondered what that would look like.

The door to her quarters opened, belatedly she remembered she hadn’t locked it or asked SAM to. She looked up to see Jaal standing in the doorway, a curious smile on his lips. Sara tossed the datapad aside as though it had burned her.

“You look… comfortable.” He said as a greeting.

She looked down reflexively, noting that she was wearing a tank top and shorts, her bare, tanned legs stretched out on the couch. “I am.’ She replied with a small smile, “What’s up Jaal?”

“Do you have some time? I have a question -- more of a request, really.” He asked, suddenly looking uneasy.

Sara’s brow furrowed, “Of course, come on in.” She tucked her legs in under her and patted the couch, gesturing at him to come join her.

“Everything alright?’ She asked worriedly as he sat next to her; there was a nervous energy about him that seemed out of place.

“Yes. Yes, I simply wanted to ask...” He paused, making a sound of consideration in his throat. “The other day, in the Cultural Center...” He paused again, regarding her as though awaiting her confirmation.

Her cheeks heated, recalling their flirtations. “Mhmm.” Was all she managed in acknowledgement.

“You suggested a hands-on approach… and I wondered.” He paused again, taking a breath.

Her mind was racing, she was filled with a sense of trepidation and excitement, wondering what he was going to ask. She still hadn’t asked if angara kissed -- maybe he wanted to know what breasts felt like -- or looked like --  oh stars, she had seen him naked -- what if he wanted her to reciprocate.

“May I… touch your hair?” He asked.

Sara tried not laugh, but was wholly unsuccessful in the attempt. The request was so innocent by comparison, she couldn’t help but laugh at how outlandish her train of thought had been. Jaal looked slightly wounded, his eyes wide and glossy.

“Oh, I’m sorry Jaal” She put her hand on his arm, trying to get her giggling under control. “Of course you can touch my hair. I’m not laughing at you, I promise. It’s just… oh nevermind. Here.”

She pulled the band from her ponytail, letting her hair fall free; it was longer than she normally wore it, she realized, but she hadn’t exactly had a chance to get a haircut recently. Sara grabbed her brown locks, bringing them forward over her shoulder.

Jaal looked surprised “I did not know it did that. Why is it different?”

Sara smiled sweetly at him. “I put it in a ponytail to keep it out of the way. It would be a nuisance in combat, so it’s just habit now. Take your gloves off?” She suggested.

He did so, but set his hand on his lap when he was done, staring at her hair all the while. She took the initiative, using both of her hands to grab one of his -- they were so much bigger than hers. “May I?” She asked.

Jaal nodded, making a sound of affirmation in his throat. She guided his hand past her neck, toward the back of her head, and then gently through the curtain of her hair -- it felt nice, almost intimate.

“It is so soft. I’ve never felt anything like it” He awed.

“Mmhm, it’s made up of individual strands of keratin and…” She stopped herself and laughed. “Sorry. You didn’t come for a lesson on the chemical structure of hair. Have at it.” She encouraged, releasing his hand.

His chuckled at her, his hand was still in her hair, exploring the strands with his fingertips. Sara found herself entranced by his curious exploration, she stared at his face, noting every twitch of his mouth and contraction of his brow.

“Do you feel it? Does it hurt?” He asked softly, twirling a strand around his finger. “It’s so pliable.”

“I can feel it yes, particularly closer to my scalp. It doesn't hurt though, at least not like this. It feels really nice actually.” She admitted, enjoying the feeling of his hand caressing her tresses.

“But it can hurt?” He inquired, continuing his exploration.

“Mmhmm. It can. If you were to pull on it really roughly, it would be a little painful. Soft pulling can be enjoyable under some circumstances though.” She rambled, he was practically massaging her head and it was so relaxing.

He made a curious noise. “When would that apply?”

Her eyes snapped opened -- she hadn’t even realized she’d closed them. She felt the blush return to her cheeks. “In… intimate situations, mostly.”

“Oh.” He said, pulling his hand away from her hair. “Thank you, Sara. For indulging my request. Hair is strange, but fascinating… and so very soft.”

“I have a request of my own, if you would permit it.” Sara told him nervously, getting the words out before she lost her nerve. “May I touch your techaan?”

He looked momentarily taken aback, but quickly offered her a smile. “Peebee referred to them as ‘neck flaps’ when she asked.” He said with a chuckle.

Sara licked her lower lip anxiously, she had read a little about the pretty blue skin within the grooves of Jaal’s head and neck. She’d learned that they were part of the biological system that assisted in the conductivity of their bioelectricity.

She laughed nervously. “That’s Peebee for you.”

He made a sound of agreement. “I refused her. It was... too personal a request.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry Jaal. I didn’t mean to --”

“The same does not apply to you, Sara.” He interrupted. “You did let me touch your hair. If I understood Liam correctly, it implies a similar level of… intimacy.”

Sara shook her head. “No, don’t feel pressured into letting me just because I let you touch my hair -- wait, did you touch Liam’s hair?” She asked with a laugh.

Jaal chuckled in return. “Yes, though he asked me to show him how my bioelectricity works in return.” He paused, as if considering. “His hair was… very different from yours.”

“Yeah, it’s because of the angle and shape of the follicle…” She stopped herself again and gave him an abashed smile. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s endearing and fascinating, like so much about you.” He said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. How had known to -- he had probably seen her do it a hundred times, she supposed -- or maybe Liam was to blame. “Now, shall we?” He asked, taking her hand in his.

“Yeah” she murmured, letting him guide her hand toward his techaan. She smiled as her fingertips touched the soft skin, it felt thinner somehow, than the skin of his hands. He released her wrist, dropping his hand between them to lean in on it.

She followed the blue line as far as she could reach, enjoying the feel of the tiny ridges along the way. She brought her finger back slowly, caressing the skin in the opposite direction; it incited a happy sounding rumble from Jaal that resonated in his chest. His eyes slid shut and he tilted slightly toward her hand.

Sara smiled to herself, admiring the relaxed look on his face while she continued stroking his techaan softly. He was adorable and sweet, this wonderful angara whose trust she’d been lucky enough to earn.

“It kind of feels like… rose petals.” She realized out loud. Though her tone had been soft, it brought Jaal’s eyes open again.

“Rose petals? Some sort of flower?” He asked.

She nodded, pulling her hand back. “I’ll show you.” Sara offered.

She went to her bedside table, pulling out one of the few items she’d been able to bring from the Milky Way -- her favorite childhood story book.

The book was embossed with a beautiful red rose and its texture was akin to the feeling of rubbing a petal between fingertips. She settled in next to Jaal again, holding the book out for him to see. “That is a rose.” She said, tracing the lines of it. “The book is textured to emulate the petals.”

He touched it gingerly, as though afraid to damage it. He smiled, “Yes, I can feel the resemblance.”

“Yeah, it’s a little different, but familiar.” Sara added, smiling in return.

“Did you bring this from the Milky Way?” Jaal inquired.

“I did.” She answered, caressing the edges of the book. “It’s a very old children’s fairytale, but I still love it. My mother used to read it to me when I was little.”

“Will you... read it to me?” He asked.

Sara blushed at the thought of reading the story to him, it was embarrassing somehow, but it was sweet that he wanted her to share it with him. “Sure, if you’d like me to.”

He nodded, urging her on. She scooched closer to him so that their thighs were pressing together, making the perfect nest for the book. A thought struck her as she opened it -- the book was in its original language and his translator might not work.

“Actually, I don’t know if I can. You may not understand it, it’s in a different language than I normally speak.” She said disappointedly.

“Our translator is very sophisticated, it has a library based on every single encounter with your people.” He said, placing his arm around her shoulder, his fingers toying with the tips of her hair. “Even if it does not translate… you can explain it to me.”

Sara blushed, realizing that this was less about the book and more about their time together. “Okay, we’ll give it a shot.” She conceded. “Il y avait une fois…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously "techaan" is entirely made up, but I found no reference as to what they're actually called. They're part of angaran anatomy though, and I figured they wouldn't just called them "neck flaps".
> 
> Things are starting to get comfortable between these two. The next chapter will likely bump this up to an M rating. Exciting!
> 
> Thanks you for the wonderful comments! They brought me joy and encouragement. Thank you as well for all the kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions. It's heartening to see people enjoying the fic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody likes Kadara, but Aya is lovely.

Sara Ryder was seething. Today was simply not a good day. Drack was cheering happily in the back of the Nomad while Vetra chuckled at him, hooting along occasionally; Sara was focused on speeding through Kadara’s Badlands as fast as the Nomad could take them. She was desperate to get back to the Tempest. Jaal had been right, this planet was a shithole -- even the water wanted to kill them.

In truth, it was mostly the people that had her on edge; some of Kadara’s residents had really just been caught up in the rebellion, tossed off the Nexus for wanting to start their lives, but _others_ were legitimate scum. All the bad things about society back in the Milky Way, brought here and condensed into this wretched planet. Jaal had said as much, _many_ times over, though he’d spoken poorly of the angara that inhabited Kadara as well.

Sara gnashed her teeth at the thought of Jaal; she was probably angrier at herself than she was at him. She had overreacted, she knew, but he had simply said the wrong thing at the wrong time. She had already been livid after having to deal with Sloan Kelly, the woman was absolutely vile; she may have started as a _defender_ of the disenfranchised, but had quickly transformed into a power-hungry dictator -- providing protection only to those who could afford it. Sara had dealt with Vehn Terev too, she’d even listened -- her curiosity getting the better of her -- to his reasons for betraying his people. Sara _almost_ felt a little sorry for him, the kett had manipulated him, but at the end of the day, he’d made his own choice. Reyes too, had ground away at her patience with all his flirting and his bad boy attitude. He’d tossed his arm around her shoulder in a forgery of camaraderie that they did not share and made insinuations about her sex life, or more specifically lack thereof -- ‘ _Lighten up there, doll. If you need a good lay, all you have to do is ask.'_

By the time Jaal had derisively asked if going back to the Tempest was an option, she’d been at the end of her rope. Sara wasn’t the type to yell, thankfully, though she wasn’t sure what she’d done was any better. ‘ _Go’_ , she’d practically growled at him. Without giving him a moment to respond, she’d called Drack over comms, telling him to rendezvous with her. She had dismissed Jaal entirely, without so much as looking at him.

Sara wanted to punch something; it was a feeling she’d had since they had landed on Kadara, maybe she was allergic to this wasteland, she thought with a humorless scoff.

At least they had accomplished what they had set out to do. They’d found the kett transponder that Vehn Terev had been receiving instructions from, she only hoped they could get something off of it -- the damn thing was damaged. She knew they would have to return to Kadara eventually, but for now she wanted nothing more than to put several light years between herself and the miserable planet.

\---------

She felt relieved once she was back on the Tempest, the smell of sulfur no longer hanging like a cloud around her. Though the relief only lasted until she felt guilt gnawing at her, knowing she had treated her friend unkindly. She scoffed at herself, ‘friend’ was putting it lightly, she knew her feelings for Jaal were certainly more than _just friendly_ , but how to define their relationship exactly... she wasn’t sure.

She sighed heavily, she needed a shower to scrub Kadara off of her, it would give her time to gather her thoughts on the situation. She took the kett transponder to Gil first, so that he and SAM could begin working on extracting what they could.

The Tempest wasn’t scheduled to depart for another hour, and it appeared that many of the crew were still in Kadara Port. She would likely have the showers all to herself, though that tended to be the case regardless; aside from Cora, who simply rose at the same early hour that Sara did, she had never run into anyone else in the showers. Except Peebee, she recalled as she stripped down, but that had only been once and she was fairly certain the asari had been staking her out to get a peek.

The water felt wonderful against her tense muscles, Sara rubbed her neck to ease the tightness she felt there. Her hands crept up into her hair, massaging it to let the water seep in. Her thoughts drifted to the evening she and Jaal had spent together in her room a few days prior, recalling the feeling of his fingers twining through her hair.

At the time it had been innocent and sweet, but somehow evoking the memory gave her an entirely different sensation -- heat spread through her. She liked his hands -- large and strong -- and so tender when he touched her; he’d gently squeezed her bare shoulder when the story had gotten intense or emotional. His thumb had caressed the line of her jaw when they had hugged at the end of the evening -- his hand buried in her hair -- for a moment she had sworn he was going to kiss her. Instead he’d pulled away, saying _‘Good night, Sara. Stay strong and clear.’_ in a low, affectionate tone that made her insides do cartwheels.

Her own hands were drifting, they were slick with soap, gliding over her body. Her eyes fluttered closed, her fingers pinching, stroking, caressing -- her mind ran wild with thoughts of Jaal’s hands doing the same. She could hear his voice, deep and sultry -- whispering in her ear, telling her how he admired her beauty and her strength, confessing his desire to explore her until she came apart in his hands.

Sara bit her lip as her hands found the sweet nectar they sought; it had gathered like morning dew on flower petals, visions of Jaal floating behind her eyes. His hands traced the lines of her, learning what made her shiver in delight, dancing over her most intimate places, teasing until she wanted to beg for release. Her mind echoed his name -- _‘Jaal, please Jaal, yes Jaal’_ \-- as she neared the peak she was climbing; until she was falling, stars bursting behind her closed lids, legs shaking, a stifled moan through pursed lips.

_“Fuuuck,”_ she exhaled. Sara sighed happily as she caught her breath; she had absolutely needed that. Perhaps it was why her demeanor had been so out of the ordinary today, her body had simply needed the satisfaction she’d been denying it. She scrubbed her body clean, feeling the difference in muscle tension -- she was much more relaxed -- though the guilt she felt was still tight in her stomach.

Her thoughts drifted to Jaal again; she knew she found him attractive, she had known that for months. Their relationship had grown, however; despite the fondness she now felt for him -- or perhaps because of it -- the physical appeal he held for her had remained, maybe strengthened. Adding that raw attraction to their flirtations, their small intimacies, and the closeness they shared -- it was no wonder her body had been aching for gratification.

She rubbed conditioner into her hair, wondering what her course of action should be. She obviously needed to do something about this, but had no idea what. She had no experience dating an angara, didn’t even know if they dated, what their social norms for relationships were, -- she still hadn’t asked if angara kissed -- she wasn’t even sure if she wanted a relationship. She needed to go on a fact-finding mission, she was a trained recon specialist after all. She would gather the information she needed, all she had to do was ask the right questions -- but first, she needed to make amends.

 

* * *

 

It seemed everything had gone sideways after their trip to Kadara. Drack had called a meeting to explain the tension on Eladeen and thereafter practically everyone on the crew had come to her with a problem that needed fixing. Sara had taken it all in stride, this was her team -- her family -- she wanted to help them all. So she’d done what she always did when there was an overwhelming amount of work to do: she had made a list.

She had been cooped up in her quarters for hours, staring at the galaxy maps and all of her notes, but like every puzzle that crossed her path, she’d finally solved it. With SAM’s help, Sara had managed to plan out a course that was time-effective, urgency appropriate, and optimally efficient. She’d even left a little room for any potential, unforeseen problems that might sidetrack them; she knew they were always there, no matter how well-devised the plan.

Kallo had the first set of coordinates, and they were on their way; the time had come for her to face the music. She knew she needed to clear the air with Jaal, so she straightened her spine and made her way to the tech lab, hoping to find him there. Unfortunately, her angaran teammate was absent from his work-space. Sara went on to check the botany lab, the cargo bay, the storage room -- had they left him on Kadara, she worried momentarily, before remembering he’d been present at the meeting.

She walk into the crew quarters to find Jaal and Liam seated at the small table, they’d been speaking in hushed tones and had fallen suspiciously silent upon her entrance.

“Oh hey Ryder.” Liam greeted, failing miserably in his attempt to sound casual.

“Hey Kosta, sorry to interrupt you guys.” She replied, sensing she had walked in on a private conversation. Jaal remained silent, she noted.

Sara cleared her throat. “Jaal, will you please let me know when you have a few minutes to talk? Privately.” She asked awkwardly.

“Of course, I will come speak with you later, Pathfinder.” He answered with the same edge in his voice that he’d had on Kadara.

“Right. Thanks.” She said, before quickly retreating to her quarters.

Sara curled up on her couch, facing the passing stars. ‘ _Pathfinder’_ , he’d said. Not Ryder. Not Sara. Certainly not dearest. He knew how to cut at her when he wanted to. She could not believe that after months of building trust and friendship, she’d ruined it all in a moment.

She sighed in exasperation, unwilling to follow that thought; it was an exaggeration with no credence. She would apologize and she would fix it, however long it took. Sara forced herself to think logically about Jaal. He let his emotions be known with little restriction, he had never shown any vindictiveness toward anyone -- except maybe the kett. It seemed highly unlikely that her discourtesy would make him so furious that he would throw away the relationship they had built. He was obviously angry, she had been too -- she needed to stop panicking and just wait for him to come talk to her.

She needed to keep herself occupied until then, so that her brain would stop trying to run amok with disquieting thoughts. Yoga, would once again be her salvation; occupy the body and clear the mind. She quickly changed into her usual practice outfit and rolled out her mat, facing the stars.

They would be going into FTL soon, she could hear the thrumming of the drive core as it charged. The Tempest sped past beautifully colored clouds of nebulae, they swirled together, shimmering brightly as they passed. Sara focused on them as she went from pose to pose, losing herself in the beauty of space. Her reflection in the windows made it seem as though she were outside of herself, outside of everything; stretching, arching, aching, among the stardust.

She had just entered dwipāda viparita dandāsana, or what the asari called Janiri’s Serenity, when she heard the door to her quarters open.

“How do you _bend_ that way?” she heard Jaal say incredulously.

Sara lost her concentration, snorting an exhale in her attempt not to laugh. “Shit. Don’t make me laugh.” She said as she fell into a fit of giggles. “Oh no, I can’t…” Her laughter increased at the ridiculousness of the situation; try as she might she couldn’t lift herself back into a headstand because her abdominal muscles were otherwise occupied.

“Do you need assistance?” He asked, sounding worried.

Her back was beginning to ache, her core was still shaking with laughter and with the effort to keep herself up. “Yes… please.” She said through the unbidden giggles.

Jaal was beside her immediately, lifting her off the ground entirely, one arm under her back and the other beneath her thighs. “Are you alright?” He inquired, looking at her with an amused smile.

Sara wrapped one arm over his shoulder to steady herself and brought the other one to her face to hide her humiliation. “Yes. I’m okay. Thank you.” She said, her laughter now dying down to embarrassed chuckles.

“You… are a ridiculous woman.” He sighed, but there was no malice in his tone.

She giggled again, letting her hand drop away from her face. She opened her mouth to rebut -- it was quickly forgotten when she met his gaze. He was looking down at her so tenderly that she found herself lost in the cosmos of his eyes. Their breaths synced and mingled as they gravitated toward each other, pulsing as one. “Sara…” He rasped huskily.

“Jaal…” she breathed in return, captured by his presence; the essence that _was_ Jaal - blues and purples, fresh scent, rich tones. Sara caught herself, remembering why she’d asked him here. “Jaal.” She said with more conviction, and though it pained her -- “You can put me down, now.”

“Oh…” He seemed to come back to himself, setting her down on her feet gently. “What did you wish to speak about?”

Sara inhaled slowly, trying to regain her composure; they were still so close, nearly touching. “I…” She cleared her throat and took a step back, tucking her bangs behind her ear before meeting his gaze. “I wanted to apologize, Jaal. On Kadara… I reacted poorly when you asked to leave. I was upset and I unfairly took out on you. You deserve better.”

He grunted in distaste, “Kadara is a cesspool of depravity. The Milky Way aliens are criminals who fight each other and the angara are traitors. The Roekaar do much of their recruiting on Kadara. That should tell you something about the caliber of people there.”

“I know.” She said soothingly. “I get it, it’s a shithole. I don’t like it either. I was… being selfish. You told me you hated it and I didn’t listen. I brought you along anyway, because... I feel safer with you around.” She confessed. “So, I’m sorry. On both counts.”

Jaal pulled her into an embrace, his arms encircling her waist, chin resting on her head; her hands reflexively came to his chest. “I hate Kadara, but… I am sorry if I upset you.” He pulled away slightly to look at her. “I am not ashamed of my feelings, but I am sorry to have complained. I… did not want to leave your side. It hurt to be sent away.” He revealed.

“Oh Jaal, don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.” Her gut wrenched at his words, her fingers tracing the edge of his rofjinn. “Please forgive me, I _never_ wanted to hurt you.” She gazed up at him, hoping he would see that she sincerely meant it with the whole of her being, the knowledge that she had done so was a hollow in her heart, leaving it aching and sore.

“I know, dearest. You eyes tell the truth of your spirit. You are forgiven.” He murmured.

Sara felt relief flood through her, she hadn’t irreparably damaged their relationship; she could safely move forward with her plan to learn how the angara handled romantic entanglements. She was suddenly aware of how much of her skin was uncovered and how her every curve was melded against him. The heat spread through her chest and rose to her cheeks.

“I should… get some clothes on.” She stammered, pulling away from Jaal.

His brow furrowed, “But… you have clothes on.”

She chuckled, pulling a shirt over her head. “Not enough for you to be holding me so close and calling me dearest. You’ll make a girl blush, Darav.”

His boisterous laughter filled the room, bringing a cheerful grin to her face.

 

* * *

  

The Tempest had arrived on Aya just in time for Sara to make it to the Moshae’s private office within the museum. Akksul had not been pleased to learn that the meeting had been scheduled in an effort for her to make peace. The leader of the Roekaar was having none of it, she’d barely been able to get a word in before he’d stormed out. Sara hoped she could still find a way to convince him and the rest of the Roekaar that her people weren’t like the kett.

There would be time for that later; she was waiting outside the Tavetaan, enjoying the mist coming off the waterfall, the sound of the rushing water. Sara had given her team the day off, they’d been keeping very busy, and everyone’s nerves were a little frayed -- they needed to rest. She had sent Jaal a message asking him to meet her at the Tavetaan for drinks; a date, sort of -- she wasn’t entirely certain angara went on dates, but she had a feeling they did.

Some of the angara were giving her strange looks, but she did her best to ignore them; it was probably her hair, she was wearing it down, parted in the middle so that the locks spilled over her shoulders. Sara leaned against the railing, trying to relax as she watched the water cascade from the cliff.

“Ryder!” She heard Jaal call out as he came up behind her. He scooped her into a hug, inciting a few gasps from the angara surrounding them.

She paid them no mind, her attention focused on him. “Hey Jaal.” She replied, returning his embrace tightly.

He pulled away and glanced at the waterfall she had been admiring. “Enjoying the view?” He asked.

She smiled, keeping her eyes on him. “Yeah, and it just got better.”

He met her eyes and chuckled softly.

“Come on, let’s get a table?” She asked.

He made a sound of agreement in his throat, putting his hand on her lower back to lead the way. They ordered drinks and seated themselves at a little table off in a corner; Sara was glad for the small privacy it provided them.

“So I heard the most interesting conversation while I was waiting for you.” She commented, taking a the first sip from her drink.

“Oh? Have you taken to eavesdropping now?” He asked with a teasing smile.

She giggled, “No! It wasn’t my fault that they were standing close and talking loudly.” Her drink was a little sour, with a hint of sweetness -- she quite liked it. “It was about you…” She baited.

Jaal scoffed, but looked at her expectantly.

She shook her head softly and smiled. “There were a couple of ladies suggesting that you should be on every Resistance recruitment poster. Probably because you’re so irresistable.”

He coughed, nearly choking on his drink.

Sara chuckled softly, taking a sip of her own.

“You are -- what is it -- _messing_ with me?” He said, regaining his composure.

“I’m not!” She insisted, giving him a sweet smile. “They said you were impervious to flirtation and that you had a _thing_ for Avela, but she was just as dense, so it never went anywhere.” She commented, trying to coax the information out of him.

He made a sound of displeasure, “They obviously do not know me at all. Avela is a friend, nothing more.”

She took another drink, “Mmm, one of them asked if that meant you were still available. I laughed and I think they may have realized I’d heard because they left after that.”

He chuckled at that, taking a long swig from his drink.

“I realized I didn’t know the answer though. Do you… have a partner? A mate?” Sara asked, trying her best to sound casual.

“I don’t. Not for a long time…” He answered, suddenly looking sad.

“Oh dear, that sounds ominous.” She commented.

He took another sip from his drink before continuing. “I… fell in love with a girl once. Allia. We were young.” He chuckled. “ _I_ was young. It was my first Vesaal on Aya. We worked on the same farm. She was… a little older. A researcher.” His voice was low and bittersweet, his eyes focused on the drink in his hand. “I can still hear her laugh and see her eyes. She kissed me and… I was hers. Thrilled and seduced.”

He spoke of her so lovingly, his voiced filled with melancholy, it made Sara’s stomach clench painfully. “I have a bad feeling about this.” She murmured.

He met her eyes again and gave her a sad smile. “My older brother came to Aya. He was already famous in the Resistance…” He let the sentence hang for a moment before finishing. “He was… more impressive.”

“Oh Jaal” Her hand reached out to his, gripping it gently. “I’m so sorry. That must have been heartbreaking.”

He made a sound of affirmation in his throat. “It was, but heartache is part of life. My heart has since healed.” He said, squeezing her hand in return.

“Where is Allia now? Did she and your brother work out?” Sara inquired, half hoping that the woman was out of his life.

“They came back to Havarl and… she joined our family. She became one of the mothers.”

“Oh stars. So, you have to see her all the time?” She grimaced and took a swig from her drink.

“No. They were taken by the kett. Their children survived.” He replied sadly.

She squeezed his hand, feeling guilty at her earlier thought -- she hadn’t hoped Allia was _gone_ in that sense. “I’m sorry, Jaal. That’s awful.”

He made another throaty sound of agreement before taking another sip. “What about you? Do you have a mate?” He asked, his eyes diverting from hers and back again.

“No, not for -- well, 635 years or so.” She said, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. “My last relationship ended before we decided to come to Andromeda. Nothing so tragic, but it stung a bit.”

“What happened?” He asked curiously.

She shrugged and took another drink, this was not where she had expected this to go. “When my dad got dishonorably discharged from the Alliance for working on SAM, the Ryder name was sort of… ruined. My boyfriend at the time had political aspirations, so he decided that being with me was… no longer beneficial.”

Jaal made a sound of disgust, “Feh, politicians.” He growled.

She giggled at that, “Yeah, exactly. Anyway, it wasn’t too bad. I cared for him, but it was mostly a physical attraction for me. Knowing that I’d just been some sort of trophy for him -- daughter of an influential scientist and a decorated military officer -- that’s what hurt.”

She felt Jaal squeeze her hand again. “He was a fool. You are so much more than he knew.”

She gave him a crooked smile and tilted her head coquettishly, trying to shift the mood again. “I know, I think so too.” She shrugged again, “It’s not like it matters anyway, I would have broken it off with him when we decided to come to Andromeda. There’s no way I was going to let my family come without me.” She tried to take another sip, only to find her cup empty.

Jaal smiled sweetly at her. “Should I get us more drinks?”

She nodded, “Sure, yeah.”

Sara tried to gather her thoughts while she waited, their conversation had taken a sadder tone than she had hoped, but she’d gotten some very interesting information. She could safely deduce that monogamy was present among the angara, since Allia had left Jaal for his brother. Angara evidently kissed, Jaal was single, and he wasn’t interested in Avela, all of which she was happy to hear.

“I wanted to tell you.” She heard him say as he set a fresh drink in front of her. He sat back down before continuing, “I caught Liam on the bridge the other day, teaching Suvi and Kallo an old angaran folk song. At least… that’s what I told them it was.”

She chuckled unsurely, “Okay?”

He smirked at her, “Don’t worry, the marriage can be dissolved by a different song. I’ll try to remember it.”

Sara laughed heartily at that. “Cheers, Jaal.” She said, holding up her glass.

“What are we cheering?” He questioned.

“It’s a toast. A drink in honor of someone or something.” She explained. “Here, I’ll do a better job of it. I’ll say something, and then we’ll clink our glasses together -- softly -- and then we drink.”

He nodded in understanding, lifting his glass to mimic her.

Sara took a second to recall an old toast she’d heard. “To us. May we live to learn well, and learn to live well.”

“Mmm, I like that.” Jaal commented after he’d taken a sip from his drink.

She grinned at him, enjoying the relaxed look on his face. “Thanks for getting the drinks -- Oh, I nearly forgot! I have something for you.”

Sara stuck her hand into the pocket of her jacket, digging out a small square box with a ribbon tied around it, she set it on the table in front of him.

Jaal stared at it and then back at her. “What is it?”

She giggled at the confused look he wore. “It’s a present. For you. Open it, the gift is inside.” She urged.

He pulled the ribbon away and removed the lid from the box, revealing a small electronic chip.

Sara had requested Vetra’s assistance in procuring a couple of hard-to-find items, this had been one of them. “It’s a biotic implant. You seemed interested, so I got one for you to tinker with.” She explained shyly.

His eyes lit up and breath hitched, “Sara… that’s -- you are more thoughtful than I ever imagined. You never cease to amaze me.”

“It’s no big deal.” She said with a shake of her head, but she felt heat blooming on her cheeks.

“It is wonderful. Thank you, dearest.” He gave her an affectionate smile that made her heart flutter happily.

She took a large swig of her drink, nervously. “I'm glad you like it.”

“Ryder, we just received an emergency recording from Eos. Come to the meeting room when you get to the Tempest.” Suvi informed through their comms.

“Crap.” She groaned. “Back to reality, I suppose.”

Jaal agreed with a low growl from his throat. They departed the Tavetaan, his hand resting on her back as they walked to the Tempest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously the rating changed for this chapter (and there will more of that to come), but I tried to keep it short and classy. I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> I'm sorry to have vilified Reyes a little bit. I actually think he's great, but I needed Sara (and Jaal) to be frustrated by his flirtatious persona. In the end, I guess I made him unintentionally correct about Sara being sexually frustrated.
> 
> As usual, thank you to everyone who has subscribed, bookmarked, or left kudos. You are all wonderful.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara confront her growing feelings for Jaal. And then all the angst.

Prodromos was safe from the Roekaar, at least for the time being. Sara was starting to think that perhaps she wouldn’t be able to bring Akksul around after all. The attack on their first successful colony had been a bold move. Jaal had been right, Akksul was cunning and dangerous; they would need to deal with him sooner or later.

Luckily, while the Roekaar attack had been unexpected, their trip to Eos had been part of Sara’s plan; Peebee needed a piece of remtech for her current project and had pinpointed it to Eos. They were on their way to Havarl now for the same reason. Sara was looking forward to visiting the planet again, its jungles were beautiful and there was something about the color of the sky there that made her happy.

Predictably, Sara’s thoughts turned to Jaal; she hadn’t had much time to think on it, but their outing on Aya had been informative and _fun_ . Spending time with him was always enjoyable, but there was something about going out for drinks with him that felt -- normal. She was happy he’d agreed to meet her, despite her original intent being _‘intelligence gathering’_ , their conversation had been comfortable.

Her attraction to Jaal had grown, she knew; Sara’s little crush had steadily changed into something more. A fondness for his spirit, his personality, that went well beyond his sultry voice or his beautiful eyes. He intrigued and enticed her, she reveled in each interaction they shared, and Sara found herself wanting _more_.

She liked what they had now, the flirting and teasing held its own sense of fun, and she certainly enjoyed the level of physical comfort they’d developed with each other, even if it was mostly platonic. The moments when they spoke openly and freely, sharing memories and feelings, exchanging small, easy touches; those she enjoyed most of all.

Sara knew her life wasn’t _normal_ , and it was likely never going to be. A romantic relationship felt somehow out of reach, as though it would be a falsehood of normalcy that was forbidden to her. In truth, she wasn’t sure it needed to be; Jaal was already a staple in her day-to-day life. They went out on missions together, it wasn’t exactly normal, but it was what they did. They tinkered in the tech lab side by side, sometimes collaborating, and other times working on their own projects. The two of them often found themselves sitting on her couch -- reading in companionate silence, debating passionately, commiserating, learning.

She already cared for him deeply; adding a layer of romance, allowing themselves to be amorous and sensual -- was it really so out of the question. That was, of course, under the assumption that Jaal felt the same way. Sara knew he was fond of her and that he enjoyed the time they spent together, but harmless flirting was very different from the commitment she was hoping for. She had learned what she needed about most of the practical details that a relationship would entail, but now she needed the _feelings_ portion of the equation.

Nothing would be solved with her sitting around and wondering about it, this was a conversation for two people, and she needed to seek out the second participant.

\---------

The door to the tech lab opened at her approach, she could hear the sounds of conversation coming from within.  Perhaps her self-imposed mission would have to wait for a different day.

“You more than anyone know how dangerous Akksul is.” Sara heard a voice say as she entered further into the room.

“Why were they allowed to speak with him.” Jaal replied angrily.

“They aren’t children anymore. We can’t control their every move. You remember how you were.” The voice paused. “Please Jaal.”

“I’ll bring them home.” Jaal answered in a dejected tone, gesturing at his wrist to end the communication.

Sara approached him cautiously, knowing she’d walked in on a private matter, but wanting to reach out and offer assistance in whatever way she could. “Jaal, are you okay?” She asked softly.

“Three of my brothers and sisters… have joined the Roekaar.” He told her, his voice filled with despair. He rose from his chair, walking past her to pace the room. “Akksul has poisoned them with his hatred of aliens.” He spat angrily.

“And your mothers want you to bring them back?” She asked, extrapolating from what she’d overheard.

He faced her, still pacing menacingly from side to side. “The Roekaar have made camp at The Forge in Havarl. Many consider it to be the birthplace of our civilization. Akksul, likely believes this… **bold** move will create more fanatics for his cause.” Jaal explained.

His intimidating demeanor fell away, replaced with a pleading look. “Ryder. He has my family, but I don’t think I can do this alone.”

She went to him, grasping his hands in hers. “You don’t have to. Tell me where you need me and I’m there.” Sara promised, her tone soft.

He breathed a sigh of relief, gripping her hands in return. “No hesitation. That is what I love about you.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I have a contact who has been monitoring the Roekaar. I’ll set up a rendezvous with her. She’ll be able to get us a transport to The Forge.”

“Do it. We’ll be landing on Havarl in a couple of hours.” She told him, as she pulled away to go prepare. It appeared they would have to deal with Akksul much sooner than she’d expected.

 

* * *

  

Sara took a deep steadying breath as she stared out into the jungles surrounding the Pelaav research station. Watching Akksul point his gun directly at Jaal’s face had been more than difficult; it had taken every ounce of control she had, to not pull the trigger and end him. She was fairly certain she’d forgotten to breathe through the entire encounter, her heart was still pounding from it.

“Thank you, for trusting me.” Sara heard Jaal say beside her. “Killing Akksul would have made the Roekaar stronger.”

She turned toward him, eyes focusing on the fresh wound. “He shot you.” She replied, finding it difficult to to keep her voice from wavering.

“I’m glad he did. It exposed how far he’d fallen.” Jaal answered calmly, much too calmly for the series of events they had just experienced. She was envious for a moment; if the angara were the ones that felt so deeply, why was he so composed while she could feel her pulse beating behind her eyes.

Sara sighed heavily, willing the adrenaline coursing through her to fade away. “I was really worried. I was… more than worried. I was fucking terrified.” Her brow furrowed as she stared at him, hoping he would understand the depth of her fear. Her hands opened and clenched involuntarily; her body asking for physical contact with his. “He could have…” she sighed again, unwilling to say the words. The thought of him dying made her feel ill.

Jaal reached out to her, pressing his forehead to hers, his gloved hand in her hair. “It will heal. All scars do.” Her hand mimicked his, a sense of relief flooding through her at his touch and his comforting words. She knew what he said to be true, perhaps with deeper meaning than he realized.

Sara lifted her eyes to meet his and once again found herself breathless. There was admiration and affection in his eyes, his gaze so intense that she thought her heart would surely beat out of her chest in its desperation to give itself to him.  All she could manage was a whisper, breathed like a prayer “Jaal…”

Her mind was starting to fog, lost in his eyes, his hands, the bulk of him clouding her vision. She felt as though his name had fallen from her lips as a plea; asking him to understand that she couldn’t bear to lose him, telling him all she could think about was tasting his lips.

Jaal was gone as abruptly as he had come, pulling away from her. “We should get back. I want to say goodbye before my family heads home.”

Sara nodded. “Sure, I’ll meet you back on the Tempest.” she said as she walked away from him. She needed to put some distance between them, her mind was reeling from her body’s reaction to him. She had nearly kissed him, she'd wanted to with every fiber of her being. She sighed to herself; with all of the dopamine and epinephrine she surely had in her system, she obviously she wasn’t thinking clearly. Sara knew she needed to talk to him, as she’d planned to earlier that day -- though it seemed like a lifetime ago since she’d let herself explore her feelings for him. They seemed so obvious now.

He’d pulled away as she’d leaned in; perhaps his flirtations really had been intended as harmless. It was possible that he simply saw her in a friendly manner and she’d projected her own feelings of attraction onto him. Sara sighed heavily again, realizing that she was letting her thoughts run away from her. She needed to rest and regroup, it had been a difficult day and she wasn’t going to solve anything by overthinking it.

Gil approached her as she entered the cargo bay; but instead of helping her out of her gear, he held the kett transponder out to her. “It took a hell of a lot of work, but we’ve got it.” He stated.

 

* * *

 

They were finally on their way to the Archon’s ship; the Tempest was buzzing with anxious anticipation. Everyone on the ship was finding it difficult to stick to their normal routines. Sara was trying to keep to her quarters, she didn’t think pacing nervously around the ship was going to do anyone any good. Cora kept coming to see her every few minutes with a new question or concern. Drack was trying to bring her food and had offered to lend her one of his favorite knives, stating that the asari blade she carried _‘couldn’t even gut a pyjak’_ .

Gil could be found in the cargo bay, checking and rechecking the Nomad, even though they wouldn’t be needing it. She only knew because Vetra had informed her as much, after forgetting why she’d come to see Sara to begin with. Lexi kept asking her if she’d eaten enough, although that was as near to normal as anyone was behaving, Sara thought wryly.

She was nervous, boarding the Archon’s ship was absolute insanity, but it was the only option they had. They needed to get their hands on that relic to even stand a chance at surviving in Heleus. Sara was pacing around her room restlessly, fighting the urge to seek Jaal out; they hadn’t spoken since their departure from Havarl. There was no time for romance now, that conversation was definitely out of the question -- she needed to focus on the mission.

Despite that, she wanted to speak to him; Jaal had a calming presence that might help ease her anxiety, he had become a source of comfort. Unfortunately, now that she had admitted her feelings for him, even if only to herself, her behavior around him had clearly changed. If her reaction to him on Havarl was any indication, she needed to keep her distance for the time being.

And yet, she was still his friend and he had just been through a harrowing experience. She would classify nearly getting shot in the face as good reason to check in on a friend. Besides, her emotions had been running high on Havarl, she knew how to control herself under normal circumstances. Checking in on him before the mission was practically a requirement, if he wasn’t mentally prepared, she’d have to take someone else with her -- though she hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

“Go check on how he’s doing. Keep it light and friendly.” Sara told herself in the mirror. She nodded, assuring herself again that she knew how to _not_ behave like a virginal teenager.

Finally leaving her room, she made her way into the crew quarters, hoping to grab some coffee before heading over to the tech lab. As fate would have it, there would be no need to go elsewhere, since she found her angaran teammate standing next to her desired beverage.

“Hey Liam.” she said casually as she passed him.

“Hey Ryder.” he replied, seemingly engrossed in the datapad he was reading as he walked out the door. Though she was certain the datapad had been off and he’d been smirking down at it.

Jaal turned toward her as she approached. “Heeey”, she greeted, trying her best to sound casual.

“Hello, my special friend.” Jaal said, his voice smokier than usual.

Sara felt her face flush. ‘ _Keep it together, Ryder’_ she thought to herself.

“How’s the face wound?” she asked, maintaining her cool facade.

Jaal chuckled, “I think my scar will be impressive.”

She smiled sadly at that. “A centimeter to the right and... well, let’s not think about that.” Sara diverted her gaze purposefully; though the moment of danger had passed, her fear of losing him still lingered.

“Akksul was always a terrible shot.” he replied, clearly trying to put her at ease.

She met his eyes again. “Well shit.” she said with a smirk. “I wouldn’t have worried so much if you’d told me that before.”

He chuckled at her, making her smile in return. “I’m glad you’re okay. Plus, now you look even more badass.”

“And more appealing to my female friends?” Jaal asked, his tone joking.

“Absolutely.” She replied with a chuckle. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep all the ladies off you.”

Jaal chuckled nervously at that, his cheeks purpled slightly.

“So, are your brothers and sister okay?” Sara asked quickly, steering the conversation away from the exact direction she’d told herself not to take it.

“Yes. They are safely home.” he said with relief in voice, whether it was due to the safety of his siblings or the change in subject, she did not know. “Thank you again, Sara. Your help with this...it means more than you know.”

She bowed her head in acknowledgment of his thanks. “Good to hear. I’m glad I could help.” She paused. “So, how are you feeling about the mission?”

He made a sound of consideration in his throat. “Nervous, but ready. If anyone can do this, it’s you, Ryder.”

Coming from him, the words felt like a simple truth, she felt a little push against the uncertainty inside her. “Thanks Jaal. That… helps.” She admitted.

His brow furrowed. “How are _you_ feeling?” He put his hand on her shoulder.

“A little bit anxious, honestly.” She confessed. “I’m ready though. Infiltrating is definitely part of my skillset. We just need to be quick and quiet.”

His hand moved up to cup her face. “You are a brilliant risk-taker, Sara. I have seen you accomplish the impossible. This will soon be another feat on that list.”

She sighed softly, _this_ was why she’d sought him out; his words, his voice, his eyes -- all told a story of trust that inspired confidence within her. “You’re right. We’ve got this."

 

* * *

  

Sara could feel the warm sun on her face, she rolled over and stretched, enjoying the feeling of the soft sheets against her naked skin. She let out happy moan, chased by a sleepy yawn. She didn’t want to get out of bed, it was so comfortable. She deserved a lazy day in bed, the sun peeking in through the windows, wrapped in her overstuffed comforter.

She opened her eyes to see her lover’s naked back, his hair tousled against the pillow. He was facing away from her, but she could hear his soft snores, the corded muscles of his back rising and falling with each breath. “Jaal.” She whispered, peppering kisses along his shoulder, her arm snaking around his waist.

“Mmm, good morning, dearest.” His drowsy baritone replied. He turned toward her, tucking a leg between hers and pulling her close. He placed kisses along her neck, her shoulder, her collarbone -- his hand making a slow ascent from her thigh, following the curve of her body. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.” He murmured against her neck.

Her arms found their way around his neck, shifting her weight to pull him on top of her, “I’m here, Jaal. I’m okay.” She wrapped one leg around his hip, encouraging him to continue. She hissed pleasurably at the feeling of him filling her, moaning his name. She was okay, her mind kept repeating, trying to convince her. She was alive, but not okay. Something was wrong -- Jaal was _wrong_ \-- why were they on _Earth_.

Sara was looking for her cat, Eezo -- they never let him out of the apartment, why had Scott let him get on Arc Hyperion? She could hear faint mewling coming from somewhere. There was nobody else around. No one who could help. It was dark, but the emergency lights were on. She wished she had a bag of treats to draw Eezo out of hiding. She called out to him, but the soft meows only seemed to get further away.

It was cold. She looked down at her bare abdomen, realizing she only wore a sport bra and shorts. She looked up to the front of the lecture hall. The salarian professor talking rapidly about allosteric regulation of hemocyanin function in angara. Sara wondered why she was in class when she was supposed to be looking for the Moshae.

She bolted, running through the back exit into the hallway. There were so many doors. Moshae Sjefa had to be here somewhere. She was a teacher, she’d have to be in one of these classrooms. Sara spotted the door at the end of the hallway. She could hear the Moshae’s voice faintly -- there was another voice too, a menacing one.

She threw the door open, only to find an invisible wall in the way. “A final time. How does Meridian work.” The Archon asked, standing over the Moshae’s prone body -- there were wires connected from every direction. “I don’t know.” She insisted, her voice quavering with pain. Sara stared up at the Archon, unable to move. “Then the specimen will learn true agony.” She felt a painful jolt of electric shock, her body seized and shook, her vision blurred.

\---------

She woke with a gasping breath, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. She stared at her surroundings, trying to get her bearings -- her cabin on the Tempest. She exhaled harshly, striving to get her heart rate back to normal. She winced as she rose from her bed, the bruise on her ribs was fresh and painful -- the krogan turned kett they’d fought on the Archon’s ship had rammed into her, sending her flying into a Remnant artifact.

Sara sat at the edge of her bed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. The dream she’d been having fading faster than she could recall it, but she remembered the feeling of it -- the agonizing pain. Her stomach grumbled noisily -- she hadn’t eaten enough, hadn’t been hungry, but her biotic metabolism said otherwise. With a heavy sigh, she rose from her bed, throwing on a tank top and pants to go search for food.

The door opened to reveal Jaal, pacing in the corridor; he looked startled, as though not expecting her. “Jaal…” --  ‘ _Coming to kill me?’_ , she almost joked, but she thought better of it, realizing he looked anxious. “Are you okay?”

He hummed a noncommittally, “I… could not sleep.” He said simply, his voice low and sad.

Sara gave him a small, understanding smile. “Do you want to talk?” She offered, her body half turning toward her room as an invitation.

“Yes.” He rumbled with a nod, walking past her, over the threshold of her room.

“Okay, just wait for me here. I need to grab a snack, I’ll be right back.” She promised, walking the short steps into the galley and grabbing a ration bar.

She returned to her room to find Jaal still pacing -- for a moment she admired how lightly he stepped, despite his large size, he was very graceful. She tore open the bar, taking a big bite as she made her way past him to sit cross-legged at the edge of her bed, watching him tread the length of the room. “Talk to me Jaal, are you okay?” She prodded gently.

He stopped, turning toward her; his lips pursed and then opened. He let out a sharp exhale, “Are you?” He asked softly. “You… died, Sara.”

Her hand dropped away from her mouth, the bite she’d taken turning to ash. She had died. _Again_.

It had been their only way out. She’d tried to joke about it at the time -- she was okay, she was alive, it was fine -- ‘ _You two look comfortable’,_ she had quipped. Thinking about it now made her chest ache; there was a feeling of _nothingness_ that she couldn’t quite shake.

She swallowed hard. “I know…” she whispered, the grief tightening in her chest. She hadn’t thought about it yet, it had hardly been a day, she excused feebly to herself. Lexi, Liam, Cora, now Jaal -- they’d all told her the same thing with different words. _Take the time_.

Jaal came to sit next to her at the edge of the bed, his hand coming to rest on her knee. “I was terrified when SAM had to try a second time, and then a third.” He admitted with a shaky breath. “The seconds were… infinite.”

She gazed up at him, the ache in her chest intensifying at his doleful expression. “It was our only option. I trusted that SAM could bring me back, but believe me, I did not want to die _again_.” She looked down at her hands and took another bite of her bar. That had not been the right thing to say, he seemed to have come to her for comfort, and she was doing a terrible job of it.

She put her free hand over his, tucking her fingers under his palm, “I’m here, Jaal. I’m okay.” She said, the words giving her strange sense of deja vu. She shook her head, exhaling sharply. “I’m alive. I’m… not okay, but… I will be.” She tried again.

Jaal let out a shuddering breath, his hand tightening around hers. Sara leaned her head on his shoulder, hoping the increased physical affection would soothe him. He nuzzled his face into her hair, sighing softly. They sat in the silence of each other's company, Sara taking comfort from his presence, as she hoped he was doing in turn.

“That ship was a horror. The kett have no regard for _life_.” He murmured heavily against her head. Sara took the last bite of her bar, considering his words.

The kett had killed so many salarians, slaughtered them like animals for their sick experiments, tortured them for information. When they’d seen it happening -- the scientists brutalizing the salarian behind the thick tempered glass -- she’d nearly lost it.

She’d tried to smash the glass with the butt off her rifle, her shouts not drowning out the excruciating screams of the salarian inside. Liam had been as livid as she was, howling curses and furiously smashing his fists against the separation. Jaal too, had been enraged, she remembered -- she’d heard his voice crack in anger and empathy, seen the sparks of his bioelectricity. Her biotics had reacted similarly, coming off of her in angry waves.

It was the same cruelty and butchery that the angara had been subjected to for so long. It made her heart ache for them, for Jaal. She squeezed his hand comfortingly, “The kett are monsters -- only capable of atrocities with their twisted distortion of science. We’ll find a way to make it stop. We have to.”

“I dream of it. I hope it is someday soon.” Jaal said, lifting his head. She pulled away from his shoulder to gaze up at him. “With _you_. It seems possible.” He told her.

She smiled at him. “We dealt them a hard blow. We’ll do it again.” With a final squeeze of his hand, she rose from the bed, tossing the empty wrapper she held into the nearby waste basket. She strode slowly toward the center console, leaning on the railing to gaze out into space.

There was a sense of victory in what they’d done -- Arc Paarchero was finally on its way to the Nexus and they’d acquired invaluable information. “The Moshae was right.” She commented, sensing Jaal come up behind her. “The Archon is obsessed with the Remnant, with Meridian. It makes him dangerous, but… it makes him vulnerable too. Let’s hope we can use it to our advantage.” Sara could feel his presence behind her, warm and alive.

“You already have the advantage. You have SAM and your ability to use the Remnant technology.” He stated, placing a hand on her shoulder as he came to stand beside her.

She sighed and made a sound of skepticism in her throat. “The Archon didn’t get away empty handed. He knows about SAM... and who knows what else. Suvi told me he would have had access to flashes of memories when I can back to life.” Despite their triumph, Sara was shaken by that fact; the Archon had likely learned more about her than she wanted to think about.

“Mmm, he may know about SAM, but he has no access to him. And he does not know you. A few memories do not describe the whole of a person. He does not know your strength, your tenacity, your kindness.” He stressed, his hand squeezing her shoulder gently.

Sara felt warmth spread through her chest at his words, she glanced over at him, smiling gratefully. They let a companionate silence envelope them again, each lost in their own thoughts. Sara thought back to the day they had first landed on Aya. Jaal had been menacing, standing over her in a show of intimidation; she distinctly remembered thinking that his eyes were the loveliest blue she’d ever seen. Who would have known that he would become so dear to her, that she could hardly imagine not having him in her life. She glanced at him again, another wave of warmth blooming in her chest.

“Sara…” He said, his tone questioning.

“Hmm?” She hummed in response.

“What did you mean when you said you didn’t want to die _again_?” He asked.

_Shit_ , she hadn’t told him that yet. She sighed, pushing herself off the railing to stand straight. Sara turn her head to meet his gaze, he was looking expectantly at her, his thumb caressing her bare shoulder. She knew that it still lingered, the fear -- just under the surface; her death seemed to have shifted something in him, just as their encounter with Akksul had done to her.

Sara cleared her throat, not knowing where to begin -- she hadn’t told anyone the full story yet; it was tucked away in a little box at the back of her mind, where it could do no harm until she was ready to unpack the memory within. Something in his eyes told her that it was time -- she needed to tell him. “I… uh.” She tried to begin.

His brow furrowed, his hand moving from her shoulder to cup her face gingerly. She leaned into his hand, closing her eyes as she took a steadying breath. She met his gaze again, turning her body to face him directly, her hands grasping the railing behind her. Jaal let his hand drop to his side, looking patiently at her.

“When we arrived in Heleus, we crash landed on a planet that had been identified as a potential habitat for us, but it was a disaster -- floating rocks and lightning storms, the air wasn’t even breathable. My dad was Pathfinder, at the time.” She paused, swallowing hard. “That was our first encounter with the kett. They were guarding a Remnant vault. We didn’t know what it was, but dad figured it would stop the storms. SAM had to translate in a hurry and dad interfaced directly with it, in his rush to get it working.” She stopped, her hands were gripping the railing tightly.

She took a steadying breath before continuing. “The blast came at us unexpectedly, we got knocked over a cliff. I… remember hitting the rocks on my way down and the sound of glass breaking. When I finally hit the ground, my helmet was shattered. I couldn’t breath. I…”

Sara felt her voice crack, she could feel her eyes welling up with unshed tears. She cleared her throat, “My dad, he uh… he took my helmet off and…”, she bit her lip and swallowed, “Gave me his.” She was nodding, the tears sticking to her lashes until they were heavy enough to escape, forging a trail down her cheeks. “It was already too late, I was dying -- but with the last of his breath, he made me Pathfinder. SAM and I forged a connection… they saved me.” A single sob escaped her before she caught it on her lips. The tears spilled, unrestrained, but she made no effort to wipe them away; her fingers securely wrapped around the railing, knuckles white from their effort.

She tried to get her breathing under control, swallowing thickly as the feeling of loss washed over her, the memory replaying in her mind. Jaal’s hands were on her hips, Sara hadn’t realized their presence until they were gone -- he cupped her face in his hands, pressing his forehead to hers while his thumbs smeared the tears across her cheeks like war paint. “One day, Sara Ryder, you will think of your father and remember him fondly. Until that day, use this pain to honor his sacrifice.”

Sare felt herself nodding gently against his palms, her grip on the railing finally abandoned, she snaked her arms around his waist; his hands left her face to tuck her into an embrace. Jaal simply held her, soothing hands running over her back and in her hair. She clung to him, letting the grief wash over her; silently weeping for the salarians, for the angara, for her father, her brother -- herself.

Jaal exhaled shakily into her hair. “One horrible day when I was a boy, my father vanished from my life. He went to work and... never came home.” She could hear the sorrow in his voice, his arms tightened around her. “He was taken or… killed by the kett. We never found his body. The thought that he was exalted… that _I_ may have killed him, haunts me.” He confessed, his body shuddering against hers.

Sara’s heart ached for him, unable to imagine the weight of such a possibility -- it was crushing to consider. “Oh Jaal.” She whispered, not knowing what words could describe the terrible sadness she felt for his loss, for the devastating sentiment he carried. They mourned in each others arms, only the soft sounds of their shared sorrow between them, time passing inconsequentially.

His breath normalized again after a while, deep and comforting. “We have suffered greatly, yet we fight on.” He pulled away just enough to look down at her. She met his gaze unabashedly, despite the wet tracks that streaked her cheeks. “It is in living our lives -- in seeking happiness -- that we keep the memory of those we’ve lost.”

Sara took a deep steadying breath, her chest pressing against his. “It will heal. All scars do.” She whispered with a watery smile, echoing his words.

His hand threaded through her hair as he pressed a whisper of a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you, Sara. For sharing yourself with me.” He murmured huskily.

She shook her head, untangling her arms from around his waist to wipe the wetness from her cheeks. “Thank you for listening, Jaal. I needed that more than you know.” She gave him a small, sweet smile. Sara felt lighter, her heart less burdened because of this wonderful angara; he had let her grieve, given her comfort, and shared his heartache in return.

“We both did.” Jaal admitted, releasing her from his embrace, his thumb making one last sweep of her jaw. “You should sleep. You have indulged me enough.” He said softly, taking a few steps back to pull away from her. She immediately missed his warmth, the room felt much colder without his presence in her bubble.

“Quite the contrary.” Sara argued “But you’re right, we should get some rest.” She could still feel the press of his lips on her skin; she wanted to ask if there was something _more_ , but knew this wasn’t the right time. There was a beauty in their shared grief and mutual comfort, but she didn’t want to send the wrong message -- she wanted to him for _him_ , not just for the comfort he could provide.

Sara shook herself from the thought, there would be time for that later, she didn’t want to act on impulse -- not with this, it was too important. She raised her arms over her head, stretching indulgently, her back arching to pull the muscles taut. What started as a pleasurable moan, transformed into a hiss of pain -- the bruise across her ribs stung painfully at the movement.

Jaal cleared his throat, “Mm, Sara? I have a question, if you would… sate my curiosity.”

“Sure.” She agreed, glancing back up at him, her hand absently soothing the ache of the contusion.

“Cora explained that it is impolite -- I do not wish to make you uncomfortable -- but we are… closer.” He cleared his throat again. “Your… chest, looks different than it normally does. More full and... pointy?”

Sara felt her cheeks burning, she looked down at her chest, realizing her arm was making a shelf for her breasts as she rubbed her side and the sudden cold had made her nipples harden. The tank top she wore was standard issue Andromeda Initiative white, leaving little to the imagination. She brought her arm down to her side with a nervous giggle, noticing the way Jaal’s eyes widened as he watched her chest. “Well, I uh…” She shook her head, knowing this was in no way sexual -- he was curious, that's all.

“My breasts -- that’s what female human chests are called -- are usually confined. Kind of like my hair, they’re bouncy and soft and they get in the way, so I wear a sports bra to keep them tight against my body.” She explained, trying to keep her tone casual. “The… pointiness in this case, is a reaction to the cold, though it can also signify sexual arousal. Breasts are what we refer to as a secondary sex characteristic, which is probably why Cora told you it was impolite.” Despite her attempts at keeping the explanation clinical, she felt heat on her cheeks.

“Hmm, you humans are very shuttered about sex. It is a shame. They look lovelier this way.” The huskiness in voice belied his casual tone, his stare was hooded and sultry.

Her eyes narrowed, suspecting he was actually well aware of the effect he was having on her. “I think so too.” She replied, biting her lower lip as she brought a hand up to caress a globe, her thumb and forefinger gently pinching a stiff peak. “It’s nice to let them be free.” She said wistfully, letting the hand fall to her hip with a smirk -- two could play at that.

“Thank you for the demonstrative explanation. I should like to see them myself someday. I am interested in learning how to make them _pointy_ when it is _not_ _cold_.” He replied suggestively. “Good night, Sara dearest. Stay clear.” He excused himself with a smirk, walking through the door before she could reboot her brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this chapter is a little longer than usual since I'll be gone for a week. It took me ages to write because I'm terrible at angsty things.
> 
> I hope the dream sequence was -just- strange enough without being too confusing. Dreams tend to flit from one scene/thought to the next, so I tried to portray that as best I could.
> 
> I know the burn is agonizingly slow, but we're almost there, I promise! I won't have another update until the second week of May, so I hope you all enjoy this one!
> 
> As always, thanks to everyone for the lovely comments and kudos. Truly, it brings me joy and inspiration. <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaal and Sara talk feelings.

The canopy around the Pelaav research station was stunning; the bioluminescence, present in so many of the plant species, gave the area an almost mystical glow. Sara stood atop the station, enjoying the sight, taking deep breaths of the calm, cool air. Peebee had run off to the Tempest with her Remtech in hand, she hadn’t wanted to waste a second to get back to her project. Sara couldn’t blame her, between dealing with Akksul and finding the location of the kett flagship, they hadn’t had a chance to retrieve it earlier.

The thought that they probably shouldn’t be on Havarl, that there were more pressing matters to attend, tried to nag at Sara. She refused to let it. After her talk with Jaal, she had decided that she needed to decompress -- to take the time to sort through what they had seen, what they’d experienced. If she continued barreling through without regard for her mental health, she’d be of no use to anyone -- worse, she would make mistakes.

The Tempest had been following Arc Paarchero back to the Nexus, but after realizing she wasn’t ready to deal with the Nexus leadership just yet, she’d told Kallo to set a course for Havarl. She and the rest of the Tempest crew could use a few days to recover -- physically and mentally -- while still doing something productive.

Sara wanted to use the time to talk to Jaal as well -- it was high time she asked him how he felt about her or perhaps even confessed her own feelings. She just needed to find the right time to do it, or so she kept telling herself. She knew her hopeless pining was useless, it seemed like such a simply thing to _just ask_ , but the idea filled her a nervous energy.

Jaal had gone to speak with Kiiran when they’d returned to the research station, while Sara had chosen to simply enjoy being planetside, taking in the gorgeous surroundings. Havarl was so beautiful, different from Earth, and certainly different from the Citadel, but it held an appeal for her that she found difficult to describe.

She thought of their journey to the Forge; despite the tension and struggle they’d been facing, its beauty had struck her magnificently. The way the water reflected the stars, its blue radiance in the low light of evening, the lush foliage, the carved stones -- it was breathtaking. Sara recalled Jaal’s admittance that he’d wanted to take her to the Forge someday, under different circumstances; it warmed her heart, it gave her hope.

Sara heard soft footsteps approaching from behind her, she turned from the railing to find the angara who had been occupying her thoughts. “Hey Jaal.” She greeted him with a smile. “Ready to get back to the Tempest?”

He gave her a small smile in return. “Mmm, not exactly. _We_ have unfinished business here. I’d like to do one more thing before we leave Havarl.” He stated, coming close enough to lay a hand on her hip. “If you are willing.”

“Oh? And what would that be?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at him curiously, her hand climbing the length of his arm from her hip to his shoulder.

“My true mother has been asking about you. I would like to introduce you to her. I want to take you to… meet my family.” He told her, his tone hopeful and questioning.

Sara smiled widely at him, a tense, excited feeling building in her stomach. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

\---------

Sahuna was absolutely endearing, so welcoming and kind; Sara felt the need to hug the woman who brought Jaal into existence. Sahuna smiled at her, recounting how often Jaal talked about Sara and how much he admired her, and listing all of the wonderful qualities her _favorite son_ possessed. Sara simply giggled, telling Sahuna that she needed no convincing -- she knew Jaal was amazing.

Sara smiled and waved at members of Jaal’s family as they greeted her. There were so many of them; their home was spacious but the sheer number of them made it seem small. Sara felt the pressure of Jaal’s hand on her lower back, leading her forward. “And here’s my room. My tiny sanctuary.” he said as the door shut behind them.

Sara smiled, the roomful of angara had been a little intimidating but it felt inviting and homey. “We have a saying that I like. Home is where the heart is.” She could imagine that despite the angara’s propensity for living with large family units, everyone needed a quiet space to themselves on occasion, and Jaal’s little room was exactly that.

“I like that” he responded, making a small sound of appreciation in his throat. “Oh no. Who put this here?” He wondered, as he cleared things off the bed that must have been his. He grabbed the box in question, placing it on his lap as he sat on the bed.

Sara seated herself on the bed beside him, watching as he opened the container. “Schematics? Of...” she asked, peeking inside.

“When I was seven, my aunt stole a Kett weapon for me. So I took it apart. To learn.” Jaal explained, a fond smile on his lips.

“And that is -was- a kaerkyn?” Sara asked, raising one brow skeptically.

“Pet kaerkyn.” He confirmed. “Alfit. He died. So I also took him apart.”

“To learn?” She asked, trying to contain her smile.

“Why not?” He asked with a shrug.

Sara chuckled “And here you had me thinking you had no interest in biology.” she said playfully, softly elbowing his arm. “You, my friend, have a passion for learning.” she said matter-of-factly. “It’s very attractive.” she added coquettishly, leaning back to rest her weight on her hands.

Jaal smiled shyly at her before turning away to set the box aside. “And yet, I was a terrible student.” He commented as he turned to face her again. “I… never truly received formal schooling, not in the way you did. Our education is chaotic -- another thing the kett have taken from us.”

She gave him a sad smile. “They couldn’t take your thirst for knowledge, even if they did make it more difficult to obtain.” She pulled herself forward again to cup his face in her gloved hand. “Despite the chaos, you’re so skilled at so many things. Your drive to teach yourself anything you have an interest in is… inspiring. You’re brilliant. It’s one of the things I love most about you.” She confessed.

His eyes were shining and Sara found herself drowning in them, as she often did; the ethereal pull of them asking her to lose herself in their depths. She was always amazed at how openly he wore his emotions on face; she saw the admiration in his eyes and the nervous twitch of his lips. It shouldn’t have taken her by surprise, but somehow it had; she realized that if there were ever a time to ask him how he felt about her, surely this was it. “Jaal, I -- Do you…?” she whispered.

“Sara… You make my heart sing.” he confessed, as though hearing the question before she asked it. “I want us to be together.”

Her heart was singing too; it fluttered madly in her chest, as if trying to tell Jaal that nothing would make it happier. “Yeah. Me too.” Sara breathed out, her pulse beating wildly out of control; the moment felt surreal, somehow happening too fast and in slow motion.

Jaal laughed happily. “Yes!” he exclaimed, making her giggle girlishly in return. He leaned into her, placing a large gloved hand at the back of her head to pull her in. Sara needed no coaxing, she had wanted this for months. She leaned her face up toward his, until she could feel the warmth of his breath on hers. “I adore you.” Jaal murmured, before sealing their lips together.

Sara’s heart was a chorus of rousing joy; if it had been singing before, it was infinitely more melodious now. His lips were soft and shy at first, but when she pressed more forcefully in encouragement, he became bolder, pulling her in more deeply. Her hand dropped down from his cheek, to grasp the cowl of his rofjinn, pulling on it softly to bring him closer. She loved the taste of him, it was better than she could have imagined; delicately sweet and fresh -- perfect. She sighed contentedly when he pulled away, unable to keep the grin from her face.

“I uh, let me show you one more thing you might like.” Jaal stammered sheepishly, rising from the bed. Sara placed her small hands in his much larger ones when he offered them to pull her to stand. “Lie down.” he said, guiding her to the empty space on the floor.

Though a little confused, she complied. “Okay. Sure.”

Sara waited while Jaal turned on what she could only imagine was the best nightlight in all existence. “Beautiful. You made that?” she asked in awe, enchanted by the stars floating all around her.

“Long ago. It’s not accurate. More of a dream, really.” He replied, his voice dipping down into that lower octave that made warmth pool inside her. He lay down on the floor beside her. “Just one more thing I want to take apart and figure out.”

“Ah, Jaal.” Sara gave him a look of adoration, he truly was an absolute wonder.

The look he gave her made Sara certain she would melt into a puddle in that moment. “And now I have someone to do it with.” His hand squeezed hers gently, inciting a happy sigh from her.

Her thumb caressed his hand as they gazed up at the holographic stars. “My mother is going to love you.” Jaal commented. Sara raised an eyebrow at him and giggled, squeezing his hand in response. “I’m... sorry.” he said abashedly.

“Don’t be.” She replied, bringing his gloved hand to her lips; she placed a kiss at the back of it, before setting it down. She wanted to kiss him again, but the moment was so lovely, she decided a second kiss could wait.

They stole glances at each other as they lay together, sharing sweet smiles, enjoying the moment. Sara’s eyes drifted toward the stars again, recalling a memory long-past.

“When I was young, my parents would take Scott and I to Earth a few times a year to visit our grandparents.” She smiled, imagining the breeze by the ocean. “They were relatively wealthy and lived on a little island that was so secluded, there was no light pollution.”

“How can light pollute?” Jaal asked. Sara chuckled, “On Earth, the population is so large and there are so many cities, that the artificial lights we used could be seen practically everywhere. The unfortunate side-effect is that it makes it very difficult to see the stars at night.”

She saw him grimace in her periphery. “That sounds terrible”

“Yeah, my grandparents were very lucky.” She agreed, before continuing her tale. “After dinner, I would sneak away to the beach by myself, and lay in the sand like this. Enjoying the stars and the sound of the waves hitting the shore.”

“You were alone?” he asked, the concept clearly foreign to him.

Sara squeezed his hand again. “For a little while, yes. Eventually Scott would come looking for me. He’d lay down beside me and together we would take turns pointing out all of the celestial bodies we recognized.” She stopped, her throat constricting at the thought of her twin. She felt her eyes sting; she desperately willed them not to.

He turned his head to face her, squeezing her hand in return. “You miss your brother.” Jaal stated. She hummed an affirmation, unable to face him, afraid the tears would truly come if she met his kind and caring gaze.

Sara swallowed thickly. “He used to point out Andromeda and say he could hear it calling to us. It was whimsical, at the time.” That had done it, she felt the hot drops slide down her temples. She sat up, releasing Jaal’s hand to wipe at her tears. “I’m so sorry Jaal, I didn’t mean to ruin this moment for us.”

She felt him sit up next to her. “Sara…” he whispered, saying nothing until she faced him. His hand cupped the side of her face. “You have not ruined anything, my light. You have made it better. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful memory with me.” He kissed her then, with a tenderness that made her heart weep. When his lips pulled away from hers, they continued their journey to her brow, her cheek, her jaw, and back again.

Sara sighed happily, putting her arm around his neck, enjoying the physical comfort he was giving her. She could not bring herself to words, so she peppered his face with kisses in return, pouring into them the gratitude and happiness she felt.

 

* * *

  

Sara Ryder sat in front of her computer terminal, trying to devise the perfect email to her -- boyfriend, partner, lover? She sighed in frustration, erasing the words she’d typed for what seemed like the hundredth time. All she wanted to do was ask him to come see her, something she’d done dozens of times.

Unfortunately, she had some questions and wasn’t sure if she should withhold them until he arrived or include them in the email. If she included them, how would she word them without making them sound unfeeling. Would an email be too impersonal? She didn’t think so; she thoroughly enjoyed reading the words he wrote to her, grinning like a fool all the while.

“Pathfinder. Might I advise taking a break. You have been sitting at your terminal for nearly an hour.” SAM suggested from beside her.

Sara grunted, “You’re right SAM. This isn’t going anywhere.” She stretched as she walked away from her desk, her muscles tense from her self-imposed task. She hadn’t seen Jaal since they’d returned from Havarl the day before and _stars_ she wanted to kiss him again. “Screw it. I’m just going to go find him, this is silly.” She muttered to herself.

“Hi Lexi, hi Liam.” Sara greeted the pair surrounding the center console as she approached the door to the tech lab.

“Heeeey Sara.” Liam greeted her with a smirk.

“Hello Ryder.” Lexi replied distractedly.

The sound of the door sliding open surprised Sara. “My darling one!” Jaal exclaimed as he exited the tech lab, circling her waist with his arms as he’d done countless times before. Sara instinctively put her hands on his broad shoulders, expecting to share their usual hug, despite his proclamation of _‘darling one’_.

She was surprised when he bent down to kiss her, but she didn’t resist; part of her had come seeking exactly this, though perhaps it wasn’t ideal that there were spectators. She let herself enjoy the brief kiss, the crew were bound to find out sooner or later.

“Hi… Jaal.” She said, smiling up at him after they pulled apart. “I uh, are you busy? I wanted to talk. Privately. Can you come to my room?” Sara managed to stutter out in as low a voice as she could manage.

“Of course, darling one, I always have time for you.” Jaal replied, his voice having come down to match her volume was beneficial in the discretion department, but it did not do any favors to the heat spreading through her.

“ _Oh._ Good.” She said with a wavering voice, turning on her heels to lead the way to her quarters.

“Remember that you have an appointment with me later, Ryder. I'll have plenty of questions for you.” Lexi called out as they walked away. Liam’s laughter followed them toward the bridge.

Sara didn't say a word until she and Jaal were safely behind the locked doors of her bedroom. “Well, that’s one question answered I suppose”, she commented mostly to herself, seating herself on the couch.

“Question?” Jaal inquired, following her to sit.

“Yes”, she hesitated, thinking herself silly for a moment. “I was wondering how and when it's typical for angara to kiss”.

Jaal looked pensive for a moment. “Hmm, whenever we want to. Do you humans have restrictions on kissing?” He looked mildly confused and disappointed.

“No! No, it’s just that individual couples sometimes do, I guess.” she sighed, this was not going as planned. “What I mean to say is: we may have different ideas about what is normal in a relationship, or even how we define relationships. So, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. We should decide, together, what we’re comfortable with.” Sara stared nervously up at him, she sat sideways, one leg tucked in so that her shin pressed against his thigh, her hands gripping her calf absentmindedly.

“Have I made you uncomfortable by kissing you in front of Liam and Lexi?” Apprehension clear in his eyes.

Sara shook her head, she was causing him undue stress with her over-analyzing. “Not at all Jaal. I’m perfectly comfortable kissing you in public.” She brought a hand to his cheek, her thumb caressing the scar there. “Just not excessively, that’s never fun for anyone.” She added with a nervous chuckle.

His hand covered hers, bringing it to his lips, where he pressed a kiss to her palm. “This is acceptable to me.” He agreed. “If I have answered one of your questions, will you answer one of mine?” His voice dropping into that delicious baritone she adored.

“Of course.” She nodded slowly.

“We have agreed to be together. I am yours, Sara. You have my heart.” He said softly, his low, husky tone sending chills down her spine. “Do I have yours?”

His words took her breath away, leaving her unable answer, though her mind was shouting _‘yes, yes, a million times yes’_. She leaned on the leg that was under her, vaulting her other leg over him, so that she straddled his lap. When words failed her, actions would have to do; she took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply, pouring all the adoration she felt for him into the kiss. He let out a soft moan beneath her, his hands coming to grip her hips. “Yes.” She finally whispered against his lips, leaning her forehead on his.

“Then what else matters? We must simply let that knowledge guide us through whatever we face.” He asked in hushed tones, nuzzling her face with his.

Sara sighed contentedly, enjoying the sweet gesture, “You’re right. We’ll learn as we go.” She planted a soft peck on his lips, her hands moving up to his techaan, caressing them with her fingertips. “Hands-on, right?” She said teasingly.

He made a happy sounding groan in his throat. “I can certainly think of a few place I’d like to put my hands.” Jaal growled playfully, while the appendages in question slid down her thighs and up again to grab her ass. She squealed in delighted surprised, giggling with enjoyment at the new sensation; his large hands grasping her tightly, the soft buzz of his bioelectricity surrounding them.

Her hands met his, pulling them away to bring them forward between their bodies. Her fingers worked their way under his gloves, freeing him from them while he watched. She pressed her palms against his, admiring them; they were much bigger than hers, different in color and shape, but so familiar. His hands escaped her, one reaching to caress her face gently, the other taking hold at the crease of her hip.

She kissed him again; lovingly, languidly, savoring the sensation of his soft lips against hers. Her hands wandered the grooves of this techaan, the small vibrations she felt coming from his chest thrilled her. His arms wrapped around her back, pulling her into him, one hand finding its way into her hair. Sara traced his bottom lip with the tip of her tongue experimentally, stirring a rumbling moan from his throat.

His mouth opened under hers, giving her permission to explore. She let her tongue slide against his briefly and felt his arms pull her closer, as though asking for more. She slipped into his mouth again, this time swirling her tongue against his, relishing the taste of him. His tongue was silky soft on hers, tasting and prodding in return. She took his lower lip between her full lips, pulling away from the kiss to tease a strained sigh of delight from him.

The hand in her hair pulled her head back gently, exposing her neck to his feathery kisses. His breath hot as he teased the sensitive skin, his teeth grazing lightly at her pulse. Sara mewled hopelessly at his ministrations, each sultry brush of his lips inciting tiny gasps of pleasure. “Darling.” Jaal growled, his tongue darting out to trace invisible circles near her collar. “Temptress.” He breathed, nipping at the line of jaw.

“Jaal…” Sara whispered breathlessly, her mind hazy from the heat of him; the searing kisses rousing a sweet ache inside her. “Sara… you are so beautiful.” He murmured against her neck, each word marked with lavish kiss. He brought her lips to his again, giving her a long, sensual kiss that left her dizzy.

She brought her hands up to hold his face, pressing her forehead to his; their breaths mingling together. “You… are amazing.” She sighed happily, chuckling softly as she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before letting her hands drop to his chest. He made a happy in his throat, stealing another soft kiss from her.

“That was… interesting.” He said with a smile. “Angara kiss a little differently than humans do.”

Sara felt her cheeks warm, “Really? You must be fast learner then, because that was spectacular.” She said with a crooked smile. “Is it a good different?” She asked hopefully. Her omni-tool pinged with an alarm -- it was time for her appointment with Lexi.

He pulled her into another lingering kiss, his teeth lightly grazing her lower lip. “Yes. Very.” Jaal said huskily. “Your kisses are sweeter than paripo and more intoxicating than tavum.”

Sara shook her head softly, feeling the heat inside her intensify; he made her feel like a hormonal teenager with the compliments he lavished upon her. He was entirely too skilled at leaving her speechless. She smiled and giggled, giving him one last sweet kiss before pulling herself off his lap, to stand.

“I have to go see Lexi.” She sighed in exasperation. “I don’t even know why. My bruises are well on their way to healing. And now she’s going to embarrass me about _us_.”

He grabbed her hand to keep her from leaving, his brow furrowing as he gazed up at her. “You are embarrassed of us?”

“No! No no no. Not even a little bit.” She crouched into a squat to be closer to eye-level with him, placing her free hand on his thigh for purchase. “That was a poor choice of words. What I mean is, she’s probably going to ask me invasive questions about the physical aspect of our relationship that I won’t have the answers for yet.” She squeezed his thigh in reassurance. “Believe me, I am not ashamed of being with you. I want to shout it from the rooftops.”

“Why would you -- ?” He started to ask.

She interrupted, “Sorry. Idiom. It means I’m happy and proud and I want everyone to know why.” Sara explained, smiling sweetly up at him.

“Good.” He beamed happily at her. “Then do not be embarrassed by Lexi’s questions. Tell her that we are learning and exploring, together. She must be patient if she wants answers.”

Sara giggled at him, “Good advice.” She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before rising to leave -- she was already late for her appointment. Sara walked backwards toward the door, “I’ll see you later, honey.” She tried out the term of endearment, unsure if it suited him.

Jaal seemed to liked it, if the smile on his face and the light in his eyes were any indication. “Stay strong and clear, darling one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Now things can get steamy. Seriously, fluff and smut incoming. Sorry to have kept you all waiting!
> 
> Thanks again for the kudos and comments!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Jaal are fluffy marshmallows that like to get a little toasted sometimes.

The Nexus leadership had given her a resounding, and surprisingly unanimous, _no_. It seemed the only thing they could agree upon was that she shouldn’t continue the search for Meridian. They needed more outposts, they needed more resources, they needed to get more people out of stasis. Sara understood all of these things, which was exactly why going after Meridian was so important -- they didn’t seem to understand that it was potentially the fastest way to achieve all of those things.

Sara was angry, but she knew she needed the support of the Nexus. She was trying to see the silver lining, deciding that it would be a good opportunity to go back to Voeld. Eska had given her blessing to settle an outpost, and there was a lot of help Sara knew they could provide to Voeld’s residents -- including resetting the vault.

They had been on Voeld for a few days, and the kett were already feeling the effects of their arrival. They’d taken out a few of the small outposts that still remained and destroyed various kett communication links to prevent them from gathering further intelligence.

Sara had also made it a priority to find the yevara poachers, as she and Jaal had discussed months before. The culprit was an angaran scientist, surprising them all; she hadn't been pleased with Sara's decision to suspend her research, but she’d left peacefully. Jaal had been grateful, unsure that he would have been able to make the decision on his own. He’d put an arm around her in that cold cave, pressing his lips to her temple in thanks.

Now they were back to their main focus, to reset the Remnant vault, so that they could establish an outpost for the Initiative. They were on their way to activating another monolith, the second of the three. “I'm detecting high speed winds heading in your direction, Pathfinder.” SAM informed suddenly.

Sara could see tendrils of snow rising just off of the ground, creeping along as the air made them dance. “Okay, what does that mean for us SAM?” She asked, suspecting that there was a storm on the way.

“There is a blizzard coming. The Nomad is capable of withstanding the decrease in temperature, but it will be difficult to maneuver with low visibility and powerful gusts. The ruins of Daar Eroesk are nearby. I suggest you take refuge there until the blizzard passes.” SAM explained.

“Will do, thanks SAM” Sara replied, sighing at the delay in their plans. She drove the Nomad into the abandoned daar, looking for somewhere to take shelter. “That one, to the right. It looks mostly intact.” She heard Jaal call out from the back of the Nomad. Sara could hear the soft hiss of the wind dragging the snow across the ground as she exited the vehicle.

They entered the house that Jaal had pointed out; Sara took point, gun drawn and biotics at the ready, with Peebee and Jaal just behind, at either side of her. They inspected the house quickly, it had been large once, but the most of it had been demolished by the kett and the snow, leaving only a small living space untouched.

“Well, at least we can rest for a while.” Peebee commented as she stretched, “I stayed up late working on POC so a nap sounds pre-tty great.”

It was colder than the Nomad, but it was less cramped, and they only needed to be there long enough to wait out the storm. “We need to warm it up a bit. Think we can get this heat lamp going?” Sara gestured toward the knocked over lamp, looking at Jaal questioningly.

“We should be able to, given a power source. I’ll take a look.” He replied, heading over to inspect it.

“I think there is a spare power cell in the Nomad we can use. We have a few blankets too.” Sara commented, indicating at Peebee to follow with a wave of her hand.

The pair brought the supplies in from the Nomad; the blizzard was already beginning -- the biting wind and blowing snow attacking them as they re-entered the house, making it difficult to close the door tightly behind them.

“It appears to be in working condition.” Jaal called out from beside the lamp as Sara approached with the power cell. The two of them worked quickly to rig the items together, working in quiet harmony to get it running. The room was by no means warm, but it was better than it had been, and the blankets would help in keeping the cold at bay.

Peebee was already curled up in a corner, having taken all but one blanket. Sara sighed “Peebee, you’ve left us a single blanket, give one to Jaal, please.” Their asari companion said nothing, seemingly already asleep.

Jaal chuckled beside her, “It’s alright, darling one. I have no need of a blanket. I am perfectly adapted to this temperature.” He soothed.

“See, he doesn’t need it.” Peebee called out, muffled beneath the blankets, clearly only pretending to have been sleeping.

Sara shook her head with a sigh, grabbing the lone blanket to wrap it around her shoulders. Jaal sat with his back leaning on the wall near the heat lamp, hand outstretched to help Sara sit beside him. She took it, settling herself on the floor next to him with her knees pulled up to her chest so that she could drape the cover over her legs.

Jaal put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to plant a kiss on her head. His warmth was helping Sara more than the blanket or heat lamp ever could; the heat coming from within filled her with tingles of affection. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder happily, “Mmm, you’re so warm.”

He chuckled softly, “You humans are so sensitive to the cold.”

She giggled in return, rubbing her cold nose on his rofjinn. “Yeah, a little.” She chuckled again, “There used to be this recurring theme about it, in some of the trashy romance novels I read when I was young.”

“How is an aversion to the cold romantic?” He asked teasingly.

Sara bit her lip, recalling the trope she’d read so many times. “Well, if humans are exposed to the cold for too long, it can cause our body temperature to drop. It’s called hypothermia and it has all sort of scary symptoms. Kind of like when angara go dark.” She explained.

He made a sound of consideration, “That does not sound romantic at all.”

She chortled softly. “No, definitely not. The thing is, we can get warmth from proximity. So the idea was that one person would be out in the cold, on the verge of hypothermia, and their love interest would come to rescue them.”

“Ah, I see. The act of rescuing someone for romance is a theme in some of our stories as well.” Jaal commented.

“Well, there was more to it than that.” She continued, smiling against his shoulder. “Body heat transfers more easily when there’s… nothing in the way. So eventually the _rescue_ would involve the couple getting undressed and pressing against each other. Which of course, led to… more intimate things.”

Jaal hummed in understanding. “I see. So the rescue was simply an excuse for sex. Why not omit the pretense?”

Sara giggled at his blunt question, pulling her head away to gaze up at him. “It was more than just an excuse. It was their way of getting to know each other in a dire situation, of showing vulnerability and trust. Though to be fair, maybe I’m giving the authors too much credit. They were _trashy_ romance novels. It was mostly about the fantasy.”

He smirked at her knowingly. “Is this your way of asking me to keep you warm? Should I remove my armor to save you from the cold?”

She blushed furiously, feeling face heat at the thought of Jaal naked. “No! I just -- well you _are_ warm and -- I was reminiscing, I guess.”

His brow furrowed slightly, “Your species is more restrictive on the topic of sex than I am accustomed to, though you are generally less so. Yet even you seem ashamed when the subject turns from the hypothetical.” He regarded her with a curious look. “You sought to read these kinds of stories from a young age, craving the knowledge of it… the fantasy, as you said -- but the reality makes you flush with embarrassment. There is a strange duplicity that I find difficult to understand.”

She offered him an apologetic smile. “It’s a troublesome topic for us. Sex is treated as very private thing, even though it’s a normal part of our lives. We seldom talk about it freely, and when we do, it is usually with people we're close to. How do angara treat it?” She asked curiously.

“Much like anything else. Questions are asked and answered without any shame or discomfort.” The hand on her shoulder squeezed gently. “I do not wish to make you feel ashamed, darling one, but I want us to be open about our desires.” He told her, his voice low and soft.

“I…” Sara’s eyes drifted toward the sleeping asari at the other end of the room, giving Jaal a weak smile. She lowered her voice so that Peebee wouldn’t overhear. “I am comfortable with you. Truly. I think you may be misinformed about what causes my cheeks to redden. Embarrassment is a reason, but not the only one. In this case, it was more… arousal at the thought of you naked.” She admitted, biting her lip as she stared up him.

He smiled widely before leaning his head down to kiss her softly; his lips were sweet and comforting, his hand came to her neck, thumb caressing her jaw as they drank each other in. His kisses always made her feel heady, even when they were gentle, they lit a fire inside of her that was exhilarating. Everything about him was delicious, she wanted to see him naked again -- intentionally this time -- to explore every inch of him with her lips.

His pulled away from the kiss, his hand still softly cradling her face. “Darling, you are so beautiful.” He murmured gently.

She smiled dreamily at him, bringing a hand out from under the blanket to let her fingertips stroke his cheek affectionately. “You know. A thought just occured to me.” Sara commented, as she admired the way his lips plumped after they kissed. “I have you at a disadvantage.”

“Oh? I do not _feel_ disadvantaged.” He replied with low chuckle.

Sara smiled indulgently at him, “Mmm, the thing is… I’ve seen you naked, but you can’t say the same of me.” She bit her lower lip, raising a brow coquettishly.

He made a sound of consideration in his throat. “I suppose you are correct. But... this is not a disadvantage, dearest. I do not need to gaze upon your naked form to know that you are beautiful.”

Sara felt herself blush again, that hadn’t been what she’d been referring to, but it was certainly something she’d thought about. They were alien to each other, after all -- and while she had grown up among aliens, finding beauty in other species -- he was only accustomed to angara. Somehow, it didn’t seem to bother to him; he’d said she was beautiful and meant it.

She smiled sweetly at him before planting a soft kiss on his lips. “You’re sweet, but one day we will correct this… imbalance, and I hope you enjoy my nudity as much as I did yours.” Sara whispered seductively.

It was Jaal’s turn to blush now, she noted, as streaks of blue tinged his cheeks. She peppered his face with kisses, giggling all the while; his happy smile warming her heart.

 

* * *

  

The drinks were flowing on the Tempest, the meeting room turned into a place of celebration and drunkenness. Rightly so. They had established an outpost on Voeld, and while it was still not enough to satisfy the Nexus leadership, it was definitive progress. Sara wasn’t satisfied either, she was still convinced that finding Meridian was the better choice, but she could only hope that these small victories would get her the support she needed. It was a step in the right direction at least, Taerve Uni would be the perfect place to build stronger ties with the angara.

Sara took a swig of the beer she held, it wouldn’t get her drunk, but it tasted surprisingly good considering it was probably brewed in some backwater shanty on Kadara. She watched her crew from her perch at the top of the stairs, most were tied up in a game of poker with Gil, laughing and drinking happily despite their losses in the game. Liam was making sure everyone was topped off, clearly trying to get the whole crew as drunk as possible. Lexi, Kallo, and Suvi were chatting amicably by themselves, the latter gesticulating excitedly in the conversation.

She cared about each and every one of these people; they were a great team, skilled and talented, and they had accomplished a great deal. Sara looked at the scene fondly, her little make-shift family were a wonderful bunch and she was eternally grateful to the universe for having put each of them in her life. She knew she wouldn’t have been nearly as successful as she had been without her team, SAM included, despite the lack of a physical presence in the room.

They truly were like a family, they fought and argued, laughed and cried; they had learned to trust each other, learned that they could depend on one another. Sara had suffered enough losses to know that she needed to appreciate this terrific crew of hers as much as possible. They made Andromeda feel like home and gave her the strength she needed to keep fighting.

“I’m out! There is no winning against you!” Peebee shouted exasperatedly, rising from the table after another loss. “Ryder! Come dance with me.” She beckoned at Sara, already moving her body to the beat of the music. Sara smiled at the asari, downing the rest of the beer before going to join her. The song was upbeat and the pair swung their hips in unison, their arms gracefully swimming through the air around them.

Liam joined them in their dancing, bringing each of them a shot of a bright blue, tart liquor that made Sara’s mouth tingle. “What was that?” She asked, her body gyrating to the beat of the song, each pulse marked with a sharp drop of her hips.

“Maiden’s Folly!” Peebee supplied Sara with the answer before turning to Liam. “How did you get your hands on a bottle?”

“Vetra is a magician. Also, I’m pretty sure the asari were really thankful after we helped get their arc to the Nexus.” Liam replied, dancing happily beside them.

“I like it. It’s an asari drink?” Sara asked.

“Yeah, it’s a hard liquor that has a slow absorption rate, made for biotic metabolisms.” Peebee answered, giving her a wink and a wicked smirk.

Sara laughed, knowing she’d be in serious trouble if she had too much of it. Her biotics made it difficult to get drunk on human alcohols, but asari and krogans drinks were a different story entirely. Still, she had only gotten truly drunk once in her life and she was certainly not looking to repeat the ordeal. Tipsy suited her just fine, enough to let loose and have fun, without the poor life choices and raging hangover.

Her eyes roamed back toward the poker table to find Jaal watching her intensely; the smoldering look he gave her sent a shiver down her spine. She met his gaze, swaying her body to the rhythm while she lost herself in his stare; he looked at her as though she were an oasis in a desert and he wanted nothing more than to take a drink.

Sara’s eyes shifted to Gil when he frantically waved his hand in Jaal’s face to get his attention; she giggled, watching Jaal take a sip of his drink, and smile apologetically at the others around the table. Vetra and Cora giggled tipsily, leaning into each other conspiratorially to whisper behind their cards. Drack and Gil shook their heads disbelievingly, both chuckling at the scene. Jaal placed his bet casually, seemingly unabashed by his momentary distraction, he took another swig of his drink before flashing Sara a little smile that made her heart skip.

“Oi, Ryder.” Liam called out to her, no longer dancing beside her but instead carrying more shots toward her and Peebee. She took one, trying to rid herself of the feeling Jaal’s hungry gaze had stirred inside her. Peebee took one as well, clinking her shot glass to Sara’s before they tossed the pretty blue liquid down their throats. Liam took a shot of the Maiden’s Folly over to Cora, who happily drank it, holding it up toward the pair of dancing biotics in a mock toast.

Sara continued dancing with Peebee, joined in short stints by Liam and Suvi. She did her best not to look over at the poker table, she was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol and she knew her libido would be on the rise. She focused on the sounds around her, the music, the lively chatter, the laughter -- especially Jaal’s, she really like that boisterous laugh of his, it always made her smile. It felt good to relax and let loose, to simply enjoy the moment and the company of her great friends.

Soon Cora and Vetra had abandoned the poker game as well, choosing instead to join in the dancing. Sara took Cora by the hand, twirling her around playfully to the beat of the song, Vetra cheered and Suvi clapped. Liam brought more shots, Sara nearly declined, but she really liked the sharp, tangy taste of it.

“To fun!” Peebee exclaimed, holding her glass in the air.

“To Taerve Uni!” Cora stated, raising her shot as well.

“To good booze!” Vetra added, holding a bright pink drink that looked wholly unappealing to Sara.

She laughed, toasting her shot glass to everyone around her -- even Suvi was doing a shot of something amber. “To Liam! For playing bartender tonight.” She added belatedly, tossing her arm around his shoulders for a sideways hug. "Oh, and for promising to never get us airlocked again.” She joked.

Liam laughed, returning the hug with an arm around her shoulders. “Hey! That was partially your fault. You’re the one who shot the comm and pissed him off.” He took a long swig of his beer, smiling cheekily at her.

She released him with a laugh and shrugged flippantly, “Fair enough.” She admitted, going back to dancing gleefully. Sara was really feeling the Maiden’s Folly, her head felt tingly and light -- she was definitely buzzed and needed to stop the drinking before she ventured into drunken territory. She glanced over at Jaal, suddenly overcome with the urge to kiss him, she made her way over to the poker table.

Lexi had joined in the poker game and was nursing a glass of what appeared to be wine, the small smile on her face an indicator that she was enjoying herself. Sara was glad, she knew the doctor took her job very seriously, and they did not make it easy on her -- it was good to see her more relaxed.

Jaal’s arm snaked around Sara’s hips as she approached, gently luring her to his side -- apparently she wasn’t the only one in need of physical affection. Sara smiled down at him, putting her arm around his shoulders to lean down and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. He smiled happily back at her, his eyes a little unfocused; he nuzzled his face into her waist when she straightened. Sara couldn’t keep the smile from her lips -- it was simultaneously sweet and enticing, like everything about him.

“Let me guess, Gil is winning?” Sara asked them playfully, earning chuckles from the table.

“Haha.” Gil mocked. “If you could go back to dancing and distract your man some more, that would be helpful. We likely only have a few hands left and he’s been getting lucky.”

Sara laughed. “The poker champion needs dirty tactics to win? I can’t believe my ears.”

“What you call dirty tactics, I call a _situational advantage_.” He proclaimed in rebuttal.

“Kid’s right. It’s nobody’s fault but your own that you two are sweet on each other.” Drack added in Gil’s defense.

Sara shook her head and chuckled, “Sorry Jaal, I’ve been asked to divert your attention.” She said with mock regret before bending down to kiss him sensually -- the alcohol in her system allowing for the disregard of their audience.

She pulled away, leaving him with a dreamy look on his face. “I would forsake my luck and my fortune for another taste of your lips.” Jaal murmured, staring up at her longingly.

“Holy fuck. I think I get it now Ryder.” Gil muttered in amazement.

Sara pressed a hand to her cheek in a pathetic attempt to keep the blush from her face. “Right. Yes. That won’t be necessary. Just… find me later.” Sara replied with a giggle and a smile before retreating back to her dancing crewmates.

\---------

“So I take it you enjoyed watching me dance?” Sara panted, her back pressing into the locked door of her bedroom. An affirmative grunt was the only response she received from the angara currently attempting to consume her with kisses. After a few hours of enjoying the festivities, the pair had finally managed to sneak away for some alone time.

She giggled, basking in the sultry, open-mouthed, trail of kisses he was making down her neck; one of his hands was buried in her hair, the other had found its way under the hem of her shirt, his skin warm on her waist. His mouth came up to meet hers, his lips were fervent and hurried, pulling a moan from her throat that he echoed against her lips.

He slowed his pace, pulling away from the kiss to press his forehead to hers. “I found your movements very enticing.” He admitted huskily, his breath faster than normal.

Sara was already fairly tipsy from the shots of Maiden’s Folly, the addition of Jaal’s delicious mouth was making her head spin pleasurably. His tongue tasted herbal and smoky from whatever he had been drinking, it was surprisingly pleasant. She used the arm she had draped around his neck to pull him down for a soft kiss, her plump lips grazing over his.

“Do angara dance?” She asked in a whisper, her mouth dropping sweet kisses on his neck, tongue darting out to taste him.

“Yes, but the motions are more pronounced -- harsher.” He replied, his breath still quickened. “The type of movements you were making are meant for… seduction.” The hand at her waist tightened slightly to bring her body closer to his, making his thigh press between her legs salaciously.

Sara kissed him again, this time more firmly; the hand on his lower back pulling him intimately against her so that there was no space between them. She moaned against his lips at the delicious feeling of him enveloping her senses. He smelled faintly floral and fresh, like the woods of Havarl after a rainstorm. His bulk surrounded her, eclipsed her small frame within his so that her world existed only of him. She let out a hopeless whine when he nipped at her lower lip, nearly pulling away, only to crush his mouth hungrily to hers again.

Sara opened her eyes as his lips parted from hers to find the room spinning, the combination of alcohol and their passionate kissing was making her heady. They were both breathing heavily and Sara was finding it increasingly difficult to focus. “We should to lie down, the room doesn’t want to keep still.” She murmured with a giggle, loosening her hold on Jaal.

He released her, but stayed close, letting her grab his hands to lead him to the bed. Sara threw herself down on the mattress, her knees hanging over the side; she stared up at him, admiring how wonderfully large he was by comparison. Jaal chuckled down at her, “I think, we are both a bit intoxicated, my darling temptress.”

Sara giggled and nodded, “Oh definitely.” She sat up, her face right in front of his abdomen; she planted a kiss there before leaning to each side to remove her boots, leaving little kisses on his legs as she did so. “You have massive thighs. They are so incredibly sexy.” She remarked approvingly, turning to her eyes up to meet his gaze.

Jaal’s hand cupped her face, his thumb caressing over her lips as he looked at her with hooded eyes. He moved away from the bed, his hands finding the clasp of his rofjinn to remove it. Sara watched him fold it carefully and place it on the nearby chair, before bending down to slip out of his boots. She let out an appreciative sigh as he approached the bed again, looking almost like a predator stalking its next kill.

She let out a tiny delighted squeal when he picked her up, turning her so that her head landed among the pillows. Jaal crawled over her, their legs interlaced between each other; his frame tilted to one side, leaning on one arm as his body covered hers, his free hand catching her hip. Sara wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him passionately.

He let out a happy rumble from his chest, opening his mouth over hers to deepen their kiss. Sara moaned beneath him, his soft tongue stroking hers making her ache for more; her outside leg hooked around his hip instinctively. Jaal groaned her name, breaking away from her lips to bite gently at her neck. She tilted her head back instinctively to give him better access, her fingers finding their way to his techaan.

Sara felt his hand making its way under the hem of her shirt again, his soft palm heating her skin. She pulled his face up to hers, kissing him fervently; she was exhilarated at the feel of him, his affections rousing a fire within her. Her hand grasped his under her shirt, guiding it to lift the piece of clothing further up her torso.

She whimpered softly as she felt his hand splay over her belly, releasing tiny sparks of electricity; arousal shot through her at the sensation. He immediately pulled away, rolling off to lie beside her. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” He asked worriedly.

Sara was panting, trying to catch her breath, she shook her head at him. “I’m more than alright.” She managed to breathe out. Raising herself up slightly, she slipped out of her shirt, leaving only her sports bra. “Everything about this -- about you -- is amazing.” She pulled him into another sensual kiss, using the leg still at his hip to pull their bodies together again.

A low moan escaped him, his hands seemed to be everywhere at once, caressing as much of her exposed skin as he could get to. Her tongue made gentle sweeps over his lips, dipping into his mouth find its pair and back out so that her lips could lightly suck on his. She abated the kiss slowly, teasing him with ever softer kisses until she was barely touching his lips. Sara smiled at him as their eyes met, admiring the blissful look on his face, knowing she’d played a part in it.

“You are enchanting.” Jaal whispered, moving over her once more; he dipped lower this time, dropping kisses across her clavicle. His lips brushed to top of breasts before stopping; he glanced up to meet her eyes, silently asking for permission. Sara bit her lip and nodded, taking his hand to capture one of her full globes in it. A small gasp escaped him, “You are so wondrously soft.” He murmured, experimentally giving her a gentle squeeze.

“Mhmm.” She agreed, stifling a moan as his thumb slowly grazed the marbled apex of her breast. Jaal nuzzled his face into her chest, leaving small kisses over the fabric of her bra as his hand continued to tease her mercilessly. She gasped delightedly when his teeth tentatively raked over her nipple, following the action with a soothing kiss. His lips met hers again, burning and sensual; she heard him growl softly from deep within his chest, he pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavily.

Jaal moved to settle himself beside her, slipping an arm around her shoulders to hold her close. “I am sorry my darling. I fear you are quickly becoming... irresistible. Perhaps we should let our heads clear.” He suggested between panted breaths, brushing a kiss to her forehead.

Sara turned on her side, nuzzling her head into his shoulder. “Yeah okay, this is nice too. There’s no need to rush.” She sighed contentedly, curling up next to him as closely as she could. She was a little disappointed, but she’d meant what she said, they could take their time; this was new and unprecedented for both of them. “That felt really good though. It would seem your great instincts aren’t exclusive to combat.” She commented, wanting to offer encouragement since her body was obviously alien to him.

“That is not helping.” He lips met hers again, soft and sensual; she smiled against his mouth, trying to suppress a giggle. “The drinks and your mouth, your skin -- I feel…” He growled again, his hand spread over her ribs. “You are a star and I risk flying too close, you will burn me if I am not careful and I am _not good_ at being careful.”

Her brow furrowed, worried that in her inebriated state she had pushed him too quickly -- but he had been the one to initiate their make-out session, pressing her against the door the minute they’d stepped into the room. He’d mentioned that his people were open about sex, as with most other things, so it seemed unlikely that he was feeling pressured and was simply being vague. “I think I’m missing something, honey. Are you afraid I’ll hurt you?” She asked gently, her hand stroking his face affectionately.

“No, my sweet Sara, I trust you with my heart. This is… new -- you are so _achingly beautiful_. I am nervous… and intoxicated. But if we are to explore each other, I want to be drunk only with the taste of you.” He admitted, his fingers drawing soft circles on her waist. He sighed against her hair, “My desire for you is surprising in its intensity, I do not wish to frighten you.” He explained, his voice hushed and raspy with want.

Sara was certain she was blushing to the roots of her hair, unsure how he managed to simultaneously sound so sweet and utterly lascivious. “Oh Jaal.” She kissed him softly, nuzzling her face to his. “I’m nervous too, but I am not frightened. I…” She paused, lifting her head to meet his eyes. “I want you so profoundly that I’m not even sure I can put it into words.” She confessed with a shy smile, feeling the heat on her cheeks intensify; trying to communicate at his level of openness. “But, you’re right. We should relax, clear our heads. When we do decide to… take this further, I want to be completely lucid so I can commit every delicious moment to memory.”

She realized her words were true in more ways than one; she’d never felt so strongly in her past relationships. Not physically and certainly not emotionally, though she had definitely found herself aroused and aching in the past, she’d never felt as powerful a yearning for another person as she felt for Jaal. The thought was both thrilling and terrifying -- she realized she now understood what he’d meant in calling her a star. Sara brushed her lips to his, her head still tingled with dizziness from the Maiden’s Folly, but her only thought was that kissing him was infinitely more pleasurable.

“I adore you, Sara.” Jaal murmured softly as she snuggled into his shoulder again, her arm wrapping around his torso. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead again, “Tell me something. You mentioned that it is difficult for you to become inebriated due to your biotics, and yet here we are.” He asked, his tone playful.

Sara giggled, “Yeah, it is with human alcohols, but Liam was giving me shots of an asari liquor that definitely did the trick.” Her fingertips caressed the plain of his abdomen absently. “It’s not too bad, I stopped drinking when I felt it kick in. I’ve only ever gotten properly drunk once.” She admitted.

“Oh? Tell me the story.” He requested, his hand gliding slowly over her lower back, making abstract shapes; Sara could hear the smile in his voice.

“That is not a story I am proud of… but I can’t say no to you.” Sara said laughingly. “It was the day after my 16th birthday. I had an asari friend on the Citadel, Raila, who wanted to do something special for my birthday, because she’d read that it was the ‘coming-of-age’ celebration in some human cultures.”

Sara giggled at the memory, hooking her fingers into the straps of Jaal’s armor. “She was young too, maybe 52. Anyway, she got us a few bottles of some cheap asari alcohol that tasted like death. I showed up to her place with Scott and his krogan friend, Rakvot. The four of us drank entirely too much and we were all completely sloshed.”

She shook her head against his shoulder in shame, though the memory amused her. “We ended up in one of the lakes on the Presidium. I had somehow ended up in my underwear, making out with a topless Raila in the water. Scott and Rakvot were ‘riding’ the krogan statue that stood in the middle of that lake.”

Jaal laughed deeply, his arm tightening around her. “I would like to have seen that. My fierce warrior, who is always so logical and composed, behaving so mischievously. I can hardly imagine it.” He chuckled indulgently, his fingers gently trailing up her arm.

“Well believe it. Citadel Security took us in pretty quickly. Luckily, we all got off with nothing more than a warning, because of our parents. Rakvot’s dad was a business magnate on the Citadel, Raila’s mom was an ambassador, and dad was -- well, dad.” Sara sighed sadly. “My dad always kept control of his temper, but I could tell he was livid. I felt terrible afterward, and not just because of all the drinking. I had never seen so disappointed in me.” She felt her eyes sting at the recollection, even after all these years her father’s disappointment made her chest ache.

“What about you?” She asked, trying to push the memory away. “Tell me about the first time you got drunk.”

His fingers brushed softly through her hair as he spoke.“It was after my first vesaal on Aya, I was around the same age as you. When I got back to Havarl, some of my brothers and sisters were trying to cheer me up, so they took me out for drinks.” Jaal chuckled mirthlessly.

“In my sorrow, I drank much more than I should have. We were all so intoxicated that we were thrown out of the establishment. We drunkenly made our way back home and eventually found ourselves at a nearby cenote” He explained. “I dove in without a second thought. It felt wonderful, the water was cool and refreshing, washing away the heartache, if only for a moment.”

Sara pressed small, comforting kisses to his neck; she knew his heart was healed of that specific pain, but felt the need to soothe him anyway. He sighed contentedly, planting another kiss to her forehead.

“It was a dangerous thing to do. I was lucky to not injure myself during the climb back up; it is treacherous to scale those uneven walls during the day, but at night -- it is a miracle I was able to reach the top.” He elaborated.

“Why does that not surprise me. You are a marvel, Jaal Ama Darav.” Sara commented before yawning widely, “Mmm, m’sleepy.”

“I will leave you to sleep, darling.” Jaal said, pulling away to rise from the bed.

Sara used the arm at his waist to stop him, “I’d prefer if you stayed… if you want to, that is.” She asked pleadingly, she was enjoying cuddling with him and selfishly hoping to keep him there.

Jaal smiled brightly at her. “Of course.” He replied, settling himself closer to her once more. Sara maneuvered the covers out from under them to tuck them both in.

“Is this okay? Are you comfortable.” She asked shyly.

“I don’t generally sleep in my armor, but I can bare it for one night.” He answered, giving her a gentle kiss.

“You don’t have to keep it on, I _really_ don’t mind.” She answered coquettishly, pulling away from him to remove her pants beneath the sheets; she normally slept naked, but thought it safer to keep her underwear on. She made a show of throwing her discarded trouser out from under the sheets.

“Temptress.” He growled at her, before conceding. Sara could see his hands making fast work of his armor’s buckles beneath the covers. He slid out of the suit, tossing it out to the floor as she had done; he paused for a moment, glancing at her unsurely. She giggled shyly, shifting to curl up at his side again, her skin pressed against his.

“Better?” She asked, her hand roaming the expanse of his chest, learning the grooves, dips, and bumps.

He pulled her in for another sweet kiss. “I can think of few things more satisfying.” He rumbled with a flirtatious smirk on his lips.

Sara drifted off to sleep with a happy smile on her face, Jaal’s hand buried in her hair, his steady breathing a lullaby in her ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, lots of fluff with a touch of sexiness. This chapter ended up being a bit longer than I expected, but I don't think that's a bad thing.
> 
> I hope Jaal's voice came through like I wanted it to. The idea was to make him sound like himself (eloquent), but a little incoherent, because alcohol.
> 
> As always, thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments. <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kadara still sucks, but spending time together is a good distraction.

Kadara was still a shithole, Sara thought bitterly as she exited Tartarus, the smell of sulfur giving her the urge to gag with its invasion of her nostrils. She  _really_ didn’t like this planet, it made her skin crawl and her insides feel caustic. She waited for Cora and Drack to follow her onto the lift, hitting the button harder than strictly necessary in her displeasure.

Roekaar murderers, vicious exiles, unethical scientists; the past few days had confirmed that this wretched planet was filled the worst kinds of outlaws. Frustratingly, the opposite was also true, they had come across a slew of decent people who were just trying to get by. People who had been disappointed by the Nexus, who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, or who simply hadn’t wanted to wait to start their lives.

It vexed her to no end that the exiles had been their first introduction to the angara; it was no wonder she was still dealing with the Roekaar despite Akksul’s fall from grace. Sloane had saved the angara from the kett, but her regime had quickly become something twisted, letting her people treat the natives as harshly as they pleased. Not to mention the abuse of the people who had followed her cause, throwing them out to the adhi and the sulfurous water if they couldn’t pay her ridiculous extortion fees. Sara huffed angrily at the thought, stomping up the ramp to the Tempest.

“Let’s go to Kralla’s after we drop off our gear, kid. You need a drink.” Drack rumbled beside her as he worked on unloading his weapons.

“Maybe later Drack. I need some filtered air for a while.” Sara replied, knowing that what she really needed was to time to think and relax. And a shower, she thought wistfully as Gil helped her out of her armor; the stench of Kadara was an unwelcome souvenir that always clung to her hair and skin.

Sara made a beeline for the bathroom once she had freed herself of her equipment, happy to find the showers empty, though freshly used -- droplets of water still clinging to the walls. She disrobed quickly, sliding in under the spray with a satisfied sigh. The scent of her soap was a relief to her suffering nose, the notes of sandalwood, vanilla, and jasmine chasing away the acrid smell of sulfur. She lathered hurriedly, wanting simply to rid herself of the planet’s stench.

Military showering, her dad had called it; getting the important parts cleaned as quickly as possible while conserving water. It wasn’t something they really had to worry about on the Tempest, the ship’s water filtration system was highly advanced and incredibly efficient. Still, the timed showers of her childhood served her well on many occasions; she’d learned later in life that some people didn’t know how to get clean in under five minutes.

Sara dried herself with equal speed, wrapping the towel around her body to walk the short steps to her quarters. She wanted to get dressed and head to the tech lab to see Jaal; yearning to be in his arms after another awful day on Kadara. He had been with her out on the field for the past few days, but had pleadingly asked to stay on the Tempest for today. She couldn’t blame him, after they’d come across the entire town of angara who had been surreptitiously massacred by the inhabitants of Charybdis Point, she could understand Jaal’s need for a break from the planet.

“Darling one!” Jaal exclaimed in greeting as the doors to her bedroom opened. Sara nearly squeaked in surprise, though this wasn’t the first time he’d done this. He had taken to spending time in her room even when she wasn’t present. Sara found that she wasn’t bothered by it in the least, she was glad that he felt comfortable enough to do so and happy to have him there.

“Hi Jaal.” She replied, making sure her towel was secured around her body. Jaal smiled at her from the couch, a container of hydrogenated ash salve on the coffee table in front of him, his fingers working it diligently into his techaan. It was part of his daily after-shower ritual, she knew -- she’d participated in it before, helping him rub the salve into the soft folds. Sara blushed at the memory, recalling how his large hands had spread lotion over her naked back in return.

Sara huddled into the corner where she kept her clothes, noting that Jaal’s rofjinn was neatly folded on the nearby chair. She slipped into her panties underneath the towel. “Want some help?” She called out to Jaal once she’d pulled on a tank top and pants to relax in, using the towel to dry off her hair.

“I would love some.” He replied, sliding down to sit on the floor in front of the couch when she approached. Sara hung her towel on the railing and circled around to sit behind him, her legs opening widely to accommodate his broad shoulders as she settled into the cushions. Jaal rested his head between her thighs, leaning back to look up at her; she tilted forward to press an upside down kiss against his lips. “Hey there handsome.” She said with a smile, taking the jar of salve from his outstretched hand.

Jaal gave her a pleased smile before pulling his head forward again to give her access to his techaan. Sara scooped the balm onto her fingertips; her small hands and the spread of her fingers making it possible to reach multiple folds at once. She smeared the salve into each crease, going back to rub it gently into the velvety skin.

“Did I miss out of anything of note today?” Jaal asked, his tone relaxed and happy, hands stroking her calves softly.

She made a sound of disgust. “Nothing good, that’s for certain.” She sighed and shook her head. “We found the culprits of the murders Reyes asked us to look into. He was right, it was the Roekaar.”

Jaal grunted in understanding, turning his head momentarily to plant a kiss at the back of her knee. “Why are we here, Sara?” He asked with a heavy sigh.

She exhaled sharply before answering, “We need to stand united against the kett. The Outcasts and the Collective are going to bring more war to Heleus. There has to be something we can do to stop that from happening.”

“For what purpose? Let them fight amongst themselves while we pursue the kett and Meridian. I know that’s what you want, darling. It’s clear on your face after every conversation you have with Tann.” He asserted gently, his fingers gently massaging her soleus muscles.

Sara frowned, her fingers still meticulously working the salve into his techaan.“You know the Nexus leadership are demanding more outposts. Kadara would make for a viable location if we could stabilize it.”

“That would require more than resetting the vault, Sara. We would need to do something about that vile Kelly woman, and I don’t think she’ll willingly step away from her role as a tyrant.” His volume rising slightly with increased vehemence.

“I know, Jaal.” She murmured, placing a kiss at the top of his head placatingly. “I think our best move is to see how it all plays out with the Charlatan. Sloane doesn’t want anything to do with the Initiative. Placing an outpost right at her doorstep would be a disaster, unless we could somehow change her mind. Even then, I don’t know that I’d want to get into bed with her.” Sara shuddered in distaste, her hands falling to his shoulders -- having completed their task.

Jaal turned his torso to face her, looking confused. “I sincerely hope that is one of your idioms.”

Sara chuckled weakly, realizing what she’d said. “Yeah, don’t worry. You are the only person I actually want to get into bed with. It is just figurative way to say you are making an ally of someone or merging your interest with theirs” She explained soothingly, leaning forward to kiss him gently.

“I’m worried.” She admitted, reclining against the couch again, her hand reaching out to cover the one he had placed on her thigh. “Worried about Kadara, about the people here. I feel responsible, even though it makes no logical sense, but I just think… if they’d had their Pathfinders...” She sighed heavily as she shook her head, her hands brushing her still-damp hair out of her face. “Fuck…”

Jaal stood, moving to sit beside her. “Darling, there is no need for you to carry that weight. The people of Kadara are loathsome and undeserving of your worry.”

“They’re my people, Jaal. And they’re not all bad, plenty of them just got caught up in the disappointment of it all. I know it’s useless to feel guilty about a past that I had no control over, but _I’m here now_. I don’t know that I could live with myself if I didn’t try to bring as many as possible back into the Initiative.” Sara explained, her head relaxing onto his shoulder.

“You are too compassionate, dearest.” He sighed into her hair, his arm encircling her shoulders to pull her close. “I love that about you. Your spirit glows with a kindness that draws me in.”

Sara’s mouth quirked into a small smile. “Don’t pretend it’s not a trait we share. Given the chance, you would do everything in your power to save the Roekaar from themselves. In fact, you already have.” She contended.

He chuckled softly. “I suppose the scar on my cheek agrees with you.”

She chuckled in return, raising her head to meet his eyes. She brought her hand up to cup his face, leveraging her hold to pull him in for a sweet, lingering kiss.

“I understand, darling one.” He said when she settled back into his shoulder. “Though I still think this planet is contemptible.” He admitted, his tone half-joking.

“Oh don’t worry, I am well aware. I can’t possibly forget with how often you remind me.” Sara replied playfully.

Jaal chuckled lightly, nuzzling his face into her hair. “You smell wonderful.” He murmured softly against her head.

“I hate it here too. Fighting the kett is one thing, but having to fight our own people…” Sara stopped herself, realizing her mistake. Kadara was the one place where Jaal had technically _not_ fought his own people, in one form or another. She pulled her head away to meet his gaze again, looking at him sadly. “Sorry, that was insensitive.”

“It’s alright, Sara. If there is a sentiment I can empathize with, it is that one.” He soothed, his thumb coming to follow the line of her jaw. He kissed her affectionately, his lips moving slowly over hers in an agonizingly sweet dance. Sara felt him shift, his arm hooked under her knees, pulling her into his lap without parting their lips. She moaned happily against his mouth, enjoying the exquisite taste of him and the pleasant warmth of their proximity.

“I missed you today, my beautiful temptress.” He whispered huskily into her ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down her spine. Sara smiled happily, her arms circling his neck to bring him in for another kiss. “I missed you too. What did you do with your day?” She asked, when she pulled away from his lips, moving to drop kisses along his jaw and in the crease of his neck.

Jaal hummed contentedly, “Liam helped me make some modifications to my omni-tool. We were able to increase the processing speed by two percent.” He recounted proudly. “After he left for the Port, I spent my day catching up on reports to Efvra and tinkering in my room.” He let out a soft moan as her teeth grazed the skin of his neck.

“That’s wonderful honey. Sounds like you had a nice day off. Are you still working on that electricity-amplifying firaan?” She asked, leaning back on the arm he had around her waist.

“Not today. I was planning something for you.” He confessed, the hand he had on her leg moving up to squeeze her thigh gently.

“Oh? Are you going to show me what it is?” She asked with a smile, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He chuckled softly, “Not until it is finished. It’s a surprise.”

“Mmm, I can hardly wait.” She admitted with a giggle, leaning in for another taste of his lips. Jaal’s hand was splayed out against her ribs, she could feel his thumb making small strokes at the underside of her breast. He shifted under her, removing the arm that was wrapped around her and leaning his body over to lay her down on the couch.

Sara released her hold around his neck, allowing him to pull away. “I would be glad to join you tomorrow, if you wish. Though I am not eager to venture out into Kadara again, I desire to be at your side.” He told her, moving further down so that he could plant kisses along her flat belly, his hand deftly lifting her tank top out of the way, bundling it below her breasts.

“Mhmm.” She agreed before moaning delightedly at the soft, open-mouthed kisses he trailed over her torso. His hand followed the line of her body up from her thigh, stopping only to gently squeeze the crease of her hip before continuing its journey upward. His fingers grazed lightly over her ribs, teasing under the fabric of her shirt to caress beneath the hidden globes.

“I dream of these moments with you, darling. When we are out on the battlefield, I watch you -- I am mesmerized.” He whispered against her skin between kisses, her fingers stroking his techaan all the while. “You move with such grace and power. When our shots ring out in unison, I feel so connected to you. It makes me yearn to be alone with you, to shower you with my admiration.” He confessed, his voice deep and seductive.

Sara felt herself blushing at the combination of his sweet words and his affectionate caresses. She bit her lip, looking at him with heavy-lidded eyes, “If you’re trying to charm me out of my clothes, it’s definitely working.”

He smirked at her, his hand hovering just under her breasts, poised to remove the garment that covered them. “May I?” He asked, the sexy crooked smile still adorning his beautiful lips.

“Yes.” She affirmed, arching her back to help him sweep the tank top over her head. Sara blushed deeply as she watched his eyes roam over her naked torso, a look of wonderment on his face. He kissed her sternum, the hood that framed his face lightly brushing over her nipples.

“You are magnificent.” He murmured, his lips making concentric circles on one ample breast, his hand softly caressing the other. She mewled helplessly when his mouth finally circled the stiff peak, his soft tongue darting out to wet it. Jaal raised his eyes to meet hers, watching her as he pinched her nipple lightly between his teeth, his lips drawing it into his mouth to suck at it gently.

Sara’s hips arched forward, a stifled moan escaping her lip as she watched him tease her. He blew on the wet areola, the cold sensation made her skin prickle; his lips moved to the other pillowy globe, showing it the same slow affections.

The communicator on his arm was beeping incessantly, bringing Sara out of her pleasure-induced daze. Jaal growled low in his chest, his head coming up to glance at the offending appendage. “What is it?” She asked, panting softly for breath.

“It’s my mother. I will call her later.” Jaal stated, already dipping his head back to her chest.

She groaned disappointedly, her hand grabbing his face before he could continue. “Don’t you dare. If Sahuna finds out you ignored her because of me, she’ll have my head.” Sara insisted, as she slipped out of his grasp, moving to stand and covering her breasts with an arm. She tried to soothe the frustrated frown on his face by giving him a conciliatory kiss. “We’ll pick this back up another time. Drack asked me to meet him at Kralla’s Song anyway.” She stated, flitting away to find a sports bra and shirt to wear.

Sara heard him answer the call from behind her with a disheartened sounding “Hello my true mother.”

“Jaal! I have not heard from you in days. Are you trying to break your mother’s heart?” She heard Sahuna say in a playful tone, as she exited her quarters, waving a goodbye at Jaal.

 

\---------

 

By the time Sara returned to the Tempest, it was well into the night cycle on the ship. Jaal was gone, she noted sadly upon entering her room, the discarded tank top next to the couch a reminder of their earlier activities. She considered going to the tech lab to find him, feeling guilty about having abandoned him in the middle of their fun, but thought better of it -- they both needed to rest.

“Sara. Jaal has asked me to deliver a message upon your return to your cabin. I am sending it directly to your omni-tool now.” SAM informed her.

“Okay SAM, thank you.” Sara replied as she removed her clothing.

She settled into the bed, tucking herself under the covers before opening the email from Jaal.

 

_My darling one,_

_In my culture, it is considered rude to leave your partner aching for your touch when in the midst of passionate pursuits. I forgive you for this affront, dearest, though in the future I hope we can find a solution that will appease us both._

_My people have a custom that is often shared between lovers, particularly on occasions where such an interruption or separation is inevitable. I have consulted SAM, who informs me that it is also common among humans. I was surprised by this, but find myself excited at the idea._

_You will find a photo attached to this message. May it fill you with the same desire in which you left me._

_Your darling Jaal_

 

Sara felt her cheeks burning as she read the message, her finger hovering over the attachment, almost afraid to open it. She whimpered when the photo expanded on her omni-tool screen, her eyes wide as she stared; it was Jaal, in her bed, completely naked and _very_ erect. She looked away for a moment, squealing excitedly through pursed lips.

Her eyes drifted back to the photo, intent on taking in every glorious details. The picture had been taken from his omni-tool, the angle suggesting his arm was on his thigh. His beautiful face was clearly marked with pleasure, his large hand fisting the engorged rod between his legs. Sara wondered if he'd finished himself off in her bed, the thought sending a rush of heat to her loins. The angaran medical journals she had poured over specified that the organ was internal until it was time to use it, but no details had been given about the size or appearance; the tiny diagrams had done little to prepare her.

It was thick and lengthy, even in Jaal’s hands; though it had a similar shape to that of a human penis, there were definite differences. The tip was more bulbous toward the top than the underside and there were small rounded ridges along the bottom. It was the same shade of soft lilac as his palms, but there was a gradient effect toward the base, where it darkened to violet. It was beautiful, like everything else about him; her eyes followed the muscled expanse of his abdomen up past the intricacies of his chest and to his sensuous face.

Sara felt the wetness building between her thighs, her hand already caressing its way down her body, deciding that sleep could definitely be put on hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a transitional scene, but it ended up taking on a life of its own and getting way smuttier than I anticipated. It's a bit of a short chapter, but I didn't want to keep you all waiting.
> 
> I considered doing a proper masturbation scene for Sara at the end, but it seemed too gratuitous. Maybe I'm wrong?
> 
> Next chapter will not be nearly this smutty (I think... clearly I have very little control here). Thanks to everyone who left kudos and nice comments. I hope you all enjoy the chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feels train rolls into town.

Sara sat on the floor outside the medbay on the Tempest, her face buried in her hands, knees drawn to her chest, her breaths shallow and unsteady. It was all her fault; she’d been too busy trying to take out the Outcast sniper on the rooftop, completely fixated on the magnified field of view that her scope provided. She should have been watching their flank, but she’d seen one of the sniper’s shots tear through Vetra’s shields and wanted to take him out before he could get a second shot in.

She had waited patiently for him to pop his head back out from behind the cover, the model of equally-paced breaths and sharp focus; finally taking him out with two quick shots to the head. Belatedly, she’d heard the growls of the ancient eiroch, realizing too late that it was charging through the camp, savagely swiping at anything that moved.

Sara’s world had suddenly shifted to slow motion; she watched the blue and lilac blur that was Jaal pulling his firaan out from the shotgunner’s neck, his legs turning to spring away from the incoming eiroch. She had pulled her rifle back up into position, taking a shot in the faint hope of distracting the massive blue beast, but succeeding only in enraging it when her shot hit its eye. 

Jaal hadn’t been fast enough and neither had she; the eiroch closed its giant fist around her beloved, thrashing him around like a broken doll before throwing him in an arch through the air. Sara’s reflexes had finally decided to kick in, her biotics reaching out to catch Jaal’s limp body midair, pulling him carefully to her. She was certain her heart had stopped in that moment, recalling the feeling of it in her throat as her fingers commanded her omnitool to dose him with medi-gel. 

She let out a strangled sob at the memory, the pained look on his face and the bright blue blood seeping out of the corners of his mouth had been imprinted into her mind. 

If she had only been paying better attention, she could have given them more warning, she would have seen the eiroch coming. If her instincts were better, she would have used her biotics to pull Jaal out of harm's way, instead of taking a useless shot. She hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night, preferring to pleasure herself when she should have been resting. If she had simply slept for more than five hours, she would have been at a hundred percent and he would be fine right now. 

Instead, because of her lack of situational awareness, Jaal was in the Tempest medbay, barely conscious and probably severely injured, if not worse. Her carelessness could cost her the person she loved -- her partner, her confidant, her Jaal -- _stars_ , she loved him and she hadn’t even told him yet. ‘ _Please let him be okay._ ’ she thought hopelessly, asking the universe for succor.

Sara had tried to go into the medbay when they’d carried him in, but Lexi had promptly thrown her out, telling her that she was too agitated to be of help. The rest of the crew were hovering in and out the area, ready to assist in any way they could; the nervousness and anxiety clear on all of their faces. Drack had been the calmest of them all, ‘ _That kid is made of tough stuff. He’ll make it._ ’, he’d said in his usual gruff tone.

The waiting made Sara desperately restless and uncomfortable; she was normally great in crisis situations, she wanted to help, she was a problem solver -- sitting around helplessly was not her forte. Time seemed to tick by endlessly, her worry increasing with each passing minute. Her stomach rumbled in protest, she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, but even the thought of food made her stomach roil.

Sara heard the door beside her slide open. “Ryder.”

She said nothing, unable to meet the doctor’s eyes, her insides filled with dread at what Lexi might say. What if there was permanent damage, what if he was barely hanging on, or only had a few hours to live, or if he was _gone_. A whimper escaped her lip, muffled by her hands. How could she have let this happen.

“Sara.” Lexi tried again soothingly, kneeling beside her to get her attention. Sara lowered her hands, her face still wet from the tears her eyes had shed. “You can come in to see him now, if you’d like. He’s unconscious and badly bruised, but he’s stable.”

The sound that left Sara’s lips was something between a sob and a laugh, but it signified relief; she could breath again, the distress in her chest loosening its hold. She was up in an instant, immediately making her way to Jaal’s bedside; he looked peaceful, as though he was simply sleeping and hadn’t been crushed and throttled by an eiroch a few hours earlier. She tucked her hand in his delicately, her thumb brushing over his knuckles in attempt to soothe his pain, despite knowing that he wouldn’t feel it.

“Angara’s skin hardens temporarily when damaged to protect the underlying tissue. That and your quick dose of medi-gel likely saved him from serious damage.” Lexi explained from beside her.

Sara nodded absently, but her eyes remained fixed on Jaal’s face, committing every detail to memory again, trying to erase the image flashing in her mind; his skin ashen, eyes rolling back, mouth twisting into an excruciating grimace.

“I expect he’ll make a swift recovery. Those angaran medical texts you obtained for me were invaluable.” Lexi emphasized, patting Sara’s armored arm comfortingly. “SAM, can you please let the rest of the crew know that Jaal is stable and recovering. They can come visit tomorrow.” Lexi asked the AI.

“Of course Dr. T’Perro.” SAM replied dutifully.

“I’m not leaving him, Lexi.” Sara informed the doctor, her tone brokering no argument. “This is my fault, I’m supposed to protect my team.” She added in a dejected murmur.

Lexi sighed audibly before replying. “You are not to blame for what happened, Sara. You treated the damage in the field immediately, you saved him from further injury, and you reacted quickly and sensibly -- especially given your relationship with him.”

Sara made a sound of noncommittal, “You said I was too frantic to help.”

“You were, the shock was starting to set in once we got him back on the Tempest. You performed admirably out there, but you needed to cede control in here and your mind knew that. You had to take care of yourself while I took care of him.” Lexi insisted, her voice as calm and even as ever. “Sara, look at me and tell me you understand that this wasn’t your fault.”

She conceded, meeting the doctor’s gaze. “Yes, I understand.” She stated, her mind still muddled with doubt, despite the logical part of her brain telling her that Lexi’s words were true.

“Good. Now, if you’re going to stay here, let me help you out of your gear so you can at least get some sleep. Use the adjacent bed if you must, but please rest. SAM showed me what happened. You tore that eiroch apart. You don’t normally use your biotics to that extent, you must be exhausted.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll try to sleep.” She agreed wearily, reluctantly releasing Jaal’s hand to remove her armor. The form-fitting body suit underneath wasn’t ideal for sleeping, but it would have to do. She knew going to her room would have been useless, she would be tossing and turning all night; at least here, with him in her sights, she could try to rest a bit.

Lexi helped her pile the equipment neatly in a corner of the room before heading toward the door, turning around at the threshold. “I’ll be right across the hall if you need me, Sara.”

She met the other woman’s gaze, giving her a tired smile. “Thank you, Lexi. I don’t know what I would have done… sincerely, thank you.” She said gratefully.

Lexi bowed her head in acknowledgement, “You’re welcome. Sleep well.”

The door to the medbay closed behind her, leaving Sara alone with Jaal; she returned to his bedside, unwilling to lie down yet, despite her fatigue. Her thumb traced the line of his brow, admiring the features of his beautiful face; a face she had come to know so intimately that is was difficult to think of as alien. Sara wiped at her cheeks, the tears having unwittingly made their resurgence, flowing in hot streaks toward her neck.

She stood watching over him until she was fighting to keep her eyes open, exhaustion finally taking hold. She kissed his forehead softly before moving to tuck herself into the bed beside his, facing him as she drifted off to sleep.

 

\---------

 

Oceans filled with luminous lights, sparkling like the stars she loved so deeply, shining on a backdrop of obsidian; his eyes were the first thing she saw as the veil of sleep faded away. Her eyes felt puffy and swollen, lashes sticking together, her throat dry and aching; all souvenirs of a night spent consumed by grief.

Sara was on her knees at his bedside with a swiftness her tired body should not have had, pressing her lips to the back on his hand as she tucked hers within it, eyes brimming with fresh tears. “Jaal…” She croaked out, her voice wavering and unsteady even in the single syllable.

“ _Taoshay_ ” He whispered, her translator unable to pick up the faint word through the roughness of his voice. Jaal visibly swallowed, clearing his throat before attempting to speak again. “Sara...”

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, though her tears were joyful, she needed to pull herself together; he was alive and awake, and she was here to help. “How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Should I go get Lexi?” She fired the slew of questions at him, leaving him no time to answer.

Jaal chuckled softly at her, “Slow down, darling.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I am feeling stiff and sore. Perhaps slightly fatigued, but considerably fortunate -- given the circumstances.”

Sara closed her eyes momentarily, her jaw clenching painfully at the recollection of the previous day’s events. “I’m so sorry Jaal, I should have had better awareness. The eiroch came so fast, but… I could have warned you in time. It’s my fault you were injured. I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She mumbled into their joined hands, unable to meet his eyes; her lingering guilt bubbling out of her, unchecked.

“Do not blame yourself, my sweet Sara. It is not your fault I let the eiroch get too close. It was a miscalculation on my part. These are the hazards of battle, we face them every day, no one is to blame.” He assured her, his hand squeezing hers gently.

She shook her head in disagreement, “I should have been faster. I could have pulled you out. I could have…” She stopped when he untangled his hand from hers to catch her chin between his fingers, tilting her head up to meet his gaze.

“Sara. Please believe me, you are guilty of nothing.” He paused, his thumb wiping at the wet rivulets across her cheek. “What is Lexi’s prognosis? I faintly remember her saying that she was administering sedatives to help with the pain, but I cannot recall anything after that.”

She pulled herself up, settling her hip at the side of his bed to sit in the small space that wasn’t occupied by his thick thighs. She tried to internalize his words, letting them soothe her guilt, her fear allayed by the knowledge that he did not blame her. “She said there are no signs of permanent damage and that she expects you’ll recover fairly quickly. I wasn’t allowed in until you were already asleep.” She held his hand in her lap, stroking at his palm lovingly. “I was terrified, Jaal. I’m so grateful you’re okay.” She admitted with a shaky breath.

“Dr. T’Perro is very good at what she does, darling. I am certain I will recuperate swiftly, angara usually do, we are very hardy.” He soothed, clearly trying to quell her worry. Jaal gave her a soft smile, bringing his free hand to bury itself in her hair. “I will be out of this bed before you have time to miss me.”

She smiled coyly at that. “That’s impossible. I’ll miss you as soon as I leave the room.” She teased sweetly, winning her a grin from Jaal. Sara heard the door to the medbay slide open behind her.

“Oh good, you’re both awake. How are you feeling, Jaal?” Lexi asked as she entered the room, immediately launching a scan of her patient using her omni-tool. Jaal's hand slipped from its place in Sara's tresses as she rose from the bed, giving the doctor space to examine her patient.

“Morning Lexi.” Sara said with a small chuckle, watching the doctor’s all-business attitude shining through as she worked.

“Hello Dr.T’Perro. I am feeling well, though my muscles are tight and aching.” Jaal replied, turning his attention to the doctor.

“Lacerations are mostly healed. There is still some swelling, but that should subside on its own.” Lexi explained. “Angaran physiology is fascinating -- the localized protective scleroderma are already returning to normal. The medi-gel seems to have helped tremendously as well, none of the internal injuries remain. You’ll be back to normal in a few days.” She noted, staring at the results of the bioscan.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me, Lexi.” Jaal said gratefully.

Lexi offered him a small smile, “Don’t thank me yet, I want to keep you for observation today.”

Jaal grunted in response, but remained silent, his mouth turning to show his displeasure.

“Ryder, you look pallid. Have you eaten anything? Did you get any sleep?” Lexi questioned, turning toward Sara with a frown, her scanner brandished like a weapon.

“Yes Lexi, I slept plenty. I just woke up, so I haven’t eaten, but I’ll grab some food. I promise.” Sara replied resignedly, knowing the doctor meant well. “Do you want anything, Jaal? Should I bring you some nutrient paste?”

“Yes, please. That would be wonderful.” He replied, offering her an appreciate smile.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a little bit.” Sara said as she stood to leave, dropping a kiss on his forehead before departing.

Sara stopped into the bathroom first to wash her face and brush her teeth. The cool water was refreshing on the puffy eyes, but Lexi had been right -- her reflection in the mirror looked pale and drawn. She needed food and probably more sleep; knowing that Jaal was alright had helped to settle her stomach and she’d rest easy now that he was awake and well.

The galley was empty when she arrived, it was still in the early hours of the morning shift on the Tempest. Sara gathered rations for herself and nutrient paste for Jaal, her arms full as she made her way back to the medbay. Lexi was seated at her desk, seemingly busying herself with reviewing the charts and scans she kept on each of the crew members.

“Thank you, dearest.” Jaal said with a small smile as she handed him the bowl filled with the thick gray puree, his people regularly ate. Sara returned his smile, settling herself at the edge of his bed again, balancing her tray of food on one thigh.

“Are we still on Kadara?” Jaal asked in between bites.

“We are, but we’ll be out of here soon. I’m thinking a short trip to Aya might do us all some good. We have some business there and the trip will give you time to recuperate.” Sara explained, having decided the previous night that it should be their next destination. They needed to resupply on a few things that would be mostly easily obtained on Aya, including Jaal’s food stores and a few medicines specific to angara.

“Good. I will be glad to leave this wasteland of a planet behind.” He stated, taking another large scoop of the paste into his mouth. Sara smiled indulgently at him, feeling the urge to be off Kadara as well; there was little for them to do at the moment, and after the previous day’s events, she wanted to be as far away as possible.

The pair finished their meal in companionate silence, sharing small, affectionate smiles while they ate.

“Darling, since Lexi has decided to confine me to this bed for the day, would you please bring me my schematics so I can at least get some work done. I'd like to finish the plans for your gift.” He asked, shooting a mildly accusatory glance at the doctor.

“Of course. Anything you need.” Sara agreed, gathering up the empty tray and bowl to get it all out of his way.

“The a box of blueprints is next to my bed.” He elaborated as she made her way to the door.

She nodded, departing for the galley to drop off the used dishes, washing them quickly before making her way to the tech lab. She spotted the box near the foot of Jaal’s bed, packed tightly with rolls of schematics. Sara grabbed it, balancing it on her shoulder to carry it down to the medbay easily.

Jaal picked one out the box once she’d set it down, unrolling it carefully. “Oh no. This is the wrong crate, dearest.” He stated upon seeing the unfurled roll in his hands.

Sara leaned around to peek at the sheet in his hands, wondering how many boxes of schematics Jaal had. “ _Oh._ ” She breathed as her eyes roamed over the drawing; it appeared to be a rendition of her on Havarl, if the foliage was any indication.

“Is that… me?” The sketch seem show her looking through the scope of her sniper rifle with focused determination, the thick brush of plants creating a wall to keep her hidden from some unseen enemy.

“Yes, this box contains illustrations from our travels. I have drawn everyone on the crew at one point or another, but you feature most prominently.” Jaal explained casually.

Sara looked at him in amazement, his skill with sketching apparently transcended just technical schematics. “Wow… Can I see more of them?”

“Of course, darling one.” He agreed with a smile, rolling up the one in his hands before reaching for another.

This one was of Liam and Drack at the Tavetaan, the drawing showed them leaning on the bar, relaxing with drinks in their hands. “You’re so insanely talented, Jaal. The detail in these is incredible.” She praised genuinely.

He smiled at her, setting it aside to pull out another; this one was of her doing yoga in her quarters, her body twisted into Janiri’s Serenity. “This one was difficult for me. It was a study in the human form.” He admitted with a chuckle.

The next one showed her outside of the Tempest, surrounded by the guards on Aya, it was a depiction of the first time he had ever seen her. Sara took a deep breath as she took in the details, the way he drew her was true to life but there was something _more_ \-- a beauty she did not think she possessed. His artwork was all stunning, but there was something different about the way he portrayed her, as though she were somehow radiant.

“You’ve been doing these for a long time.” She commented in awe, her breath hitching slightly as the feeling of wonderment overwhelmed her.

He nodded, taking her hand in his. “You have given me the spark of inspiration since I first laid eyes on you. I knew from the first moment that there was something extraordinary about your spirit --  luminous and captivating.” She felt the gentle buzz of his bioelectricity against her hand; it warmed her to the core, knowing he was trying to show her the physical manifestation of his words.

He had been admiring her since they first met, just as she’d felt a pull to him from the start. Her chest ached at the thought that she had nearly lost him; this wondrous spirit who had miraculously been thrust into her life against all odds. Sara gave him a sweet, lingering kiss, trying to convey all of the love and admiration she felt for him in that moment. “Thank you for showing these to me. They’re beautiful.” She whispered as she pulled away.

“Would you like to see more?” He asked with a happy smile on his lips, apparently very pleased that she liked his work.

“Yes, of course.” Sara accepted with a smile, trying to keep the tears from welling up in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Had a bit of writer's block with this one. I wanted to use the opportunity to explore how Jaal would cope with his own physical trauma, but found that I couldn't find the words for it. In any case, it was time to let it go, even if I'm not satisfied with it. This might see rewrites in the future.
> 
> On a brighter note, our couple is headed back to Aya! We all know what that means. Hooray for incoming sexy times. In the meantime, I hope this chapter isn't overly terrible.
> 
> Thanks as always to everyone who left kudos and comments. I appreciate you. <3


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